Last time I posted, we were in the middle of our ‘soft start’ back to school. Since then, it’s been a struggle trying to figure out what our new ‘normal’ looks like. Before hurricane Harvey struck, we’d been experimenting with a block schedule, but without any impetus to really give it a good try, it’s just been a thing more in theory than in practice. But since we are still living with friends right now, and not in our own space where we can school as we normally do, we’ve revisited the idea of a block schedule in truth as a way to make the most of our time and energy (and limited space and resources).
Block scheduling, for those who aren’t familiar with the concept, is basically where you do only one or two subjects per day, but rather than spread the lessons out over the course of the week, you do several lessons in that subject all at once. Colleges usually have block scheduling. Here’s a sample of what our (ideal) block schedule looks like right now:
- Mondays: science, SAT practice and music (orchestra class)
- Tuesdays: history, civics, SAT practice & music
- Wednesdays: math, SAT practice & music
- Thursdays: co-op (including orchestra class)
- Fridays: grammar, literature, SAT practice & music (orchestra practice at home and private lessons on their second instrument)
I say ‘ideal’ because we are still displaced from Harvey, and keeping any kind of regular schedule is… difficult, at best. At this point, if we manage to get *any* schooling done, I am counting it as a success. We are eight weeks out, and I literally have no idea when our lives will return even to a glimpse of ‘normal’. But we’re working on establishing whatever good habits, school-wise, we can, and music practice is a big part of that.
LBB is still catching up to where the class is after switching to cello from violin over the summer, and PeaGreen (who is still playing violin for co-op) has experimented with several instruments including piano, guitar, ukulele, and coronet and has now decided that saxophone is the one for him. With a saxophone in hand now (thanks to a very generous friend), he’s confident that his future as a jazz musician is assured. We’ll see how that goes. LBB has tried guitar and piano, and is just focusing on cello for now.
Practice in ‘not our house’ has been difficult. I don’t know if our music stands were tossed in the cleanup, or if they’re very well-packed, but I couldn’t find them so we’ve had to make-do. Fortunately, that’s been resolved since these pictures were taken (thanks Amazon Prime 2-day free shipping*!!). LBB’s been using my cello book in class, so I also got him a new book, strings and a bow for PeaGreen (the one PG is using is his teacher’s) so we’re finally set for orchestra to resume. Co-op as well; we started up a couple of weeks ago, but the first class back ended up being a social thing with no classes since the kids hadn’t seen each other in a month. Hurricanes are hard to deal with in so many ways; I’ve been through them before with younger kids (Rita when they were 2/3, and Ike when they were 5/6 or so), and this experience has been harder in some ways and easier in some. When they were younger, being out of our house was an adventure. As long as I was cool, they were cool. Now, they have enough knowledge and interest in the situation to be stressed in their own right, independent of my feelings about the situation. Just another stop on the magical mystery tour of parenting teenagers, I guess.
We did get ‘official’ school pictures done though. Behold:
It’s been hard to decide what the priority thing is lately. Everything is a priority right now, therefore nothing is. It’s a weird place to be in, and stressful because there’s so much to do in every direction. Not only are we cleaning up our own house, but also my dad’s. He lives 2 houses down from us, and was also flooded/rescued during Harvey. He’s also been displaced and is staying with friends. He’s in a wheelchair, so my sister was really the one who did the initial cleanup and set-up of the fans to dry everything out. Along the way, she found a Starbucks gift card in some of my mom’s things (we lost so much of her personal things that we hadn’t gotten to yet – it’s pretty traumatizing), and since she doesn’t drink coffee, passed it along to me. Being without her has been hard; it was nice to have ‘coffee on Mom’ one last time with LBB. I do want to point out that though I did get the picture I wanted (below), LBB thought it was ‘disrespectful’ to make a big deal about having coffee with/on Grammie, which initiated a conversation about grief and processing and the ways and hows that make things okay or distasteful for different people, and how to support different choices and paths of grieving. I forget sometimes that he lost both of his grandmothers within 18 months of each other. It was a good conversation, and a good reminder for me.
Aside from school and life-lessons, the process of cleanup, demolition, and rebuilding continues. We have an old house, so there have been some repairs that we needed to make anyway that the flooding just exacerbated. Workdays at the house are hard, but it’s nice to see progress.
