Top Ten Homeschoool ‘Must-Haves’
One of the groups I am in on Facebook joked about getting a new table and chair set for her homeschool room, at her request, for a combo birthday/Mother’s Day prezzie. Naturally, that made me start thinking about the things that I ‘must have’ as a homeschool parent and thought I would post about it.
In anything we do (sports specifically come to mind), it seems that there is a list of requisite supplies that you need in order to successfully compete or carry out the task at hand. Obviously, when you’re homeschooling, you have to have things like curriculum (or some sort of plan, even if you’re unschooling). A dedicated school room, while nice, is certainly not necessary; school can be just as well accomplished at the kitchen table or on the floor (or in the yard, in the car, at the library, at the park… you get the idea). So this list isn’t about the typical ‘basics’ – this is all about what I, personally, have found to be indispensable for homeschooling in our house. Your mileage may vary, and I would love to see your lists in comments or a link back to your blog if you write it there!
So without further adieu….
10. Coffee – without caffeine, nothing would ever get done. I an convinced that the pyramids were built *because* they had coffee running in their veins instead of blood. Though almost any kind will do, my very most favoritest combination is Texas Pecan coffee from HEB with Coffeemate Italian Sweet Creme non-dairy creamer. If you get coffee at my house, this is probably what I am serving you.
9. External hard drive – I have a Passport 500GB one (in fabulous red), and it’s almost full. When I got it, it was much more expensive – if you’re in the market and have the extra $20, I say go for the 1TB, minimum. Over the course of your child’s homeschool career, esp if you’re starting out homeschooling from the beginning, you’ll use it. I archive everything (in multiple places, really), and frequently. Computers come and go – I can’t tell you how many friends have lost *everything* because they didn’t back-up regularly. If you’re not already, PLEASE back your stuff up!
8. support system – We’re especially fortunate to have a supportive family. Not only Loverly Husband, but my parents and his as well. I was homeschooled, and so were several of my cousins, so I am lucky to have this kind of supportive platform to spring from. However, even with that built-in support, having a supportive community around me has been and remains essential to my homeschooling success. Not only for the ‘hey we’re having a crappy day’ support, but for the inspiration, the ideas, the encouragement, the thought-processing…. the list goes on. My homeschooling ‘community’ is in parts – real life, which includes family and friends (who do and who don’t homeschool), which includes my local homeschool group; and online support. I am a part of our local group’s chat list (and the kids have their own online chat list through the group as well). I also frequent homeschool forums, blogs, websites, and watchdog sites to keep abreast of the goings-on in the homeschool world at large.
7. Gallon-sized ziplock freezer bags – this is an organizational tool for me. I store lapbooks-in-progress in them. A gallon-sized bag holds the folded lapbook, all of the papers and templates and mini-books and the source material (literature selection, guide, and/or other assorted papers) all together in one place. It may not seem like a big deal, but if you’re into lapbooks, they’re indispensable.
6. storage clipboards - This many seem like a luxury item, and it is… this whole list kinda is, really. But this feels especially indulgent. We school ‘on the go’ quite a bit and my kids are notorious for losing their work. I usually keep things in folders (and what’s not 3-ring’d into place is stapled in), but these clipboards make storage and pencil-toting easy and all-contained. We have several of them and they get a good workout!
5. My blog – I have this on the list because I am a chronicler and I mean that it’s important for me to write, NOT that I think my blog is an essential for the world at large. By ‘chronicler’, I mean that when my kids were babies, I religiously kept up their baby books. When they started school, I kept papers, then at the end of the year, I culled, but still managed to keep a respectable overview of their school year. Now that we’re homeschooling, the days tend to blend together without some sort of narration. My blog allows me to do that in an unobtrusive manner. Sure, Facebook chronicles, and with ‘timeline’ even more so, but it’s not search-friendly. With blogging, I can chronicle what we did that day, or over the week or month or season. Tagging allows me to easily find posts on lesson planning or gardening or whatever, so I can usually fond things I am looking for. And one day, my kids will be able to go back and review their homeschool career (hopefully with fond memories).
4. Swingline 747 stapler - the big daddy, old-fashioned metal one. Not the plastic one. I staple everything, especially loose worksheets or bits of paper into the kids’ folders that would otherwise be in an easy-to-fall-out-of pocket. I have been known to threaten stapling my kids’ work to their foreheads if they don’t sit down and get finished. If that threat ever came to fruition, I have no doubt that my Swingline 747 would totally get the job done. You can get it in red (a la Office Space), but mine is a big, sexy black beast and I love it so much.
3. laser printer & cheap toner - I started homeschooling with an inkjet. It was serviceable, but ink was spendy and when I started using refill kits (which worked for a while), I ended up with cartridge recognition errors. Plus, I could drain an ink cartridge in a week. I don’t print an extraordinary amount (mostly lapbooks), but when I sit down to print, I do a lot at once. We replaced the inkjet with a wireless laser printer about a year and a half ago and OMG = <3. I get my toner through amazon, and though I have had some issues (most easily resolved/replaced), being able to print over 1,000 pages per cartridge is muy bueno. I use cheap toner because of the volume I print. If I were printing for business or something that needed to be pristine, cheap toner may not work best, but for my printing needs now, it’s worth it.
2. Homeschool Planner – this is the end-all-be-all of homeschooling must-haves for me. Without it, I would be utterly lost. It’s my schedule and daily ‘to-do’ list, and also serves as a reference when I go to put grades into the computer. I have a weekly plan and a daily plan, and when I need to find something we’ve done, it’s in the planner. I keep track of field trips, notes for our homeschool group’s blog, contacts that I have made in the homeschooling community… not to mention other personal information. All of my appointments are on the calendar, shopping lists, meal plans, birthdays… I literally LIVE by what’s in the planner. The one I use is here, blank and free to download.
and the number one thing I cannot live without… drumroll, please:
1. electric pencil sharpener – and I am not talking battery-powered. I mean one of those ugly, old-school, plug into the wall types that will sharpen a TREE. I cannot tell you how many pencils we go through. Let’s just say that I am pretty sure we’re contributing to global de-forestation. We’ve tried mechanicals, and I love them for myself (Papermate Sharpwriters are my personal fav), but for the kids, they go through them too quickly. We’ve had the Westcott iPoint Kleenearth Evolution Recycled Electric Pencil Sharpener for about a year now and it’s not let us down yet.
That may seem like a silly thing to have as the number one, but everything else has an alternative which, while not quite as good, is serviceable. The pencil sharpener though… I’d die and/or kill someone if I had to sharpen a thousand pencils a day with a handheld.
So, what’s your ‘top ten’?
Warmly,
~h
New Years’ Resolutions: 2013
If you’ve been fluttering around in my world over the last few years, then you’ll be thrilled to know that my annual tradition of writing NYR’s, and re-capping previous year’s resolutions is still in effect.
If you’re new here, then consider that your crash course in how I do NYRs.
Before I get started, I’d like to say that writing NYRs is a tradition that I am quite fond of. I don’t necessarily write them to break bad habits; I view the practice as more of a goal-setting session for the coming year.
The religion that I was raised in forbade the making of NYRs, based on some such nonsense that I can’t even remember anymore… suffice it to say that whatever the history of the practice, the reason that *I* make them is because the beginning of a new year feels like a natural time to set goals. The marking of a years’ time is a good way to mark progress… and it’s fun. I didn’t get to do the ritual growing up, which is probably one of the reasons I enjoy it so much now.
Moving on then…
2013 Resulutions:
- Complete ‘Wreck this Journal’, and keep up with the Art Journalistas group on Facebook. (It’s a secret group; one for my IRL friends and I to post pictures and progress and meet up to browse each others’ books. We’re starting in January.)
- repaint living room & kids’ rooms (also includes new beds in their rooms, decor and the like)
- spend more time with Grandmama & Mom & Dad (My mom had a stroke this past year, and it really pointed out how little time we spend together. Plus, my grandmother’s sister died a few weeks ago – her younger sister – which really brought home how much time she may have left. Making more time to visit with my family needs to be a priority this year.)
- Harry Potter Marathon. I’ve talked about it many times… now is the time. ALL of the movies – one weekend.
- Karate: keep on keepin’ on. I’d like to be a green belt (or maybe even blue!) by the end of the year… though I am not the one who has the final say in whether or not I get to test; still, I plan on working hard, and I think that green is doable over the next 12 months. I also want to learn the Dojo Kun in Japanese. Also included in this res is going to be general health/fitness goals. More HAES, less sighing over a flat stomach.
- Submit at least one writing project for publication (AnnA – gonna need your help on this). I also want to work on establishing and maintaining a regular writing schedule this year, and collaborate more with AnnA (my amazing writing partner – click her name above and read her blog!). Also, check out the local writer’s guild group again. I tried it a while back and it wasn’t my cuppa; it’s been a while though, so maybe fresh meat?
- Date Night with Loverly Husband at least 1x each month. we did really well on this a while back, but have gotten away from it and it shows, so back onto the list it goes. Up this week: Django Unchained. At some point this coming year, I also want to take a mini-break, just the two of us. San Antonio or Dallas, maybe.
- Family Vacation – we so very much need to do this. We’re in better financial shape that ever before, so maybe this is doable this year.
- Run a 5K… or walk a 5K. I really want to do a Color Run and/or a Tough Mudder…. or a Zombie Walk… or a Flash Mob. Something along those lines. We have friends who are into 5Ks as a family and it looks like fun. I’d love to get the kids involved in something like that.
Here endeth the Resolutions. As always, nine only (not ten, or eight or five or three – NINE. Because that’s the way how I roll {which is not a typo; that’s how my kids used to say it and I am posting it here so that I don’t forget it}).
And now for the updates!!
2012′s NYRs (posted December 28, 2011)
1. Home Blessing – this has been my first resolution for a couple of years now. It’s an on-going thing and I am wondering now how long it needs to be an actual resolution since it doesn’t seem like it’s completely accomplishable. There is always something else to do that falls under this category… in any case, this encompasses all de-cluttering and home improvement type activities from resolutions past. This year’s actual targets are the master bath and kids’ rooms: painting and decor.
UPDATE: I left off the ‘major’ home blessing resolution for 2013 because we’ve made a lot of progress in 2012, and now need to be more specific. Over the past year, we moved our bedroom to the spare room, opened up the second bathroom, moved the boys into their own rooms, repainted and re-applianced the kitchen (new table, new fridge, new dishwasher, new microwave, and the all-important new coffeepot). I’m looking forward to working on the living room and kids’ rooms this year!
2. Medication: get them filled, on time; stay on them. I seem to go through phases where I feel good and stop taking them, then need them again, but fight the need and so things deteriorate until it’s apparent that I am truly effed up and require them. So… keeping them filled and myself stable will circumvent this whole scenario. FYI, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and last month was prescribed an anti-anxiety medication as well. It’s helping. I also take thyroid medication, asthma, and allergy medications daily.
