I think it’s time that we were finally honest about what we homeschooling moms really mean when we say, ‘Oh, ‘we homeschool’, especially when talking to our non-homeschooling compatriots. I mean, everyone knows that ‘it’s just the best option for us right now’ is too straight-forward and simple to be the truth. It has to be more complicated than that, right? So I thought I’d clear the air, for once and for all, with a list of the top five things that, though unsaid, are clearly lurking just below the surface of our not-so-innocent comment:
5. We’re craftier and better-organized than you.
Just look at our Pinterest boards if you don’t believe me. Or our blogs. Or our Pinterest board filled with pins from our blogs! And while you’re at it, check out our supply cabinets at home. With everything in it’s place, properly labeled, color-coded and alphabetized; it’s plain to see that homeschooling moms out-class you. Not only can we create a lesson plan that includes craft time, we’ve also allotted time for a healthy, organic snack (plated beautifully, or arranged to recreate either a beloved children’s book character or into a bento featuring whatever Disney feature Princess ranks #1 this week).
4.We’re way more patient than you.
We spend every waking moment with our kids. And we LOVE it. Every day, it is our utmost pleasure to not only be in the presence of, but engaging with our children; helping them understand the world and their place in it, and helping them make plans to change it for the betterment of mankind. We lovingly slave over difficult concepts like phonics, and long division, and Latin declensions just to give our blessed spawn a step up in the real world (with which they interact on a daily basis, unlike your child who is in a glorified jail!!). Our cups overfloweth with limitless time and attention to every detail of everything our kids say and do, and we’re never too tired or cranky to be fully supportive of and nurturing to our future leaders of humanity and industry.
We also do crafts with our kids; MESSY crafts, like papier-mache, with our kids. We let, nay, encourage our precious little angels to create messes. In fact, even our messes are better than yours; they’re artfully scattered and arranged in eye-pleasing heaps, so that you actually feel guilty for being judgmental when you read the (hand-home-made chic) sign that says, ‘excuse our mess, the children are making memories’. And we do glitter… WITH the kids. ‘Nuff said.
3. We care more about our kids’ education than you care about yours.
Obviously. Because how can you possibly be as involved as we are? And volunteering with your child’s school simply doesn’t compare – how could it? We literally have our fingertips on the very pulse of our children’s education; adding this and excluding that, studying into the wee hours comparing one curriculum with another, spending countless hours reading ahead and creating – not just ‘lesson plans’, but environments that foster total immersion into learning. Nothing can compete with that. NOTHING.
2. Our kids are smarter than yours.
And it’s all due to how much time and effort we’ve put into them. While our kids are solving complex equations by age 5, having in-depth discussions over the literary significance of Harry Potter by 3rd grade, and submitting this year’s next prize-winning science fair project at University level while still in middle school, your precious little pumpkin-head is still eating paste and making mud pies. The fact is, your kids could be this smart if only you invested in them more… which brings us to the number one thing that we’re really saying when we say ‘We’re homeschooling’:
1. We’re better mothers than you are.
That’s really it. I mean, this basically sums up all of the previous points in a nutshell – we are simply better at this whole parenting thing than you are. So suck it, poser!
At least, that’s what some people (most notably, non-homeschoolers with an inferiority complex) would have you believe. Obviously, the above is quite cheeky, and not an actual depiction of the unspoken meaning behind such a simple phrase. In reality, probably 90% of us truly are simply doing what’s best for our kids and family right now, and the vast majority of us are fine with changing what we do if/when the need or situation arises. The other 10% are either sanctimommies who give the rest of us a bad name, or have some other reason I can’t account for here. We’re not trying to challenge you or anyone else by homeschooling our kids; it’s just what we’re doing and your mileage may vary. And that’s fine. Honestly.
I’ve been accused of harboring most of the above points at one time or another, either outright or thinly veiled. As a mom who is just doing her best, comments or thoughts like these from ‘friends’ hurt. Especially when we are all supposed to be on ‘Team Mom’ in Solidarity. Just like other moms in various niche environments, I know that as a homeschooling mom, I have to watch things that I say that might be construed badly by the casual listener. I will absolutely admit that there have been times where I’ve said something in reaction that was divisive, or that made it sound like homeschooling is ‘better’ (I mean, it’s what we do, so of course I think it’s better… people don’t do the things they do because they think it’s the worst), but I try very hard to temper my enthusiasm for homeschooling (because most of the time, I actually do really enjoy it) with the slice of reality that is: homeschooling is NOT the right choice for every family. And the fact is, we may not always homeschool. We plan to homeschool throughout, but circumstances change, and if they do, I am not necessarily opposed to having my kids enrolled in a brick and mortar school again. But that doesn’t make one choice or the other ‘better’. The entire concept of ‘better’ is based on so many factors that are unique to each individual child, family, situation, options… a host of factors (most of which are probably unknown in casual conversation).