In the chaos, I am trying to remember to be a good mom. PG and I went to see a showing of The Nightmare Before Christmas (which is a traditional Halloween and Christmas Day movie in our house, but that we won’t get to do this year – at least for Halloween. Maybe for Christmas!!) date night. Then the next day, I woke LBB up early to go have breakfast with me, and of course, selfies in the car have become our ‘thing’.
In other news, our library’s homeschool book clubs have started up again. The teen book club was originally scheduled for sometime in September, but got moved for obvious reasons. I was afraid we’d miss it this year; we missed all of last year due to various reasons – the primary one being my mom’s illness and death (and coming to terms with that after the fact). But with the hurricane, it got pushed back to October, so we didn’t miss it after all.
Another ‘after working on the house’ outing – to Orange Leaf for some much needed froyo with Dad.
Somehow, I only have the one picture of PG playing his new pink violin. I’ll have to rectify that soon.
Though it’s very slow-going, we are definitely making some progress on the house. Now that all of the damaged sheet rock is out, we’re making plans for repairs. On my end, that means choosing new paint colors. I’ve decided to go with the same color for all of the rooms except the bedrooms, and gray is the direction I am leaning. I picked up a few paint swatches and put them on the walls to check the color in the house (because it never looks like it does in the store under the fluorescent lights). Most of them were too ‘blue’, and a few too dark or with a green cast to them. I was able to narrow it down a bit, and will get down to three or so and then move the samples to the other walls.
I know that I want my bedroom the same color it was before, but the paint cans are all gone now, so I was really glad I am my same obsessive self, because I was able to go back through blog posts to when we re-did our bedroom to find the paint color – Daring Indigo by Behr. I now have justification for almost a decade of blogging!
At this point, we are just trying to figure out funding. Between FEMA and SBA, hopefully we will be able to make the repairs we need to so that our home is livable again soon. Anyway. That’s pretty much all that’s happening in our world right now. Hope your world is functioning within normal parameters 😉
*disclaimer: this isn’t a sponsored post and I am not an Amazon affiliate. I just appreciate the hell out of a company that can get me things I want/need in 2 days for free. 😉
This year started out as one might expect – Christmas is over, and we extended our vacation by a week into January because we ended up continuing our school year into December. We spent Twelfth Night as we always do, taking down our Christmas decorations and storing them carefully for next year. We cleaned up the pine needles and got rid of our couch (since there are so many instruments taking up space in our living room now), leaving room for music practice and a couple of chairs that we rescued from my grandmother’s house.
We joined our friends one evening to continue our D&D campaign, had our regular round of music lessons, and spent the first Teen Social of this year with a LOTR marathon before taking a trip to Longview to visit my grandmother in her new house.
The first weekend of 2017 was winding down, and we were preparing to get ready for school when my dad called and said that he thought we needed to bring my mom to the emergency room. She’d been sick for a couple of months and no one could figure out why. Tests were clear, but she was getting sicker and weaker every week. When my dad called, she was very dehydrated, so we brought her to the emergency room and, after some testing, they admitted her to ICU.
On day 2 or 3 in ICU, she was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer, and so we mobilized the family and between me, my dad, my sister, my brother and sister-in-law, we stayed with her round the clock. She was moved out of ICU to a regular room after a couple of days when her numbers started to improve, but because her cancer was so advanced, she decided to opt out of treatment options and move to hospice care. 17 days later, she was dead.
It’s amazing how quickly your priorities, your ideas about what’s necessary today, you entire world, can shift. Just like that, this year’s school plans fizzed into a holding pattern so I could focus on my parents. It happened so quickly that I don’t think that I’ve truly processed it even a month later. We spent so much time at the hospital and hospice center. School obviously took a back seat for a while – we only made it 2 weeks into the first 6 weeks of this school year before my entire being was focused on my mom. The first couple of weeks, we tried to maintain normalcy. We went to co-op; the kids and I all did our first round of chair testing; we even took instruments to the hospice center and the boys played for my mom and dad.
But it was a downhill battle, and she slipped away all too quickly. My siblings and I spent hours debating what the ‘right’ thing to do was – should we go to work, should we stay close? How long do we have? When should we bring the kids up to see her? So many, many questions and no real way to get good answers. It was a lot of ‘do the thing’ and hope for the best.
We were with her when she died. My dad on one side of her, my sister at the foot of her bed and me on the other side of her. Our brother had left that morning after being with her all night, and had to rush back once it was clear that she was in rapid decline.