UPDATE: This is an ever-lasting battle. Right now, I am only taking asthma and allergy meds, because breathing is important. I am taking a break from the anxiety meds, and I actually seem to have less anxiety overall… but depression is still an issue. So, it’s back to the doctor, I go.
3. Plan and take a family vacation. As the kids get older and wrapped up in their own interests, Loverly Husband and I actually get quite a bit of time to ourselves these days. That trend will only continue as the kids age, and I think that the focus needs to shift to keeping them focused on the family. A family vacation before they get too old and too ‘cool’ to enjoy it would be nice.
UPDATE: Negative, Ghost Rider. We didn’t do a big vacation this year; we never have, really. It’s back on the list for this year.
4. Get back to kid-friendly exercise. We slacked a lot on this in 2011. I want to get back to being outdoorsy even if it means just me and the kids by ourselves. Hiking, biking, swimming, beach – all that and more are on the books for 2012.
UPDATE: Yes! We hit the beach a ton this summer, and though we didn’t hike as much as I would have liked, we did FINALLY make it out to the swim area at Village Creek – more than once. Also, karate 3x a week for basically this entire year *totally* counts*! I am calling this one successfully met, and look forward to continuing in this vein in 2013.
5. Forage/Raw Foods Week: Loverly Husband’s idea is to take a couple of weeks and instead of doing our normal grocery-shopping routine, buy only foods that can be prepared or consumed without cooking. I’m open to it, and doing something like this with him on board will be much easier than trying to do it with him kicking and screaming. Since it’s his idea, it’s going on the list for this year.
UPDATE: Done! We did raw foods and 90% vegetarian for about 3 weeks in 2012. A friend of mine (the lovely Miss Mamie) has been doing raw foods for a couple of months now and is absolutely inspirational. I’m considering trying for a month in 2013.
6. Fashionista: this is going to encompass my hair/nails and wardrobe. I need to keep up with my hair, I want to get my nails done (and keep them done) and update my wardrobe in the coming year. Hopefully the ‘kid-friendly exercise’ resolution up there will help necessitate the actual need for new clothing… one can hope, right?
UPDATE: Meh… I am considering this one half-way met. My nails are done, and have been done since October, and my hair has been in various stages of color since then as well. Currently, nails are black-tipped French manicured and hair is purple in the front (well, faded to blue and is in desperate need of a root job). New clothes? Not so much… I hate clothes shopping, and I love black… so anything new I buy just adds to the already exhaustive selection of black clothing I already possess. I need new jeans though.
7. Figure out Container Gardening: This year will be our third attempt at a garden. I want to do an herb garden indoors and a veggie garden outside. I’d also like to do a couple of fruit trees (a cherry tree??). I need to read up on them and decide where and when to start them. It’s part of our homeschool science class, so the kids can help, too.
UPDATE: Another half-met goal. We did container gardening (and my rosemary is STILL ALIVE! Muah-ha-ha-ha)… I learned that next year’s garden needs to go off my front porch or in bigger containers. We have no roof over our porch, so the shallow containers we were using basically took the heat of the sun and the heat form the concrete of the porch and fried my plants… so lesson learned. Next year’s garden will be the best yet! Maybe straw-bales?
8. Post my art journals to DeviantART. I have an account and pictures of my journals, I need to either put them in a video or post the pictures.
UPDATE: Ha! I posted ONE picture of ONE page… that is all. I need to do this.
9. Complete at least one writing project. Any of them. At least one.
UPDATE: Aaaaaannnd again with the no.
Normally, this is the space where I would post resolutions from previous years and update them as well… and after a little thought, I decided that I like that tradition, because it puts all of my goals (past and present) in one place. It makes for a hella long post, but since it’s my party, I can post if I want to {wink}. Feel free to move on!
2011′s Resolutions (originally posted December 29, 2010) & updates:
1: Home Blessing - this has been on the books for a while, and will finally see real progress this year. This resolution encompasses all the de-cluttering/cleaning goals from years past and includes anything related to making our home a nicer place to live in. We’re planning a major re-decorating/face-lift to our house in the spring, including painting inside and out, switching our bedroom into the master bedroom (which is currently doing time as a storage/library/craft room) and putting the boys in their own bedrooms. We’ll also do some appliance upgrades and redecorate. I’m excited!! – update: We completed repainting the outside of the house, and our bedroom is moved and decorated. That took a lot more money than we’d planned on, so the rest of the renovations will be carried over to this year. I’m not displeased with our progress – it’s part of home ownership, which I am grateful for. 2013: see #2 above.
2: Teach the boys to cook. SFK was bragging about her 9-year-old dd making a four-course meal; I’m jealous and so shall attempt to teach the boys more about the culinary arts this year. The goal is to have them make at least one full meal each by… December 1st. That should give me plenty of time.update: meh. Cooking, yes. Full meal, no. They have gotten pretty good at making simple things – following recipes and using the stove. That’s more from efforts of their own than me actively teaching them, but I am not displeased with that, either. I find that as much as I dislike cooking, I dislike for the children to be underfoot while I am cooking even more. Based on this year’s progress, I can surmise that their continued experimentation and learning in the kitchen will continue with or without my help. 2013: Last year’s presumption is correct; the children have continued to experiment on their own. They can use the stove and oven, and though I still haven’t turned them loose in the kitchen with the task of making dinner, I anticipate that they’re ready for that sort of assignment and plan to make that happen sometime this year. We may even plan out a dinner for them to make on their own (but that’s a little ambitious, so don’t count on it).
3: Attend a Writer’s Conference/Workshop (or a homeschooling one). Both would be ideal, but attendance at one or the other will fulfill this one. This is a re-hash of a previous resolution; before it was ‘attend monthly group meetings’. I think that the monthly group would be good to do, too, but I really want to try for a conference or workshop that is more in my field (so romance or sci-fi/fantasy or para-normal romance. And no, you can’t read them…yet). update: nope; I didn’t do either. I DID, however, work on a couple of my stories and stared a new writing project with one of my BFF’s, AnnA of TheEverydayAlchemist. We have weekly Skype dates to collaborate and toss some encouragement for our individual projects around… and just because we’re more awesome when we’re together and need to be reminded of that often. 2013: I’d seriously LOVE to make a conference happen at some point this year, but in lieu of that, AnnA and I have tentatively planned a weekend retreat in NOLA at some point mid-year to write, write, write. I sincerely hope that the stars align appropriately to make that happen, because I want it SO BAD.
4: Try veganism on for a week. I’ve tried vegetarianism on (it doesn’t fit), but never veganism. It’ll be a challenge. update: HA! I say. I didn’t do this at all. In fact, I did the polar opposite of this – going all meat for a few weeks. I tried the Atkins diet for about three weeks – it sucks; I don’t recommend it. Maybe in 2012? Loverly Husband has mentioned trying a meal plan that consists of keeping only raw foods in the house and ‘foraging’ so maybe something like that would be more attainable since I’d have his support. 2013: This year, I met the lovely vegan/Greyhound-loving Sabrina, and have had more of an inside look at veganism. Since her son is my son’s BFF, that means that my boys are exposed to vegan meals, and even have taken it upon themselves to learn about what is and is not vegan so that when thier friend comes to our house, we can feed him appropriately (though S makes it super easy by sending food)… but still… knowing them and seeing vegan in-action, so to speak, makes giving it a more serious try this year an attainable goal.
5: Personal Growth. This is the one that I am lumping the rest of my writing goals and all of my health/weight loss goals into, as well as parenting goals (such as putting into practice/deeper study of NVC). I always have a couple of these listed, and I think it’s kinda cheating to have 4 of the same, on-going goals… so. I’m also putting things like: continue meeting meditation and spiritual goals, making time for ‘me’, blogging/writing something daily, etc. Some friends and I are re-committing to SparkPeople.com for this year (so if you wanna join me, come on!). I have many goals in that particular department, but I blog there too, so that’s where most of that goes. update: Meh… I’m giving this a 75%. Some of this has been met and surpassed, other parts of it have been seen to but not quite as well as I’d like. See this year’s NYR’s for an updated and possibly more specific list of goals. I have posted parts 1-6 of 13 from the NVC book here on my blog with plans to continue this year. 2013: We had to give up on NVC. I am a sarcastic bitch and NVC can be used as a weapon just as much as other words… more so, even, because it can be uber-manipulative. Maybe I just don’t care enough and/or am a horrible person, but I hate people prying into my feelings almost as much as I hate delving into other people’s feelings… so that got shelved. We have, however, worked on other aspects of communication that are effective for my (and my kids’) personalities. Even Loverly Husband has gotten on-board, and with all of us working together, it’s much easier. I also have to say that proper medication plays a role here, for me, at least. As much as my mother hates for me to say it, I have a mental disorder that I will forever need to take medication to effectively manage. Managing my illness makes me better able to manage other areas of my life. As far as health/weight is concerned, I ahve long been under the impression that the two go hand in hand, and they may, to some extent. However, I am/ have been getting regular exercise for the better part of the last year, and have been building stamina and muscle. I’m damn proud of that, even if my pants size has stayed the same.
6: Date Night with Loverly Husband at least 1x per month. We used to do this at least that often, but this year, it seems like that’s taken a backseat. Between homeschooling and him working more, it’s been harder to find time to go out. It’s not a ‘problem’, but I’d rather focus on this now, before it becomes a problem. One the plus side, we did get a mini-break in 2010, with plans for another in a couple of months. Yay!! update: We didn’t stick to this plan… nor did we get to have a mini-break without the kiddos. We spent our money on house stuff, which was good, and as the kids are getting older and more wrapped up in their own interests, we do get more time together. I think this year’s more family-focused goal is more necessary as the kids get older. 2013: We actually did get a mini-break this year; Loverly Husband and I went with my brother and SIL to the Texas Renaissance Festival for the weekend. I was sick the whole time though, so it might not count {wink}. I put monthly date nights back on the agenda for this year, but I agree with more family-fun as well. LH and I have a plan to sit down and plan some togetherness activities for this year – soon, before the calendar gets too full.
7: Dye my hair. Note to self: For the love of all that is salon, please visit the beauty supply shop and DO SOMETHING about your hair!!!! It’s been months – MONTHS – since you’ve put color in it. You have 6 inches of natural hair color. WTF?? That’s simply unacceptable. One cannot remain worthy of the moniker ‘Rainbow Brite’ with one’s natural hair color slapping people in the face. Before the month of January is out, you must fix this! And keep it fixed. All year. update: for the most part, yes. I haven’t had roots beyond an inch or so and have kept dye on-hand most of the year. Go me! 2013: Again, yes… (even though I need color at the ‘mo). Next week, scout’s honor!