So the next time you hear a mom say, “We homeschool”, and you’re inclined to take that as some sort of slur or attack, check that urge and try listening to what they’re probably saying, which might be any number of things, including (but not limited to):
- we had issues with our child’s school/teacher/other students that weren’t getting resolved and this is what’s best for us right now
- my child has learning disabilities or other special education needs that weren’t being addressed or handled by the school and this is what’s best for us right now
- we have odd scheduling or other family/situational factors that make this the best choice for our family right now
- we have fundamental issues with the public education system and thankfully, we’re in a situation that means that this is what’s best for us right now
- I/my spouse/my child or other person in our life has medical issues that make this the best option for us right now
- I’d love an alternative, but our options are limited, and so based on available options, this is what’s best for us right now
- my child has athletic or other area of study/expertise that require a non-traditional educational schedule, which makes this the best choice for us right now
- We travel a lot, or are only in this area for a limited time due to work or other factors, which makes this the best option for us right now
- I didn’t realize this was a competition; you do you and we’ll do what’s best for us right now
(This post was inspired by Rants From Mommyland’s ‘Domestic Enemies’ series.)
It’s crazy how fast time passes by, especially when you’re busy, not that being busy is anything outside of the norm for us. We’ve hit 2016 running, and (as usual) have had one activity after another. I am honestly looking forward already to our break, which is planned for mid-February. After a month with no school responsibilities, getting back to the daily grind has been rough! Don’t get me wrong; it’s been fun, and nice to have the routine again, but still… I think I’m just a lazybones at heart.
One thing I can say that’s been absolutely perfect is the weather! You may have heard the jokes about Texas weather or seen memes that allude to the insane unpredictability: ‘don’t like it? Give it an hour and it will change’; ‘the four seasons of Texas: Summer, Summerer, SummererER, Christmas Day’; etc…. While those aren’t far off, January is always fairly mild, and this year exemplifies that perfectly. Mornings range from 40’s to 50’s, and the highs are in the 60’s and 70’s – this is what I imagine other parts of the US enjoy for Spring or Fall weather. February and March might be cold, but for now, we’re outside as much as possible, soaking up the cool(er) weather.
Our homeschool group went out to the Big Thicket National Preserve for a hike last week. Their Visitor’s Center is really nice; it’s one of our favorite stops when we’re in Kountze. We hiked the Sundew Trail, which is famous for its carnivorous plants (sundews and pitcher plants). I think it was a little early in the season though; mostly we saw pines and yaupon underbrush. Last year (or maybe two years ago), we went out there right after they had a prescribed burn. It was really interesting to see the burns on the pines, and to see how quickly the forest bounced back. Most of the new growth was as high as I am tall (5’4ish). It was cool to see how the trees recovered as well.
January is the beginning of our group’s art classes. We’re working from Discovering Great Artists, and our first lesson is on Pablo Picasso. The kids were instructed to paint a self-portrait for use in the project for the class. I wish I’d noticed that the boys were both using such similar colors, but it probably won’t matter in the end since the pictures will be cut up and reassembled, and added to with other supplies to make a collage.
Here’s the obligatory group shot, and our ‘after’ pictures, Picasso-style!
This was such a fun project – the kids did a great job on their original portraits, and their after creations ran the gamut from basic cubism to truly eclectic creations. I love art, and as a homeschooling teacher, that’s probably one of the things I regret most – that we don’t spend as much time on actually ‘making’ art as I’d like. It’s been on my mind for a while; I got the kids a ‘wreck it’ style journal, and one for myself for us to go through this year. I did Keri Smith’s ‘Wreck this Journal’ a couple of years ago and found it to be a lot of fun; hopefully the boys will find some inspiration in this journal, too. Rip It, Write It, Draw It is on sale at B&N right now for $3.99 – a great buy if you’ve been wanting to try WTJ but not wanting to spend the dough for a book you’re just going to tear up! (Disclosure – I am not affiliated with B&N nor do I receive kickbacks from them or anyone else – I just have this book and appreciate a good deal.) I’ve already re-covered mine with a quote from this little gem of a book, which I’ve found helpful for everything from personal reminders to boosting notes to the kids and friends.