I’m not good with grief; no one is, I’m sure. I (thankfully) haven’t had a lot of experience with loss. I’ve lost great grandparents when I was young, and 3 of my grandparents. I’ve lost my father in law, and my husband’s grandmother, and in 2009, lost a baby that we desperately wanted. Each loss has been different, and I guess nothing can prepare you for the feelings that come when you lose your mom. Even though she and I had a strained relationship, it’s been really difficult.
We spent the days immediately after her death going through all of the pictures, pulling ones we wanted to use for a slide show at her memorial service. There were so many pictures… and yet never enough.
We had a memorial service for her 3 weeks after she died, and are getting together this weekend to bring her ashes to our dad. The boys all wore yellow ties, because yellow was her favorite color.
It’s been a month and a half now, and we’re in our third week of school. I’m glad we took the time off that we did, but am also glad to be getting back to our normal routines. We had another round of chair testing in orchestra, and the kids have been hard at work both at home and at classes and co-op.
They went to their Aquatic Science class in either February or March 2017 – I can’t remember off the top of my head. They had several water lab stations set up. It was pretty cool!
For our March teen social with our homeschool group, the kids painted the Galaxy Unicorn along with The Art Sherpa. They made their works their own; instead of a unicorn, PeaGreen chose to draw a weenie-dog with an inflatable unicorn horn. I think he pretty much nailed it.
Seat testing again! The entire class stepped their game up so much this round! It was SUPER competitive this time, and they both did an awesome job – all the kids did!
Once testing was over, they had lunch and we started our art lesson – sculpture.
Even though things are ‘back to normal’, in some ways, things will never be ‘normal’ again. Or maybe it’s just a new normal. It’s really hard to sort through my feelings, but I needed a space to do that, so I started a new, less topic-focused blog. I’ll link to in eventually, but for now I’m keeping it to myself.
I bought an urn necklace with her birthstone in it and put some of her ashes inside. I wear her jewelry, and listen to songs she loved. For now, it’s helping me feel connected to her as I figure the rest out.
This is the last moment I had with her. Her hand was still warm, and I try every day to remember the feel of her skin. I know I’ll forget one day, and that hurts more than anything.
Until next time,
I had this post split into two; one for November (which I never got around to publishing) and one for December. Considering that we’re now well past Christmas and about to kick off the new year, I decided to combine them into one post and just get it published so I can move on, otherwise, I am not sure they’d ever get posted individually.
November always starts off with a bang, and this year was no different. For some reason, #allthethings seem to happen in the last couple of weeks of October/first couple of weeks of November and I inevitably miss out on things I wanted to do because of the other things I also wanted to do. For example, there was a Native American International Pow-Wow the week before Halloween weekend. I didn’t get to go because of work (which is actually a thing that I enjoy doing), but it’s on my calendar as a placeholder for next year(if they have one next year, that is).
One of the major events we make time for is the annual ‘School Days’ trip to the TX Renaissance Festival. It’s about a 3 hour drive from our house, but usually worth it. This year, it was hot, and muggy and I ended up spending a lot of time waiting for other people to find me/meet up with the group. Good idea in theory, but bad in practice. This was the first year that I let my kids wander off with their friends. Also a good idea in theory, but in practice it meant that as soon as I got one kid settled, I had to be still and wait for the other to find me for one reason or another (because kids always need something). We’ll have to figure out a better plan for next year; I missed out on all the Ren Fest stuff this year. I didn’t have a great time at school days, but chalked it up to lessons learned and planned to make it up a couple of weeks later when we had plans to go again with friends, but I ended up being sick and not able to go. I have big plans for Ren Fest 2017 though!
November’s teen social was a low-key; we just met at someone’s house and the kids watched cartoons and played a game. I’m so grateful that they have a group of kids that they get along with. We’ve been very fortunate in our homeschool journey to have that dynamic now. It’s been a lot of work over the years, but it was worth it!
Another event we always make time for is our annual Thanksgiving Party & food drive through our homeschool group. We started this a few years ago, and are pleased to see it continuing. We had anticipated a bigger turnout this year, but the weather was pretty nasty and it kept a lot of people away. We had a great feast though, and were able to bring a nice donation to the food bank.
Our homeschool co-op continues to meet and exceed expectations. We have class on Thursdays, but also have music class on Mondays as well. Our music teacher is offering formal lessons starting in January, and we’ve been adding in private lessons for the boys (violin) and for me (piano) as well as class time. This was from November – a rare shot of a Monday class.