8: Plan for lunch out better. When the kids were little, I had food for them on me all. the. time. I breastfed them for 3 years each, and I believe that had an effect on how they eat now. They’ve always eaten frequent small meals throughout the day; with no big meals and no set times, that meant that as an in-tune mama I needed to keep food in the bag so that I could meet their needs. When they started school, they had to adjust to a more common eating schedule and I got out of the habit of keeping food with us. Since we started homeschooling, they’ve fallen back into their normal eating patterns but I have not. So my goal for this year is to plan for food better – packing a cooler with appropriate small meals and snacks when we go out. This will help me with #5 as well. update: pretty much met for the first part of the year, then sort of slacked off as the year wound down. We did Bento lunches for months, then were home a lot and I slacked off on making them. I do prefer Bentos and so do the kids, so we’re going to work on getting back to that on a regular basis again. 2013: We had a really good stretch where we didn’t do fast food at all, then it gradually started creeping back in. I need to work on eliminating fast food again. Bentos are still the lunch of choice, I just need to get back to planning for them better.
9: Do something about my wardrobe. I am putting this one separate from the ‘home blessing’ because it’s not really about making space or de-cluttering (though that does play a part). I have a bunch of clothes that don’t fit (both too small and too large) and that are out-dated that I’ve held on to. It’s time to let go! I don’t necessarily need new clothes (though if certain portions of #5 are carried out, I may), but I would like for the clothes that are taking up my space to be ones that I like and wear.update: I did declutter my clothing! I am in need of some new pieces though (but don’t expect a rainbow of colors or anything; I am still *me*). I also did the kids’ clothing and Loverly Husband’s, so yay! 2013: I think this is under ‘Fashionista’ above… I do desperately need to go through the boys’ clothing again… drat them for growing up so fast!
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2010′s Resolutions and Progress Report: NYE’s Written on Jan. 2, 2010:
I’m going to include all the things that are in reference to “home blessing” from previous years, such as redecorating, de-cluttering and the like. It’s still in the plan, but it’s something that can be chipped away at slowly. There are a couple of specifics that I want to focus on like:-my office (switching our bedroom to the office and the office to our bedroom) and the redecorating that goes along with that.-the hallway bathroom (I’d really like to work on that this year)-decluttering and organizing (all over)**Semi-Accomplished** We actually lost the office when we started homeschooling. I do have to say that I’ve rocked the decluttering thing this year though. About twice a month, I take at least one bag of stuff to Goodwill and still have more to go. The switching didn’t happen, but will this year, and the bathroom also did not get attention (though I did paint in there). Everything will get a face-lift this year though… so yay!2012: ongoing – I think we’ll forever be decluttering and simplifying.2013: ongoing… but progress is definitely visible!
I want to go somewhere, just the two of us, with no kids, for a whole weekend. It’s been over 8 years since we’ve gone away for some time alone, so I think we’re due.**ACCOMPLISHED** We went with my brother and SIL to Galveston for a long weekend, and have plans to go to San Antonio this year. Yay!2012: we didn’t get to do this in 2011. I did get to go to Ren Faire for the weekend with The Girls though. Not the same thing.
2013: TX Ren Faire with Loverly Husband (as mentioned above)… but I was sick the whole time, so dosen’t count.
I really want to work on my stories/books/series this year. It’s once a month, on a Tuesday, and I think I need to make that a priority.**Semi-Accomplished** I went to a couple, then got lazy. The main problem is that half of the writers didn’t say much, and the other half were SO not in my field. I am going to try again for this year though. Writing is fun for me, and I owe it to myself to hone my craft, even if it is only a hobby. For now. This has been updated for 2011′s list.2012: That’s good advice, self. You should pay attention.2013: Ditto above, self. Look into the writer’s workshops again this year. It’s been a while; maybe there’s fresh meat?
Now that the boys are older and more active, it’s a little easier to plan excursions with fitness as a focus. We all have kids and I have a bike rack for the car, so I think that’s going to be something we do more of this year. The boys are also into skating, so we’re going to get back into that habit again, too.**ACCOMPLISHED** We’ve been hiking, biking, skating, swimming and Wii Fitted… and we’re continuing in this vein this year! Go me!!2012: suckage for 2011. It was insanely cold, then ridiculously hot and I’m being whiney and lazy. Better goals for this year!2013: Karate, baby! And the beach! And more of the same for this year!!
I have no idea how this will work since Loverly Husband is completely opposed to the idea, but I would like to try it. We already don’t have much TV time when school is in session (no TV in the mornings, and no TV until homework is done) so it’s not like we watch a ton of TV as it is, but I do know that my kids are much more imaginative when the TV is not there to influence them and I want to see more of that.**FAIL** Well, kinda. We actually don’t watch all that much TV. The boys are not allowed to watch TV or play video games on school days, so that’s the bulk of the week. The time they do have is squished between when ‘chores are done’ and ‘dinner’ so free-tv time is rare. Video games, however… they’re all about them and will spend as much time as allowed on them. We’ll be curtailing this come January 3rd.2012: We’ve actually enforced this a couple of times. The kids have been playing more video games, but they’ve had less ‘free’ days… so I think it evens out. We’re going to cut them back this year again though. More outside time!2013: I think we’re going to add this back to the list. With my mom’s hospitalization and recovery, the kids spent a lot of time being ‘out of the way’, which usually meant ‘in front of the tv/game’. I’m thinking that a strict ban on screen time might be a good thing, at least until a little more balance can be found.
Mom has TONS of pictures that I want and since she won’t part with them I need to make an effort this year to get them in digital format, both for preservation purposes and just to have.**FAIL** Yeah… not so much. I did get a fantastic external hard drive this year, so now I actually have space to put all those pictures. Maybe in 2011…2012: Because I don’t have enough of my own pictures to put on discs, I had to take on someone else’s photo-library?? What was I thinking?? I am retroactively striking this from the list.2013: YES!! That’s insane! It’s still a monumental task and I am annoyed with myself for having suggested that I should do this. Maybe I will get HER a scanner and external hard drive and show her how to do it.
We’re doing pretty well in this regard, so it’s not a major thing to have to ‘resolve’ to do, but I like having it on my list because it IS something we need to focus on. SO the plan is to continue adding money to our savings accounts, to the kids’ savings accounts (and college funds), and into our retirement. We’ve been talking about getting a new car this year, and aboutpainting the outside of the house and landscaping a bit, and it would be nice to follow through with those plans.** ACCOMPLISHED** We bought a new (to us) Honda Odyssey in April 2010, also bought our house in June. Loverly Husband took care of all the retirement plan financial stuff, so we’re doing well! The landscaping and painting are in the plans for the next couple of months.2012: Yep – Loverly Husband is still on top of this. Landscaping and home improvements are all still on the list as money becomes available.2013: More of the same… handing money makes me physically ill – more even now than in the past, so he handles all of that business. Landscaping will be on the menu once the inside is finished.
I really have missed arts and crafts. I’ve cut back on my “work and volunteering” schedule, so I am going to use the ‘extra’ time to do the things I enjoy. I want to do aglass project for the living room window, batik the curtains in the living room, make blackout curtains for our bedroom andthe boys’ room, re-cover the couch… among other things. Plus, I need to work on scrapbooking and having pictures from recent years printed. I also would like to work on drawing and painting.**ACCOMPLISHED** With multiple craft-days under my belt this year, and many crafty-projects with the kids, this is well done! Not these exact things, maybe; I made new curtains for the living room, decided not to cover the couch at all and blacked out my bedroom windows with foil and tape. Not as classy, maybe, but it’s hella-freaking-dark even at mid-day in there, so that’s done. The kids don’t want it to be that dark in their room…2012: Two words: ART JOURNALS. Love them and have been having SO much fun with them! Eventually, I’ll have them all loaded to my DeviantART account, but that hasn’t happened yet. I’ve also made several crafts projects for friends, so I’m definitely still feeling the craftstravaganza vibe and hope it continues.2013: I’ve actually added to my ‘work and volunteering’ schedule again this year, but I am determined not to let those commitments detract from my crafty time. My goal for this year is to work through Wreck this Journal, and I am doing it in a group… among other projects. DeviantART – yes… gotta do that.
I have a fairly decent foundation (not that I’m an expert or anything), but I’d like to learn more and utilize this more in day-to-day life.**ACCOMPLISHED** I’m not an expert by any means, but we’ve relied much less this past year on western medicine than we have in years past, and I know more about treating the underlying cause of something than simply masking symptoms, so I’d call this well done as well. I plan to continue educating myself, and am thankful to have several friends who are willing to share the knowledge!2012: Actually, it’s not ‘homeopathy’, it’s naturo-pathy that I like/use/meant. And yes; still into it.2013: Ditto… more-so even than last year. I’m all about it, baby!
2010: Ummm… yeah. So I have an obsessive-compulsive personality. “Stop obsessing” is like saying I’m planning on not breathing this year. FAIL.2011: no change.2012: added an anti-anxiety med to my anti-depressant meds… it’s nice so far; need to up the dose, I think, but I am definitely less stressed over minor nothings.2013: All hail anxiety medications! Best thing I ever did for myself. Even though I am currently in need to a visit to the Man in the Lab Coat, I recognize that many, many of my issues with ‘things’ have to do with my illness. Accepting that, admitting that, and working within that context has helped me so much.
2010: I’d say that this one is accomplished. Not in the sense that this is something that is ever “done” with, but I think it was something we worked on, not just for the kids, but for myself as well.2011: This is an ongoing exercise for us. Food affects me and the kids so much, and it’s a struggle to respect its power without obsessing or over-focusing on it.2012: ditto.2013: more of the same
2010: Well… this one got pushed aside this year. Between being pregnant for the first part of the year, and then grieving throughout the last half of the year, I am just glad I haven’t gained 20lbs. 5 is acceptable and easier to get rid of.2011: I’m back on the wagon, with some friends to help motivate and keep me accountable. We’ve already started, and are doing well!2012: meh. I’m working on it.2013: Suck it, skinny bitches. I am working on ‘health at any size’, and trying not to focus on weight.
2010: Eh… I didn’t do this, but it’s still the same ole thing I have been debating about since the beginning. Certification is nice to have, but not necessary and may be too limiting. BFF and I are planning goals for WMC on Monday, so we’ll re-hash this again and decide what we want to do about it.2011: I can pretty much cross this off my list. I’m not interested in being a doula anymore. I’ve also retired from LLL Leadership this year, so my attention is focused in other areas.2012: Same; I am happy volunteering with the Beaumont Breastfeeding Coalition when I can and/or the mood strikes with no further obligation.2013: Same; I’ve taken on a larger role for 2013 with the BBC; and plan to pursue formal lactation counselor certification this year.