We’re wrapping up this week with some advice from the Homeschool Snark Shark… and calling it a half-day today.
Hope you have a great weekend!
We follow a non-traditional school year. When I originally withdrew my boys from public school, it was just after the winter break. They were mid-semester, so we finished out that 6-week grading period, and then started homeschooling. Ever since then, we’ve started our ‘year’ in January.
Way back when I was a newbie homeschooler, I was anxious to get started. I knew what I wanted, and I was ready to go after it. We jumped in, both feet first and never looked back. The older, wiser, more experienced homeschooling mom in me now looks back on that eager, idealistic mom and thinks, ‘Aww… you sweet, summer child.’ As with so many, many things, I wish I’d known then even half of what I know now. All in all, I don’t think we had that bad of a start. There are things I’d do differently; de-schooling for a while, for one thing, but we didn’t hit the books hard and heavy right off the bat; we got started soon, but we did take it easy, so I don’t have too many regrets. But the pressure I put on myself was enormous. At the time, I had yet to be diagnosed or started treatment for anxiety disorder, and looking back I know that my internal stress-o-rama was partially due to that. Even so, I had no direction, no real clue as to what I really needed to do, so I did all the things. I’d never planned for homeschooling before, so I was making it up as I went along, and like many newbies, got way to ambitious and idealistic. Luckily, I had some really kind and caring guides along the way who helped me reign in my tendencies. Even though some of them no longer blog, Jana, Julie, SmrtMama, Farrar, and many other helped me find my way.
Now, I know better, but still browse homeschooling blogs to make sure I’m not missing out on anything I haven’t seen before. I do still plan the year, and I do still usually start in January. We take the month of December off – at least we try to. There’s almost always something that interferes with the plan (this year, it was illness) that forces us to play catch-up, but that’s okay – that’s partly why I plan that break. The time off gives me a couple of weeks to catch up anything we were lagging behind on, consider what’s working, what needs to change and come up with a new plan or figure out new material to replace it. I know that we’ll complete this ‘grade’ in the spring/summer and start the next ‘grade’ in the fall, so I plan to do another planning session in the fall, to refine and add new materials I come across during the course of the next six months. There are always new materials coming out, which makes planning difficult sometimes. Throughout the year, I keep notes and use Pinterest to keep track of things I want to look into later in the year. If you use it that way, don’t forget to go back through it and pull resources from your boards when you’re planning!
I usually have a pretty good idea of what we’re going to do for the year before I start, but I’ve also learned to value flexibility. If something isn’t working, I don’t waste time trying to force it. There are always other materials out there.
This year, we’re starting the One Year Adventure Novel for grammar. We’re doing other things as well, but that’s a new addition. Most of our plans from the fall remain the same, which is nice. Back when we started, I had grand ideas that didn’t work in our life, so things got switched up a lot. I don’t regret it, exactly; it was a huge learning curve and part of the journey that I think helped make this part run more smoothly. It also let me accept that flexibility is okay, and normal, and probably for the best, considering the many options and changes that happen during the year.
When I start planning, I look at several things. Take history, for example. This year, we need to work through the last half of Story of the World IV. We’re on schedule; my plan was to finish that in May-ish, and we’ll make that target. After that, we’ll be either between books, or can start with SOTW I again immediately. At this point, I think I want to take a couple of months and focus on geography, but I know that will play more of a role in our overall journey through the SOTW books this go-round, so we’ll have to see what happens when the time comes. In addition to the regular curriculum, we keep track of a timeline, we have our homeschool group’s social studies club each month, and will hopefully be adding actual travel to the kids’ experiences this coming year. Even though I can’t put those things on the books in exact dates, I know that’s what I want to accomplish this coming year.
I treat the other subjects similarly; I know if we’ve started, where we’re at and what needs to be done. If it’s new, and we’re starting in January, then we have the year to divide the lessons up. The One Year Adventure Novel curriculum is designed to be completed in 9 months, so by the time we break for the year at the end of November, we should be done. That’s about right, counting the various breaks we take through the year.