In co-op, they’ve moved on from Debate and into home ec – starting with learning to crochet. This is a skill that neither of my boys learned very well. I can do the chain stitch, but when I crochet, I end up with a slice of pizza instead of a square. Knitting is more my style; they started knitting in December.
We’ve been homeschooling for 6 years now, and it seems like right about the time I start thinking about how we’ve been to all the homeschool things and seen all the homeschooling things, an event will pop up that’s totally new to me. Such is the case with the Houston Gem & Mineral Society’s Education Day in Humble, TX. This was part market/part education and we had SUCH a good time! There were so many pretty things to look at, and the kids got to take a couple of classes, sit in on some demonstrations on stone-cutting and jewelry-making, and play with electronics. They also had a scavenger hunt that spanned the entire building, which ensured that the kids got to see everything.
Thanksgiving this year was low-key and perfect. It was a change; our usual holiday plan was to go to Loverly Husband’s grandmother’s house and spend the day with his family. However, she passed away this summer, so we weren’t sure what the holiday would look like. His aunt hosted Thanksgiving at her house though, so it was much the same (except for the notable absence). We ended up spending a few hours chatting with family and then heading back home for a really peaceful evening.
As always, work is never far from my agenda; Whole Mothering Center celebrated Small Business Saturday with ‘Meet the Doulas’ at our local mall with our apprentice doulas, Kristin, Shylee and Cherish, and our brand new Certified Lactation Counselor, Ashley. We met quite a few new mamas and spent our down-time brainstorming, which led to Talkback Tuesday livecasts with WMC from our Facebook page.
In other news, November is the month that I both love and dread when it comes to my planner. I always make the new one at the end of the month, which is AMAZING – my favorite thing ever might just be a fresh, newly-printed Bossy Book… however, my year starts in January, so the month of December usually sees me carrying around 2 books – the old one with all of my current stuff, and the new one for all future planning. It’s a dilemma, I tell ya. But kvetching aside, I went for a complete re-design this year. If you’re a fan of my planner, I’m keeping the blank/printable/free version up on my printable freebies page; you can still download and use the previous versions of my planners there. If you want something custom, I have started making them for others. You can find out more on the Bossy Books by Heather Facebook page.
December is traditionally the month that we get to take off, regroup and catch up on things we’ve slacked off on. This year has been a bit different. The addition of co-op and music lessons to our normal schedule took a toll that I hadn’t anticipated. I was really exhausted at the beginning of this month. That’s partially why I ended up combining the last 2 posts into one – I just haven’t had time to hammer out the text to go along with the pictures. So we really put the kibosh on plans and the doing of things this month. I’ve had a lot of time at home this month, which hasn’t translated to ‘resting’, but it has been nice. That said, December has definitely had its own share of events to relay.
We’re still playing the same D & D campaign we started earlier this year. It been really fun to experiment with what this style of gaming can accomplish. I really love my character, and LBB has kept his as well. PeaGreen and several of our other compatriots have retired their original ‘starter’ characters and created new ones that fit them better.
December’s teen social was a slightly cool, rainy-day cookout – we roasted hot dogs and s’mores before we were sent inside by the rain.
One of the our kids had a birthday tea-party, which was really lovely. Her mom went all out with the fancy finger foods and tea options!
Most of the last month or so has been spent learning Christmas music for our homeschool group’s Christmas party. We decided to do a mini-concert, with orchestra kids playing and some of the other kids singing carols. It went really well! I’m so impressed with the kids who’ve gone from knowing nothing about stringed instruments to actually reading music and playing well enough to perform in front of a crowd. They have really out in a lot of effort and practice, and it showed. Our living room is perpetually the land of musical instrument and accouterments-dodging these days – music stands, folders and an excess of seating seems to be the ‘look’ we’re cultivating now. We’re contemplating the wisdom of disposing of the couch entirely to make room, but will wisely wait until after Christmas decor is safely stored once again in their boxes to make final decisions.
LBB turned 15 on the 10th, and got a new computer for his birthday. He actually got it a few months ago, and just had a couple of friends over for a sleepover to celebrate. I’m a slacker mom and didn’t make them pose for pictures this time. He keeps making faces in the first 3 shots of picture-time these days, so it’s almost become more hassle than it’s worth to try to get a clean short of him! We persevered with our holidays cards though.