2010: This is a mixture of yes and no… yes b/c I have definitely been downsizing, esp over the last couple of months, but the baby clothes and stuff I have kept and will keep as there may be a need for them at some point. We’re still kinda unclear on that point, too.2011: Ongoing… forever?2012: ditto…2013: ditto…
2010:… not so much. On any of that, actually.2011:Eh.. some of that got done, some didn’t in 2010. The mural is ever incomplete, but we’re painting everything in a couple of months, so it’s fine.2012: ongoing… home decor is much more expensive than I previously realized, but we have a plan. My bedroom is done; kids are up next.2013: Kids’ rooms and living room still on the menu, but now a reachable goal since the kitchen is done (except for the cabinets).
2010: …ditto.2011: Yeah… not so much. That last part is a big one since we’re losing our storage room in a couple of months!2012: Still working on some of this; not so much the scrapbooking thing – I’ve been art journaling, not srcapbooking. One day the mood will strike again and I will love it. Until then, it remains in storage. Plans to get the school room storage situation under control this year are underway.2013: Jesus, the frakkin holiday boxes are still a problem. I have a plan for them, but need Loverly Husband to install shelving over the washer and dryer… then the boxes can live there. Found the glue gun! It was in a box of craft stuff that I had packed to make personalized clothespin ornaments for a fundraiser for the kids’ school a few years ago. I actually found it last year, I think… it was packed up for a LONG time, lol. Scrapbooking… meh. I’m kinda over it. Art journals have taken up my time, and blogging documents the kids, so I don;t ‘need’ to scrapbook, really. Maybe one day when they’re older….
2010: DONE! We bought more gumballs. There are still some in the machine, too!
2011: Why aren’t all of my resolutions so simple and easy to accomplish?? I think I’ll start adding at least one challenge to my resolutions list. This year: be vegan for a week!
2012: this is a throw-away resolution. I am including at least one every year, I think.
2013: We got rid of the gumball machine, LOL Yay for de-cluttering!
2010: Yes and no – I did outlines for some of them and have started an outline for most of them.2011: I’ve really slacked on my fiction this year. I’ve blogged pretty faithfully though.. does that count?2012: While not exactly kicking ass, I have been slowly plodding away at my stories. Progress=progress, yes?2013: Added a few thousand words spread out across several stories just yesterday, after a coffee date with AnnA… with plans to continue this year.
2009: Yeah… we actually have been doing much better in the cash-flow department this year. I’m fairly proud of that, so I think I can call this one “accomplished” and we’ll say maintain this instead of making it a new resolution.2010: We did VERY well this year in this regard. I can say that we’re progressing nicely on this front. We eliminated credit cards a couple of years ago, so that’s a big hassle that we don’t have to mess with anymore. This year, we’re funneling more money into savings and retirement. I’m proud of that!2011: Loverly Husband took over all the budgeting of funds early in 2010, so… yay! He’s better at it than I am. We’re definitely in a better place financially now that we were back in 2007/8. It’s nice to be able to look back and see progress happening.2012: Loverly Husband is still Mr. Finance. I have less and less to do with money and I like it that way.2013: I am hands-free on the money department, and couldn’t be happier about it. Thanks to Loverly Husband’s awesome fiduciary skillz, we’re insured, we’re saving, we’re planning for retirement and the kids have savings accounts… it’s been a long road, and he’s been working hard to make our family’s finances are in order, and I am eternally grateful that I don’t have to worry with it.
2009: This is kind of a done deal (DONA) – but I’m making it an actual resolution so that when it’s done I can cross it off the list. Actually, I’m not doing TrustBirth at all – after thinking more about it, I decided it wasn’t for me. It’s not that I disagree with them, exactly, just that I am a little more open-minded about things. As for the birth doula cert, I am still working on it, and am actually doing DONA now instead of CBI, which was what I was looking at then. DONA is different, and either way, I need certain criteria to certify and I haven’t been as on top of it as I had planned. Can I blame part of this on Hurricanes Gustav and Ike?2010: see above.2011: Let me explain… I had all of my certification stuff done – all I needed to do was send it in and pay for it. I was waiting on BFF to get her breastfeeding education requirement done so we could submit our applications together, and got pregnant, then miscarried… Since then, I’ve decided that I don’t want to be a doula, and therefore see no reason to pay for the certification. So. That’s the what’s what on this.2012: ditto…2013: no change…
3) Keep my prescriptions filled and faithfully take my medicines daily … so that I don’t end up needing my rescue inhaler multiple times daily and end up on the nebulizer like I did 2 weeks ago.
2009: I suck at doing this. I HATE taking meds EVERY SINGLE DAY. It’s a huge hassle (and could it be any clearer that I am barely taking anything at all right now, which is why I am defensive about it?) I have kept up with asthma and allergy meds though, which is a good thing… so this is a “halfway” for me.2010: I STILL suck at this. Something about this time of year. I have not been keeping my Rx filled and have been using the neb for the last couple of weeks. Ugh.2011: Better this year… I’m off of some of them and need to refill others. This is going to be one of those on-going things for me, I think.2012: ongoing… new meds this year; anti-depressant & anti-anxiety. It’s helping. Now to stick with them.2013…. see above notes on medications and illness….
2009: Since I’m basically starting over again, and it’s on this year’s list, I guess didn’t keep this one either.2010: See above.2011: Ditto this year… I lost 80lbs the first go-round with SP, then my weight-loss plateaued and I got discouraged. I managed to keep it off for a while, then have, over the course of 3 or 4 years, have put back on about 30lbs. That sucks. So, along with a couple of friends, I’m re-committing myself. It’s in 2011′s #5.2012: *expletive deleted*2013: Skinny bitches can still suck it.
5) Wear hats more often because I like them.
2009: Ha! I SO didI bought, like 4 new hats and have worn them all. And they look awesome, if I do say so myself. Go me!
2010: I’m still keeping this one faithfully2011: ditto2012: chapeaux + NicCuinn = even more awesome as time goes by. This remains one of my favorite NYR’s.2013: Hats… yes and double yes. My favorite is a black fedora, but I also have a black newsboy style cap that I just love (but currently cannot find). I think I need a few more hats this year.
2009: Fleshing out already-written storylines? No. Adding all the newly thought-of concepts into word.docs? Yes! So another half-assed accomplishment on my part. I’m going to add “making an outline for all story concepts” above.2010: I have been feeling more creative lately and have started a couple of new concepts that need to be fleshed out. As long as I keep doing that, I am happy with this level of progress.2011:Yeah… homeschooling leaves very little time for writing fiction. That’s a total cop-out, but that’s my excuse for doing absolutely NO writing this year, fiction-wise. I did come up with a new non-fiction concept for a children’s book series, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten with it. I’m making notes on it now (like right this minute …. okay – I have an overview of the series written now) – so that’s something, at least, lol.2012: And Skying/collaborating with AnnA. Lots of it.2013: As previously explained, writing = yes, with AnnA.
2009: I guess I’m kind-of on the same page as last year with this. I got rid of a TON of crap over the past year, so this is another “maintaining” for me. I’ll leave it as above though, because I have more specific goals in mind for this year.2010: see above2011: ditto2012: ditto2013: ditto
2009: This has been a lot easier since both boys have been in school. So I guess I’ll mark that as an “accomplished” too.2010: I have been keeping this one.2011: Oh, I just thought I was busy before…homeschooling is possibly the biggest challenge I’ve undertaken yet. It requires almost constant thought and attention on my part. On the plus side, my Loverly Husband is incredibly supportive and has both encouraged and made it easy for me to go exercise with my sister or grab coffee with a friend in the evenings. My resolution for this year is to stop feeling guilty about it!2012: Yes – homeschooling time commitment is eternal. Coffee out and a weekend trip to Ren Faire with the girls this past year was amazing. Definitely on the list of traditions to continue. Also, meeting more personal spiritual nourishment goals has helped. Planning to continue in this vein.2013: 2012 was an AMAZING year for me, overall (barring a few unexpected happenings). Our school year went exceptionally well, I found a sport that I love (that also qualifies as ‘family time’), a spiritual study group that has become more like family, and a group of friends that is so full that I am starting to feel guilty about not having time to spend with any of them. I am truly blessed.
2009: The “three” isn’t the same three as it was when this was written, and I think that we’ve done pretty well. We’re well into our 2nd year, and with the Ike evacs and BFF’s birth, the last few months have been slow, but we’re gearing up for an eventful year with WMC. So this is another thing I think I can say “accomplished” on.2010: 2009 was rough on many fronts. I am hoping that 2010 will be a better year for WMC.2011: I’ve pretty much phased myself out of WMC. BFF is continuing with her own plans, including starting midwifery school in Jan 2011, and I will be involved as much as I can, but it’s pretty much her show now. My attention and focus is elsewhere these days, and though I miss being in the place in my life where WMC was my dream, I’m excited about what the future now holds, both for my BFF and WMC and for myself.2012: I miss being involved, but am so glad to see BFF continue meeting her goals. Also very glad to see WMC and the BBC flourish, if not quite in the ways we’d first envisioned. I am still proud to be part of the community of support for natural mothering in our area. My attention is still focused elsewhere, but my future goals are leaning in a similar direction – I’d like to go to school and work in counseling with new mothers and families once my kids are grown.2013: I have found it easier over the past year to start working myself back into the goings-on in the new mother community again. It was really hard for a long time, but it’s much better now. I actually enjoy talking to new moms again, and even holding the occasional babe (though I am quick to give them back when they start crying). I still plan to get into counseling, but that’s several years off yet; gotta get the boys into college first!
2012: nine has become the tradition. I see no reason to alter that now!2013: Nine is an awesome number
Warmly,
Is it Summer Break yet?
You know that I love homeschooling, right? But there are times, now being one of them, that I sometimes wish we did a more traditional school schedule. Why?
Two words: SUMMER VACATION.
Not that we don’t break regularly; our ‘normal’ schedule is 4 weeks of school, 1 week off. In the past, we did 6 weeks on/ 1 week off, and last year we did 4/1 all the way through the summer. This year, I adjusted our schedule so that we take a month off in the summer. unfortunately, it’s not for a few weeks yet. I’m ready for it now! {stomps foot} Still, the idea of a three-month long vacation sounds heavenly.
I think that my current want is due to the fact that yesterday, the kids got done with their work super fast and we spent the afternoon lazing about in the pool. The weather was Perfect™, the sun was bright; I brought my Nook and my iPod out there, so we had awesome music and I alternated between sun, water and shade for a good three hours. It was divine.
Today, it’s wet, rainy and a little bit cooler than it has been for the past few weeks – which is nice, don’t get me wrong. But I was just settling into the summer vibe. Now, I have to find a sweater.
In any case, we’ll be trucking along today – Fridays are spelling tests, geography, literature; and we’re working on our timeline & 2 lapbooks (science and history). I’ll have our gator lapbook posted in a bit as well.
Hope your Friday takes you into an awesome weekend!