That brings me to another point – planning the actual school dates. I usually plan for 6 weeks of school, then a one-week break. That’s what we did originally, when we started, but it didn’t work. The kids were too young, I think, and I was too new and stressed. We amended it to 4 weeks of school and one week off, and that worked a lot better. As we’ve progressed, we’ve gone longer and had fewer breaks (or took 2 instead of one week)… depending on what we needed at the time. Regardless of how the actual breakdown of the year happens, I still always plan for a block of school, followed by a mini-break. This year, we’re on a 6-week on, one week off schedule. I also planned for a 2-week break in July, and for school to ‘end’ December 2, 2016. That’s roughly 190 days of school, not accounting for birthdays (which are holidays) or sick days (which we rarely have). That’s comparable to our local ISD’s school calendar, just spread a little differently.
The last part of my planning regimen is my planner, itself. You might say that’s the first part, even. I usually start working on designing my new planning ion November and try to have it completed and printed by mid-December at the latest. Because I also plan events for our homeschool group, I need to be able to see what’s going on months ahead of time. I also get the luxury of planning my kids’ lessons around whatever we have scheduled for the group, if I want to. For comparison sake, I took a couple of pictures of 2015’s planner (end of year) and 2016’s planner (brand new and *so* crisp!!):
I’ve made changes to my planner every year; last year, I discovered Passion Planner and so I added a page to every week. My weekly layout is 4 pages and I love it! I also added a pocket folder and tabs for the months so I can quickly and easily find my current week. I use both the monthly layout and the weekly/daily formats; this really is the center of my world. Whereas I used to keep my personal planner and my lesson planner separate, I’ve since learned the value in integrating them – everything is in one place and it’s lovely. I have blank, printable versions of my current planner, and every previous version of it, available for free, here. There are also a few other printable pages, including a student planner I designed, but the kids don’t use right now. Every year, I find little tweaks and things that work better, and that’s pretty neat to see. I keep all of my old planners, and it’s fun to look back through them.
If you’re at a loss, even a calendar from the dollar store can be effective; I found a video that a woman with small kiddos did on how she plans – not for homeschooling, but the idea was the same. With only a few supplies, she created a color-coded layout that worked for her family. Whatever you use, even a plain spiral notebook, can work! I know a few homeschooling families who don’t pre-plan; instead they write down what they accomplished at the end of the day or week.
Since this is the beginning of the year, I thought I’d share a progress picture – this was our first day of homeschooling way back in 2010, and a shot from this week:
How do you plan?
Happy New Year!
I was scrolling back through my blog to find last year’s resolutions and realized that somehow, I completely flaked and didn’t make a NYR post. It’s disappointed in myself; I’ve been blogging my NYRs since 2009 . I hate that I messed up my streak! Oh well; too late to cry over it now.
I was all set to write a new list and it occurred to me that there’s nothing that I want to accomplish this year that is different from what I wanted to accomplish in 2014. It’s a lot or ‘more of the same’. I don’t think that’s a bad thing; I like the goals I set for myself. Even last year, those were the same goals I was working on. Maybe that’s why I didn’t make a new list last year?
A couple of years ago, there was a trend towards coming up with a theme for the year. In 2014, mine was ‘onward and upward’. It fit, and I think I managed to meet that theme. I think that instead of writing NYRs this year, I’ll go with a theme for 2016.
I really like the term ‘mindfulness’. It’s one of my favorite words, and has been for a long time, especially when it comes to parenting or dealing with my kids. It’s something I am always struggling with. The HuffPo article has this to say on mindfulness as a theme:
Theme: Mindfulness. Many of us live in a constant state of distraction, due to our busy lives. But this relentless multitasking can take a toll on our health, as well as our overall quality of life. Research has linked mindfulness with many beneficial outcomes, such as being able to curb overeating, experiencing less stress and anxiety, and even helping with chronic conditions such as fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. Mindfulness simply means paying attention to the present moment. We can practice this in many ways — taking time to notice the taste of our food when we eat, pausing to focus entirely on a child during conversation, or purposefully enjoying the feeling while taking a brisk walk are all acts of mindfulness.