Warmly,
~h
Educate the Children
All over Facebook recently, I’ve seen pictures with a topic, like ‘Stay at Home Mom‘ and ‘Home Birthing Parents‘, and ‘Doulas‘ with 6 pictures that reflect the different attitudes and perceptions of what the parents/people who subscribe to the beliefs of the topic are like. I looked around for one on homeschooling, but couldn’t find one, so I made one:
And I thought I’d write about how homeschooling (or homeschoolers) seem to be viewed by the outside world.
I think one of the main perceptions I get from local society is that I don’t fit in with their ideal of what a homeschooling mother ‘should’ look like. I don’t own a denim jumper, I only have 2 kids, and though I drive a mini-van, it’s just your average-sized grocery-getter (or chariot, as one of my friends lovingly describes the transportation of choice for busy families). That’s not true for all areas, of course, but here there are definitely more than a few denim-jumper/quiver-full families. If it’s not the denim dress uniform, then it’s khaki and twin-sets (the less-than-stylish around here call this brand of woman a ‘West End Wanda’); another group that belong not to. My standard uniform is a black tee-shirt, jeans and whichever shoes I feel like putting on (which can range from Doc Martens, to wedge heels, to flip flops, depending on the day’s activities), which puts me firmly in the ‘impostor’ – or worse, ‘secular’ – category, according to the homeschooling majority in my area.
Then you have homeschooling as portrayed in the media. Over and over, I’ve seen stories about how abusive homeschooling is, and/or that the only reason people homeschool is to indoctrinate their kids into religion. While I do know plenty of homeschoolers who do so for religious reasons, most don’t fall anywhere near that crazy tree. For most Christian homeschoolers, their goal is to raise their kids with their family’s values at the forefront, including the need and desire to be faithful ministers of their god. Though I disagree with that approach, I do understand it and think that it’s dishonest to link homeschooling – even if the primary goal is religious in nature – with abuse, neglect or other acts of parents who would find some other way to harm their kids if religion was taken out of the picture. Those people are mentally ill and that does not describe the vast majority of homeschooling parents.
Up next is the perception that teachers have of homeschoolers. This one also gets an unfair rap in my opinion. I think that this perception is perpetuated by children who, for whatever reason, go back into the classroom after homeschooling for a while. Many times, the child is classified as ‘behind’ when that’s only part of the picture. One of the main benefits of homeschooling is that you can tailor your child’s education to your individual child. In Texas, we’re not required to follow the school’s curriculum, so we have a lot of room to truly match what we’re teaching to where our child is at. We can also go about education in an entirely different manner (mastery-focused instead of covering X amount of material this week; or take history chronologically while the school starts with your family and branches out from there). We can use unconventional methods – from educational philosophy or theory to using non-standard materials or classroom environments. Since we don’t follow the same method and curriculum as classroom teachers, that means that there are areas where our child may be behind and there are usually also areas where our kids have a more well-rounded education than his classroom counterparts. But too often, it’s not the whole of education that shows, only the areas where your child is not ‘up to standards’ and thus, the myth continues.
After that, we come to how non-homeschooling people see homeschooling (not all of them, obviously – but some, certainly). I think that the perception (not necessarily of ‘me’, but of homeschooling parents in general) is that homeschooling parents see their kids as genius-level potential, and that with enough early learning and constant fact-drilling, it will be enough to bring that potential into reality. I know that I speak for plenty of homeschooling parents when I say that our kids don’t hold any more potential than yours, nor are they smarter than your kids. The difference is how we go about accessing that potential. Homeschooling, again, allows us to tailor every aspect of our child’s education to that child. Even if we have several children, we can adapt how or what they’re learning to address that specific child’s needs. If we have a child with ADHD, we can do spelling words or math while the child is on a trampoline or yoga ball. If we have a child who is a night owl, we can start our school hours later in the day (or even have school at night). If we have one child who prefers reading and another who is adept in math, we can cater to those strengths while taking the other subjects a little slower to ensure that the foundation is solid before moving on. Give any student that level of personal attention and you’re going to get better results.
Next, there’s my perception. Since the comic is not my own creation and yet I identify with it wholeheartedly, I dare say that other homeschooling mothers feel similarly at least part of the time. If the text is too small, it reads, ’5 minutes after Mindy died trying, Brice finally understood fractions‘. It seems like there are days, especially when we start something new, that I explain and explain and explain and yet still it seems like nothing gets through. We’ve been doing this for over 2 years now, and I can see the pattern… all the sudden, one day it clicks. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, but it’s happened over and over again. Then we start something new; rinse, repeat. As frustrating as it is to get the idea through my kids’ head that they’re learning something – they’re not experts yet and mistakes are okay; expected, even – the poor dears are blessed with enough aspects of my personality to ensure that failure is a big deal. They’d rather not do it at all than fail. But the other side of the coin is the gratification and exhilaration on their faces when they do finally get it and can do it like a pro.
Then there’s the reality of what it is that I, and homeschooling parents all over the world like me, actually do, and that is educate our children. We’re not experts, we’re not perfect. We have good days and bad, ups and downs and yes, there are days when we want to throw in the towel. It’s not about being superior or thinking we’re better or can do a better job than you; we don’t homeschool to judge you or your educational choices. In fact, we don’t care one bit what you do with your kids; we’re too busy doing stuff with our own kids.
The long and the short of it is that homeschooling parents come in a variety of packages, and no two are exactly similar. Now that I think about it, I’m may have a tee-shirt made that says ‘Homeschooler: Contents May Vary‘ to wear when we’re out and about. Like non-homeschooling parents, we do the things we think are best for our kids. Any contentious parent homeschools with genuine intent, and with their children’s best interests at the forefront of their lives. They’re not abusive, they’re not fanatics; they’re just regular people who feel like homeschooling is the best educational path for their kids. We’re not raising geniuses; we don’t think our kids are prodigies, but neither do we let them bum around all the time without seeing to their education. Our methods may look lackadaisical to you, but until you live in our home and see what we do, how we do it and what the results are, then we respectfully suggest that you keep your nose occupied elsewhere. We’re human; we get frustrated just like anyone would, but we’re also in a unique position of seeing our child’s mind expand on a daily basis – and taking pride on the role that we play in helping them learn.
Even with all our differences, homeschooling parents have one goal: educate the children.
Warmly,
~h
Photo credits:
homeschooling family: http://www.recycledpolyfurniture.com/about.php
religious indoctrination as child abuse: http://jesusmustbestopped.blogspot.com/2011/08/childhood-religious-indoctrination.html
kids playing video games: http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/822769/are-your-kids-addicted-to-video-games
reading baby: http://ladyhazard.tumblr.com/post/372126132/aashawn-cristina-awesome-reading-baby-im
Mindy comic ( (c)Todd Wilson): http://extrememakeover-homeschooledition.blogspot.com/2011/07/year-two.html
Homeschool outside: http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeschooling/2011/03/how-long-will-you-homeschool-your-children/
Three Weeks Down Already?
Oh, Dwight… you do have such a way with words.
I was going to make a comment about time flying by, but then I found that picture and got distracted by fun stuff from The Office. ‘Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica.‘ There’s even a tee shirt.*So* funny.
Anywhoo…
We’re three weeks into our new school year. How did that happen? Didn’t we just get done with Christmas? I am shocked and amazed – we’re only four days out from our first break this year and everyone is alive and well. As stressed out as our last few weeks of school were last year, I am exceedingly happy to report that this year is off to a very nice start. I’ve also lost 12 lbs. of 128 lbs. since Christmas, so I’m a pretty happy camper all around.
We’re still doing our crazy schedule – the kids have karate 2 evenings per week and on Saturdays, and I am training to be an NSO with our local roller derby team. My sister is a rollergirl; she’s been after me to come play but seeing as how I am an utter disaster on skates, I think it’s best that I keep my involvement firmly planted on the ground. Being a non-skating official lets me participate without risking my tailbone. In any case, practice is one night per week. If we weren’t enjoying it so much, I’d complain about being over-scheduled, but so far it’s working well.
Plans for this week include attending a performance by our local symphony, attending a half-day full of JASON presentations at our local college, learning about Groundhog’s Day and the history of (which are Candlemas and Imboc), and various crafting and lapbooking associated with, and working on solidifying those pesky multiplication facts. I found a video that uses your hands for quickly figuring out 6×6 – 10×10 facts, and a way to do ‘short’ division (because long division is absolutely killing LBB). I started arrays with PeaGreen, but he’s not so keen on them, so I will be looking for other ways to help him with his times tables (maybe Mr. Numbers?).
We’ll be winding up the week, and the first four weeks of school on Friday with a review of what all we’ve covered so far and a look at what we may want to change. I like my new lesson planner layout; the boxes for individual subjects are smaller, but they look *super* full when I write in them now, so it’s quite visually appealing. I’m still kinda disorganized off of paper, but on paper, I’m the bomb-diggety. We’re still using workbox plans, but I haven’t been packing the boxes like I was. We’ve been using a file box with hanging folders instead of actual boxes, but the boys say that they like the boxes better so we may work on going back to that here in the next few weeks. I’ll have to work on space though; the school room is crazy cluttered right now (we’re working at the kitchen table as I type). Luckily, tax season is right around the corner, so we’ll be doing some home improvement inside and out in the very near future. That means storage shelves, new paint and planning our garden for this year. Loverly Husband is even talking about building a greenhouse. I can’t wait!!
Now that school’s over for today, I’m going to curl up on the couch with a cup of tea and my Nook while the children are otherwise occupied in another room.
Warmly,
~h
Homeschooling is Hard
If you’d asked me when we started what the hardest part of homeschooling was, I’d have probably said something about the curriculum, or confidence. At the beginning of last year, it would have been ‘fitting everything in’ or making sure that they didn’t have too many gaps in their education’ – again confidence related with maybe a little scheduling thrown in.
Ask me now, going into our third year, what the biggest challenge of homeschooling is and I say it’s the time commitment; the never-ending constancy of being ‘on’. As either Mom or Teacher, I am on-stage from the moment they wake up in the morning to whenever they finally fall asleep in the evenings (despite the fact that bedtime is at 8PM and not including the occasional during-the-night call to action). I do normally get up around the same time Loverly Husband does in the morning since the kids have started sleeping a little later in the mornings – that gives me a little bit of coffee time alone – but not much.
When my kids were little, I was wholeheartedly committed to the principles of attachment parenting. I remember the kids pre-school years as fun and full of joy, and at that point, we were planning to homeschool so there was no change of scenery in sight. I was happy with that plan, but if I’m honest about it, I admit that there were lots of days that I was exhausted, overwhelmed and in desperate need of a nanny, a maid, and an all-expense-paid vacation to somewhere with sparkling sand and cabana boys.
As much as I enjoy my life, and I do recognize that compared to some situations out there my life has been nothing but roses, there have definitely been a couple of breaking points over the years that meant major changes for our family. These changes were needed, but probably should have been addressed sooner than they were. Once they were made though, the benefit to our family happiness was noticeable.
Never one for a pristine-clean house, when the kids were little it was pretty much always a disaster area. With little ones running around, it was really hard to keep them entertained and out of trouble long enough to get any real cleaning done, and whatever I cleaned, they’d messy again when I was in the hallway putting the cleaning supplies away. Since the kids were my priority, the house suffered. When PeaGreen was about 3 and a half or so, after a fight with my Loverly Husband, we finally got on a good housekeeping schedule (and the mighty Household Bossy Book was born). He and I both had roles to fill and after discussing what we had, and what we wanted to change, we were both more aware of the responsibilities that came with keeping up ‘our family’s’ home. It belongs to both/all of us, and though I don’t mind a larger portion of the housekeeping being heaped onto my plate since I am here, even LH and the kids have their ’chores’.
Another breaking point came when the kids started school. I was working (unpaid), trying to get a doula business off the ground, and dealing with the constant in-and-out of school, homework, being an active PTO member and volunteer – it was a lot. Since I was gone so much, it was harder to keep up with all the housekeeping myself, and so the Bossy Book got re-vamped, with the kids taking on larger responsibilities as chores. Then, due to a variety of circumstances, including a tragic miscarriage, I decided to put my personal career goals on hold, and soon after that we started homeschooling.
One of the benefits to having the kids in school though – and one that I miss greatly at times – is the amount of time that I had to myself. From 8AM to almost 3PM, even though I was still ‘on call’ for the kids if needed, it’s not the same as having them underfoot all day, every day. The initial adjustments to homeschooling were all about the good – it was such a welcome change from what we had been dealing with that the day-to-day hadn’t set in yet. Even as much as a year or so later, I think we were still in the ‘honeymoon’ phase.
A couple of months ago, I reached another breaking point. I was ready to quit; even went so far as to look up enrollment information for the kids to go back to school. Part of me was dead serious about it. Part of me was indulging in a fantasy. I was having a super bad day/week, and anything that wasn’t ‘here’ and ‘me’ was better than what we had going on – being stuck in a rut and not knowing how to get out of it. And of course, the reality that going back to school would not solve any problems; in fact, it would only add new and more awful ones to my already stressed-out plate. And so again, a necessary argument discussion with Loverly Husband about what we had and what was and what was not working was called for. He actually had a day off planned that week, and normally when he’s home, we’re off. But after discussing it, we decided to have school anyway, and let him see how things normally went.
Having a visitor for the day was a good thing*. Having Dad here to actually experience the way that we normally do school and the tactics that our (brilliant, clever and witty) kids have developed to circumvent my methods actually did help. I don’t typically harp on ‘discipline’ with my kids, but this is one area where lack of discipline (meaning ‘adherence to a structure’ and ‘self-discipline’ rather than ‘punishment’) was lacking. Instead of sticking to scheduled time frames, I was allowing pleading and negotiation when there really shouldn’t be any. School work is not negotiable (unless it is – in which case, it is presented as such) and is not up for discussion. That’s not to say that I don’t take their wants and needs into consideration; anyone who works with kids knows that in general, they are comfort-led. They’d rather take the easy route and that’s usually not the same as hitting the books (minor note here about child-led learning; I prefer a more parent directed approach until the basics are covered and their foundation is strong, after which their education will be more interest and strength fine-tuned. YMMV {wink}). Having Dad here to see how things work (and don’t) was a big help; his level of understanding what my day is/can be like, while still not the same as being the primary teacher, is better after having been involved all day. His suggestions and discussion with the kids, as well, helped bring us back to an even keel.
Another facet of this multi-layered issue is me. I have/suffer from/deal with clinical depression issues, and though I wouldn’t normally describe myself as an anxious person, my current medication includes an anti-anxiety component that I am finding extremely helpful. I have been on and off of medication in the past and have known for some time that I needed to go back on them. I did last month and things have been improving. Adjusting to new medication is kind of like a box of chocolates; I’ve been fortunate that my side effects are few and manageable.
Just to clarify, this post isn’t just griping about homeschooling. My point in posting this is to dispel any notion of the ‘homeschoolers are perfect’ style stereotypes and to illustrate how we work through problems in our family. We’re launching into the beginning of our school year, so I wanted to present an open look at what homeschooling can be like on the inside.
Yesterday was our first day back, and we’ve made some adjustments for this year. We generally have an enjoyable routine, though there have been bumps (and will yet be more in the future), we are committed to homeschooling. Helping everyone in our family understand that, and what their roles are, is key to successfully navigating home life – and homeschooling.
Warmly,
~h
* for clarification purposes: calling Loverly Husband/Dad a ‘visitor’ is not meant to imply that he’s not an active part of our homeschooling. As a homeschooling mom, I require his support and participation – but his primary role in our family is provider; mine is child and household care – that’s just the division of labor. Though we both weigh in on the kids’ education, that also is primarily my responsibility to manage. Use of the term ‘visitor’ only implies that he is not normally physically present in day to day schooling with us.
NYR: The 2012 Version
So this will be my second NYE post on this blog, since abandoning my MySpace blog a couple of years ago. For most of you, this info will be irrelevant, but since it’s become tradition for me, I am posting it anyway.
My usual format is to post this year’s resolutions, and then do a re-cap of previous year’s with progress reports as needed. It’s a long post (so feel free to skip most of it. I’m blogging this more for my own accountability and record-keeping than for public consumption), but I find it entertaining and see no reason to alter that format, so without further adieu, here are 2012′s New Year’s Resolutions (amazingly, I’m running ahead of schedule here, posting this almost a week before the new year. Go, me, all organized and stuff!):
1. Home Blessing – this has been my first resolution for a couple of years now. It’s an on-going thing and I am wondering now how long it needs to be an actual resolution since it doesn’t seem like it’s completely accomplishable. There is always something else to do that falls under this category… in any case, this encompasses all de-cluttering and home improvement type activities from resolutions past. This year’s actual targets are the master bath and kids’ rooms: painting and decor.
2. Medication: get them filled, on time; stay on them. I seem to go through phases where I feel good and stop taking them, then need them again, but fight the need and so things deteriorate until it’s apparent that I am truly effed up and require them. So… keeping them filled and myself stable will circumvent this whole scenario. FYI, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and last month was prescribed an anti-anxiety medication as well. It’s helping. I also take thyroid medication, asthma, and allergy medications daily.
3. Plan and take a family vacation. As the kids get older and wrapped up in their own interests, Loverly Husband and I actually get quite a bit of time to ourselves these days. That trend will only continue as the kids age, and I think that the focus needs to shift to keeping them focused on the family. A family vacation before they get too old and too ‘cool’ to enjoy it would be nice.
4. Get back to kid-friendly exercise. We slacked a lot on this in 2011. I want to get back to being outdoorsy even if it means just me and the kids by ourselves. Hiking, biking, swimming, beach – all that and more are on the books for 2012.
5. Forage/Raw Foods Week: Loverly Husband’s idea is to take a couple of weeks and instead of doing our normal grocery-shopping routine, buy only foods that can be prepared or consumed without cooking. I’m open to it, and doing something like this with him on board will be much easier than trying to do it with him kicking and screaming. Since it’s his idea, it’s going on the list for this year.
6. Fashionista: this is going to encompass my hair/nails and wardrobe. I need to keep up with my hair, I want to get my nails done (and keep them done) and update my wardrobe in the coming year. Hopefully the ‘kid-friendly exercise’ resolution up there will help necessitate the actual need for new clothing… one can hope, right?
7. Figure out Container Gardening: This year will be our third attempt at a garden. I want to do an herb garden indoors and a veggie garden outside. I’d also like to do a couple of fruit trees (a cherry tree??). I need to read up on them and decide where and when to start them. It’s part of our homeschool science class, so the kids can help, too.
8. Post my art journals to DeviantART. I have an account and pictures of my journals, I need to either put them in a video or post the pictures.
9. Complete at least one writing project. Any of them. At least one.
I would do 10 because it’s such a nice, round number, but it’s become somewhat of a tradition to only make 9. So that’s my list for this year. I don’t usually post progress reports during the year, so don’t feel bad if you forget all about them until the end of December.
This officially concludes the ‘current resolutions’ portion of this post. If you’re interested to see how previous resolutions have held up over the years, feel free to read on. I’ve been updating each year’s resolutions for the past few years; it’s interesting to me to see how my goals and things have changed.
2011′s Resolutions (originally posted December 29, 2010) & updates:
1: Home Blessing - this has been on the books for a while, and will finally see real progress this year. This resolution encompasses all the de-cluttering/cleaning goals from years past and includes anything related to making our home a nicer place to live in. We’re planning a major re-decorating/face-lift to our house in the spring, including painting inside and out, switching our bedroom into the master bedroom (which is currently doing time as a storage/library/craft room) and putting the boys in their own bedrooms. We’ll also do some appliance upgrades and redecorate. I’m excited!! – update: We completed repainting the outside of the house, and our bedroom is moved and decorated. That took a lot more money than we’d planned on, so the rest of the renovations will be carried over to this year. I’m not displeased with our progress – it’s part of home ownership, which I am grateful for.
2: Teach the boys to cook. SFK was bragging about her 9-year-old dd making a four-course meal; I’m jealous and so shall attempt to teach the boys more about the culinary arts this year. The goal is to have them make at least one full meal each by… December 1st. That should give me plenty of time. update: meh. Cooking, yes. Full meal, no. They have gotten pretty good at making simple things – following recipes and using the stove. That’s more from efforts of their own than me actively teaching them, but I am not displeased with that, either. I find that as much as I dislike cooking, I dislike for the children to be underfoot while I am cooking even more. Based on this year’s progress, I can surmise that their continued experimentation and learning in the kitchen will continue with or without my help.
3: Attend a Writer’s Conference/Workshop (or a homeschooling one). Both would be ideal, but attendance at one or the other will fulfill this one. This is a re-hash of a previous resolution; before it was ‘attend monthly group meetings’. I think that the monthly group would be good to do, too, but I really want to try for a conference or workshop that is more in my field (so romance or sci-fi/fantasy or para-normal romance. And no, you can’t read them…yet). update: nope; I didn’t do either. I DID, however, work on a couple of my stories and stared a new writing project with one of my BFF’s, AnnA of TheEverydayAlchemist. We have weekly Skype dates to collaborate and toss some encouragement for our individual projects around… and just because we’re more awesome when we’re together and need to be reminded of that often.
4: Try veganism on for a week. I’ve tried vegetarianism on (it doesn’t fit), but never veganism. It’ll be a challenge. update: HA! I say. I didn’t do this at all. In fact, I did the polar opposite of this – going all meat for a few weeks. I tried the Atkins diet for about three weeks – it sucks; I don’t recommend it. Maybe in 2012? Loverly Husband has mentioned trying a meal plan that consists of keeping only raw foods in the house and ‘foraging’ so maybe something like that would be more attainable since I’d have his support.