I definitely live ‘in a constant state of distraction’… maybe that’s not exactly accurate – more like hyper-focused on whatever I am doing; often to the exclusion of things going on around me. Mindfulness in this context would mean setting aside time for each task, and not letting my focus exceed the time frame I designate and eat into time set aside for other things. I am also very guilty of doing one thing, but thinking about what comes next. Days will sometimes go by when I am constantly focused on what’s coming up, rather than enjoying what I am in the middle of.
That said, I can think of a few things I want to accomplish in this vein:
- meditation – I practice on my own, but I really would like to make it part of my week to go to the group sit at St. Mark’s. They meet twice a week; I want to make at least one of them.
- simplify – KonMari! I want to clear out things that don’t make me happy, from possessions to wardrobe to household goods
- health – movement and community – walking with playgroup; with the kids; family health; focus on cleaner eating
- relationships – tend those I care about and cut loose those I don’t
I think that’s a good plan.
At the end of my NYR post, I usually copy and re-cap the previous year. Since I didn’t do one for 2015, we’ll pretend that they just carried over.
1.) Food – Join the local produce co-op; cook with more fresh (and unusual) foods. Be more open to trying new recipes, including gluten free, vegan, vegetarian and other diverse styles. We’ve been in a rut food-wise and I am ready to get out of it! Also – freezer meals. I’m feeling freezer meals in 2014. – DONE! I am still part of the co-op, and have been using Pinterest to find and make new recipes. We’ve had a few mishaps, but overall, it’s been good!
2.) Home Improvement – this is an on-going thing. We’re planning for a new roof in the spring, and hopefully the kids’ rooms will be finished this year (again). DONE! (mostly) – New roof was done, and PeaGreen’s room was totally gutted and re-done. In the Spring, we’re planning to repaint LBB’s room and possibly put in central air and heat.
3.) Health & Fitness – Rather than put pressure on myself again for a specific belt goal, I am going to plan on karate 2x per week, and biking or walking/running 2 miles per week. I also want to do two 5k’s this year. More would be great, but at least those two. I said one last year, and didn’t do it, so TWO this year! (Maybe even 3!) Yeah… this is going to have to carry over to 2016. I do plan on going back to karate at some point, hopefully this year.
4.) Kids – They’re really growing up now! I’d love for a family vacation to be on the menu this year (even if it’s a camping trip or weekend in Houston, Galveston or San Antonio). I really want to start bigger art projects with them. They’re always interested in my art, so I want to get them set up in collaborative projects with me, and with others. – Unfortunately, I have a bunch of homebodies… so travel is still on the menu, but we’ve spent lots of family time hanging out at home. We’ve been trying to do game nights and movie nights together, which is fun.
5.) Husband – Date Nights are always in the plan! I’d like to put into use some of the things I’ve Pinned on my board for dates or sweet things to do for him. Mini-break would be just heavenly!! DONE – maybe not every month, but more often this year for sure. Now that the kids are older, we can go out without having to worry about finding a babysitter, especially for just dinner or something. There are definitely perks to having older kids! We took a mini-break away from the kids for a weekend away – we went to the Texas Renaissance Festival for Pirate Weekend. That was a lot of fun and I want to plan on doing it again this year!
6.) Myself – Art Classes; Journalistas, Mom’s Night Outs… all of this and more on a regular basis! Writing workshop – if I can find one, go to it! Write, write, WRITE. Also, wanting to get back into painting this year. Even if it’s Painting with a Twist! DONE!! I did a month long index card art challenge, made affirmation cards for myself (as part of that), have been journaling and painting and joined my local NaNoWriMo group. Even though the event is over the group still meets every week. I’ve been making and meeting most of my specific writing goals, which is very satisfying!
7.) Extended Family – Visit my parents more, continue working on family history/genealogy research. Maybe plan a big family reunion. DONE! No family reunion, but my siblings and I have been doing family dinners about every 6 weeks or so. I also started working on family history again and my sister and I have plans to work together on it this coming year.
8.) Community – We’re Spiral Scouting this year, in addition to our regular community service work that we do through school. That will lend the kids even more opportunities to help out on a larger basis. We’re already signed up for a river clean-up and plan to pitch in on a creek clean up as well. Done, but not through Spiral Scouts. We let our charter lapse due to a lack of community support, so we found other ways to fulfill this.
9.) Work – Finish my BFUSA cert., start looking into pre-req.s for school (for me!). Done and done!
Not too shabby, if I do say so myself! Let’s hope my re-cap for this year looks as good or better!