5: Personal Growth. This is the one that I am lumping the rest of my writing goals and all of my health/weight loss goals into, as well as parenting goals (such as putting into practice/deeper study of NVC). I always have a couple of these listed, and I think it’s kinda cheating to have 4 of the same, on-going goals… so. I’m also putting things like: continue meeting meditation and spiritual goals, making time for ‘me’, blogging/writing something daily, etc. Some friends and I are re-committing to SparkPeople.com for this year (so if you wanna join me, come on!). I have many goals in that particular department, but I blog there too, so that’s where most of that goes. update: Meh… I’m giving this a 75%. Some of this has been met and surpassed, other parts of it have been seen to but not quite as well as I’d like. See this year’s NYR’s for an updated and possibly more specific list of goals. I have posted parts 1-6 of 13 from the NVC book here on my blog with plans to continue this year.
6: Date Night with Loverly Husband at least 1x per month. We used to do this at least that often, but this year, it seems like that’s taken a backseat. Between homeschooling and him working more, it’s been harder to find time to go out. It’s not a ‘problem’, but I’d rather focus on this now, before it becomes a problem. One the plus side, we did get a mini-break in 2010, with plans for another in a couple of months. Yay!! update: We didn’t stick to this plan… nor did we get to have a mini-break without the kiddos. We spent our money on house stuff, which was good, and as the kids are getting older and more wrapped up in their own interests, we do get more time together. I think this year’s more family-focused goal is more necessary as the kids get older.
7: Dye my hair. Note to self: For the love of all that is salon, please visit the beauty supply shop and DO SOMETHING about your hair!!!! It’s been months – MONTHS – since you’ve put color in it. You have 6 inches of natural hair color. WTF?? That’s simply unacceptable. One cannot remain worthy of the moniker ‘Rainbow Brite’ with one’s natural hair color slapping people in the face. Before the month of January is out, you must fix this! And keep it fixed. All year. update: for the most part, yes. I haven’t had roots beyond an inch or so and have kept dye on-hand most of the year. Go me!
8: Plan for lunch out better. When the kids were little, I had food for them on me all. the. time. I breastfed them for 3 years each, and I believe that had an effect on how they eat now. They’ve always eaten frequent small meals throughout the day; with no big meals and no set times, that meant that as an in-tune mama I needed to keep food in the bag so that I could meet their needs. When they started school, they had to adjust to a more common eating schedule and I got out of the habit of keeping food with us. Since we started homeschooling, they’ve fallen back into their normal eating patterns but I have not. So my goal for this year is to plan for food better – packing a cooler with appropriate small meals and snacks when we go out. This will help me with #5 as well. update: pretty much met for the first part of the year, then sort of slacked off as the year wound down. We did Bento lunches for months, then were home a lot and I slacked off on making them. I do prefer Bentos and so do the kids, so we’re going to work on getting back to that on a regular basis again.
9: Do something about my wardrobe. I am putting this one separate from the ‘home blessing’ because it’s not really about making space or de-cluttering (though that does play a part). I have a bunch of clothes that don’t fit (both too small and too large) and that are out-dated that I’ve held on to. It’s time to let go! I don’t necessarily need new clothes (though if certain portions of #5 are carried out, I may), but I would like for the clothes that are taking up my space to be ones that I like and wear. update: I did declutter my clothing! I am in need of some new pieces though (but don’t expect a rainbow of colors or anything; I am still *me*). I also did the kids’ clothing and Loverly Husband’s, so yay!
2010′s Resolutions and Progress Report: NYE’s Written on Jan. 2, 2010:
I bought, like 4 new hats and have worn them all. And they look awesome, if I do say so myself. Go me! That makes me happy. My hat collection is ever-growing and still awesome.
That last bit still makes me smile. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone else’s resolutions and to seeing how you fared from last year. Good luck reaching them and Happy New Year!!
Pick-up Stix
Once upon a time, there was this awesome Blogging Goddess. She promptly updated her blog after every significant and/or picture-worthy event, and was especially diligent about writing and sharing holiday-related blog posts.
….. Aaaaaaaad *clearly*, we’re not talking about me, here. {wink} We now join our fair Minor Blogging Deity Slacker Blogger a week after Halloween to re-cap the newsworthy events of the past week.
Much as I wish I could say that there haven’t been any, there has, and as much as I wish I could say these events aren’t newsworthy, they are. But first, let me sprinkle some holiday cheer (umm…er… cobwebs?)
I may have mentioned before that I was raised in a religion that does not celebrate holidays. Being the somewhat gothy chick that I am, anything dark and mysterious and/or creepy and spooky has always attracted my interest, and Halloween in particular has always held intense fascination for me. Now that I’m all grown up with kids of my own, I’m able to indulge myself in all the fancy fun that is decorating, making creepy food and dressing up.
We had a small gathering of friends over last weekend to celebrate; grown-ups and kids. This was our first holiday party to host, so it was very exciting. We had a full house ( a mad house, I tell ya!) and everyone had a pretty good time, I think. The kids spent a great deal of time outside waiting for new guests to arrive so they could pop out and scare them, then playing chase and hide and seek in the dark. We kept the adults warm and conversation flowing with sangria and party games, with the occasional child running through the house (often yelling). We wrapped up the evening close to the witching hour with poker and Rock Band. Since we don’t often have many guests over at one time, this was a lot of fun!
Last year, my awesome peeps came over to my house and we crafted Halloween trees from branches, tall glass containers, rocks from the yard, scrapbook paper, Mod Podge and spray paint. They turned out really well, so I decided to keep mine for further holiday use. I kept up with it until Easter-ish of this year, then packed the tree away… it’s back out again (complete with the orange eggs from Easter, even) with spooky decorations. As of this moment, it’s still on the table (de-Halloween’d) and waiting for a new craft. I’m thinking fall leaves made out of coffee filters and watercolors and the ‘thankful’ leaves that we put on a paper tree last year…. stay tuned for pictures!
The kids’ little pumpkins are also still on the table – we’re considering making pies. I’ve never made pies from real pumpkins before, so this should be interesting!
A Pinterest find… Chocolate cupcakes with white icing and sugar glass with syrup blood… the pictures really don’t do them justice! We also attempted to carve faces in apples for shrunken heads to float in the bloody sangria (Apothic Red wine, cran-strawberry juice and sprite with berry jello ‘globs’ for blood clots. It was disgustawesome.), but only managed two, and they were… not so great. I plan to practice my apple-carving skillz in the coming year and try again next year.
Kids’ costumes: PeaGreen is the Green KNight from Castle Crashers (video game) and LBB is ‘a ghost named Scream’. He’s never seen the movies (that I know of) and it occurs to me that this is the third year in a row that he’s dressed as a serial killer. There was Jason, then Grim Reaper, and now Scream… we banned weapons for the future at Halloween this year, so hopefully next year he will plan his costume based on something other than the weapon said character carries.
And this is my costume… well, part of it. I saw this video by Klaire de Lys for ripped nails and thought they’d make excellent zombie or fresh-from-the-coffin-baby-vamp nails. Considering that I am a huge fan of Vampire and Z-pocalypse themed anything, I figured I should take notes. Notes turned into a trial run, and my trial run turned into fabu, which, doing the math, = pictures. So, yay! I only did one hand and posted the picture to Facebook to gauge effectiveness and am quite happy to report that this method of nail-crafting does, indeed, elicit the expected sympathetic and/or grossed out responses! I did both hands for Halloween (after all the food was prepared, naturally) and again – lots of positive feedback (which, in this case includes comments like, ‘sick’, ‘so real looking’, ‘gross’, ‘nasty’ and ‘that’s seriously making me ill’.) {does happy dance}
In other news, we’re a mere four weeks away from being DONE with our second year of homeschooling!
{fanfare}
You can expect a countdown from here on out, pretty much. While most people are finally settled into their year, ours is winding down. I am debating the wisdom of doing less academic related stuff and more crafting/holiday related stuff, but I think we can probably work both in. We’ll have off the last 3 weeks of December before we start the new year in January; I’ll be planning next year’s schedule in the near future as well.
We’re currently in the middle of Peter and the Starcatchers (with two more books in the series on the table waiting to be read) and about to start a Thanksgiving unit study and lapbook. I’m working without a printer at the moment (am considering inventing a printer that runs on blood; it would be cheaper than buying ink/toner), so I will be putting all of my craftiness into making a lapbook without a printer. We’re going to use collage and notebooking, so it will look quite different from our previous lapbook samples, but still fun, I hope. Combined with the Yule lapbook that we started on but never finished last year, that’s quite a bit of crafty stuff in and of itself.
So that’s pretty much it. I have more to say, but will post again tomorrow.
Warmly,
~h
*post title has absolutely nothing to do with the content of this post. It was just a word that sounded fun in my mouth and so now it’s the title of this post.
Just a Normal Homeschooling Mom
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Two people searched that phrase today and found my blog. That made me start thinking about what it means to be a ‘normal’ homeschooling mom.
On the one hand, I consider myself pretty normal; conventional, even. Traditional, certainly. We’re a family consisting of a married man and woman, with the requisite 2 children (sans dog), living in a single-family home on the outskirts of a moderately sized American city. My Loverly Husband works and is the ‘breadwinner’; I am a homemaker (that hates cooking) and I drive a mini-van (don’t hate; I was adamantly against it until I owned one). My husband works a normal work week, we have relatives that live nearby and maintain a pretty close familial relationship with our siblings, parents and grandparents, typical familial squabbles notwithstanding.
As a mother, I have always been somewhat outside the mainstream. I chose midwives to deliver my babies with instead of OBs. I went into labor spontaneously, naturally and planned natural labors (though that didn’t work out exactly according to plan) and my babes were both born vaginally with no cuts or other artificial assistance. I breastfed exclusively. I made my own baby food. We co-slept, cloth diapered (part-time) and opted out of vaccination. I breastfed through my pregnancy with my second child and tandem nursed my babies. We never used babysitters; only family ever watched my kids and those occasions were (and still are) few and far between; not because we don’t have options or because we don’t trust anyone, but because we actually enjoy spending time with our kids. That’s normal for us, and I’m used to being different from others in this respect.
As a homeschooling mom, we’re right in the middle. We’re not too rigorous, nor are we totally relaxed. We use both books and computers for schoolwork. For the most part, I feel right there in the thick of ‘normal’. There are times though, that I feel like I’m really out there on the edge. I think that the determining factor is who I’m surrounded by in that moment. As a homeschooling mom, I should be part of this enormous and growing community of women who support each other and reassure each other in their endeavors to educate their kids. But as a secular homeschooler, I’m one of the smaller sub-sections of homeschooler for whom there is little support – much like ‘homeschooling dad’ or ‘working homeschooling mother’ or ‘homeschooling grandparent’.
Thankfully, the secular homeschooling community is growing by leaps and bounds. Even just over the past year, I’ve noticed more groups and blogs that speak to secular homeschoolers popping up. Searching ‘secular homeschooling’ nets more and more sites every week. That’s a great thing, because that means that what is considered normal is changing. The more label-specific groups open up, the more diverse the general homeschooling community becomes, which in turn helps to re-define ‘normal’. I sincerely hope that other niche groups of homeschoolers will also grow, further shaping society’s perception or normalcy.
I’m very fortunate to be a part of a growing and active local support group. The benefit to me and my children in having like-minded homeschoolers to meet up with definitely helps shape my idea of normal. As it is now, I am happy to be a ‘normal’ homeschooling mom, especially when my definition of ‘normal’ means that I get to have bright pink hair and kids with freshly cut mohawks.
What’s your normal?
Warmly,
~h
Family Traditions
This past Saturday was the celebration of one of the few things that my side of the family celebrates – opening day of deer season. I was raised in a faith that did not allow the celebration of traditional holidays, so our family was pretty creative about finding other things to celebrate. Weddings and anniversaries were always big. Graduation parties and first/last day of school rated high on our list, too. My mom always put together some kind of summertime fun party for us too, but the one that we all sort of looked forward to was the first day of deer season – and Camp Breakfast.
The tradition is that all the men hunt and all the women cook. Being the somewhat progressive (and possibly very, very redneck) family that we are, a lot of the women hunt, too. My mom and grandmother (who do not hunt) and great-aunts (who do) usually cook. My sisters and I (who also do not hunt) are usually the pitchers-in of supplies, but this year I actually got to cook. Traditionally, it was bacon and eggs with deer sausage and biscuits or toast, but in the last few years, they’ve branched out into different recipes. This year, it was breakfast burritos, biscuits and gravy and muffins. No one leaves hungry!
(Yes, they had coke with breakfast… don’t judge; it was a special occasion). Afterwards, the kids spent the afternoon performing bike stunts with their cousins.
To go along with this ‘family holiday’, we’ve also completed a lapbook on deer. We also incorporated a couple of the mini books from the Yearling lapbook and may grab it at the library later on and do the lapbook for it as well. This is a small lapbook, but it was a very rich unit. When we were looking up predators, we ended up looking more deeply into the mythology that surrounds them (like wolves and Native American culture, and jaguars and South American culture). The art work and mythology is so interesting; I’m sure we’ll go back to those areas again.
We also got to talk about conservation and endangered animals and how it affects us when animals go extinct. We talked about how our state’s Parks and Wildlife department is reintroducing some of the larger predators to our area and the role they play in population control. I was honestly surprised by how much there was to be learned on such a seemingly simple topic. As for age-range, this lapbook was right on-target. My boys are 7 and 8, they really enjoyed working on this one. Gold Star to HomeschoolShare.com for putting together such a great book!
Warmly,
~h
Biking with the Kids
Every time the weather gets cool and crisp, I think of the White Stripes song, “We are gonna be Friends“; I don’t know why – we’re not in school, lol. Anyway – we’ve been out as much as possible – biking and/or hiking every day, soaking up the cool weather. It is so lovely outside; I just can’t say enough about it. The kids have even dragged out long-sleeved clothing. I’m thinking that might be a bit premature but who am I to criticize?
We got the house all decorated – it’s officially fall-like now. We still have a couple of crafts to put together to really make it feel festive, but there is definitely a fall-theme around here. This is just my favorite time of year – so much crafting to be done and baking – I generally don’t like to cook, but I like ‘craft cooking’ – cookies, candy, baking… that’s really fun. especially since my darling (and much neglected of late) friend Linda showed me how easy candy-making can be. Just take something (anything, really – well, anything edible), melt some chocolate in the microwave, dip and voila! Real, handmade candy. So easy, even the kids can do it. It’s messy, especially when you add food coloring or flavorings, but so much fun and so very tasty.
We’ve also been working on costumes; Peagreen has thus far always chosen some character that is hard (read: impossible) to find commercially, so we’re usually making his costumes from scratch. Last fall, he was Luigi, which was thankfully easily located. This year, it’s a Mario theme again, but a new? character he calls ‘yellow flying Toad’. Here’s a picture:
I converted his bike helmet into an approximation - all we need now is the propeller on top. He’s pretty jazzed about it as-is though. Truthfully, I’m mighty pleased with it myself. The helmet was silver; I Mod-Podged white paper over the black stripes and over the holes, then with yellow tissue paper. I painted the decals on the sides (mostly free-hand – impressed much?) then Mod-Podged agin to seal it all. I added his name to the front and the date on the back. It’s a one-of-a-kind, for sure! I picked up a yellow Old Navy track-suit jacket from Goodwill a few days ago, and a yellow tee-shirt; all we need now is yellow sweatpants (or I’ll make some) and red socks (to cover his shoes) and he’s good to go.
Aww – I love photo angles like this one that make his face still look so round and baby-ish. My baby’s no baby anymore. Boo {tear}
I’m working on a Queen of Hearts get-up. Not the new Tim Burton Queen, more a cross between the Disney Alice and Wonderland and her:
Either way, I think I’m getting this wig:
LittleBoyBlue is planning on being a Transformer (but that’s not set in stone). He’s mentioned Bumblebee; how odd if both my boys end up yellow this year, lol. No clue what Loverly Husbands’ plans are… he did promise to costume for the party though, so we’ll see.
This post is brought to you by the letters, H, S and A; and by the number 4. We’re off to the Houston Zoo in a bit with our fabulous homeschool group, so look for a re-cap of that tomorrow sometime.
Ciao, baby!
~h
Sunday Surf for 9-19
Welcome to this week’s Sunday Surf! I hope that you find something fun to read, and if you’re so inclined, take this as your invitation to participate next week!
Enjoy:
Rural Socialite’s Welcome to my Home – A Photo Tour is fun. I can;t afford to redecorate my house and this might serve as a good placeholder while I dream of new paint and knobs…
Kitchen Witch’s Zombie Contingency Plan is awesome… I’m thinking I might need a kit ‘just in case’. This may lead to a van full of survival kids, what with our field trip box already back there, lol. Vampires, aliens … you just need to be prepared!
I’m Unschooled. Yes I can Write’s Month of Cool People and Places is a great post. If you don’t click any other link in today’s surf, click this one and watch the “Not Back to School Camp” video. What an amazing, inspiring place!
Secular Nature Homeschool’s Organizers & Joiners post has a great list of Top Ten Rules for Being Part of a Homeschool Group that I thought was both funny and true (not that MY group moms need to worry about that, lol).
Teri at Laughing, Lace and Legos posted about their geography lesson and maps that they made. I am super-inspired by this and as we’re about to begin a study of the United States, I thought we might be able to draw from her awesome craftiness in our study of the land we live in.
New Dress A Day was recommended on SecularHomeschooling.com as a ‘must follow’ blog, and yes, I admit, I am hooked. She’s SEW CRAFTY! (Bad puns are cool now; didn’t you get that memo??)
For more Sunday Surfing, visit Authentic Parenting, Enjoy Birth, Breastfeeding Moms Unite, A Domesticated Woman’s Adventures, Maman A Droit,Hobo Mama and Baby Dust Diaries.
Warmly,
~h
Organized Mom is Disorganized This Week
… and by ‘week’, I naturally mean ‘month’. {sigh} I am playing catch-up in a major way… we’re 2 weeks into M6 and I just now printed out my reports for M5. (If you’re just tuning in, I use Homeschool Tracker’s Basic for record-keeping. We break for a week after every 6, and I print report cards because I am an obsessive-compulsive type who likes paper (as well as digital) reports to refer to when the need arises – and it does, often. More on that in a bit. If that’s not your bag, that’s cool – but you don’t get to make nasty comments… unless they’re funny. Funny, I can forgive {wink})
I’ve spent the last 2 or 3 weeks working with SFK and PB&JMom getting our homeschool group’s co-op planned and the calendar set for the next few months (and then coming home and updating the calendar and website). I thoroughly enjoyed myself throughout all stages of this event, but in working all of that, I have neglected my own planning. I have our 6 week arc down, but I do not have daily lessons planned for the entire mod as of yet. My poor lesson planner is nearly blank past this weekend, so I will be sitting down and filling the rest of that out over the weekend, I am sure. After all, how can we learn when we don’t yet know what we’re going to learn about?!
Something I have been meaning to address is, “How do you do everything that you do?”
This is a question I get asked often – or variations of. In the past month, I’ve been called everything from a ‘straight-up overachiever’ to an ‘android’… all in good fun, of course, but the question stuck with me. I’m sure it’s a compliment with a great deal of snark mixed in, but I get asked that often enough to want to answer it. I’m just never sure what to say that answers it without sounding like I’m either defending myself or bragging. So here goes…
First of all, I’d like to say that what I do is in no way a comment on what you do (or do not) do. My friends know this already, but I wanted to clear that up before I went any further. I’m hardly perfect and gleefully submit to pointings-out of my faults, but as Patchfire says in SmrtLernins’ Secular Homeschool Archetypes: The Organized Mom,
Organized Mom doesn’t know how not to be organized…
Truer words, my dear… truer words. I love Smrt Mama’s homeschooling archetypes post. I can easily identify myself. I could front and say that’s not me, but we all know it is, lol.
I don’t think it’s so much about the ‘how’ as it is the ‘why’. As I said, I’m an obsessive compulsive type who likes information in duplicate and in multiple formats (in case of a fire… or hurricane… or alien invasion…y’know. Whatever). I do not like surprises; the rare exception to that is if you can manage to keep me from detecting even a hint of it. Such a feat has only been accomplished once, and all credit to BFF, because she completely rocked that! As you would expect, I am not a spontaneous person. My calendar has actually had time blocked of for ‘something spontaneous’ in the past, I kid you not. This mindset extends to basically every aspect of my life.
That’s not to say that I am not flexible. I am more than willing to change plans most of the time, but I need my hours blocked off so that I know what my options are. That way, I can pick and choose what I really want to do and rarely miss out on something cool. This is the part that applies to homeschooling and why I am the way I am. I don’t want my kids to miss out on a unique learning opportunity. Why spend a week reading about the Civil War when we can go to a Civil War Re-enactment and live it? That’s so much more interesting and makes history tangible. I dig that.
I also know what I want available in our area. Though our individual group is rather small, the homeschooling community in our tri-county area is extensive. With 7 co-ops that I know of (just learned about another one yesterday!), not counting mine, that’s a LOT of homeschoolers. But none of the groups are working together as a team to pull resources that we could all benefit from. Each group individually might host a science fair or an art show – but what if we had enough participants from all the groups for a ‘real’ show or competitive fair? I just see potential know that I want that opportunity for my kids. Surely there must be other homeschooling moms who see this kind of void, and I can’t help thinking that if we all work together, we can fill it with something totally awesome.
I also know what it is that I want for my kids, and to an extent, what I want out of it as well. I enjoy homeschooling. I love researching and finding cool things to dry and make and do. I like messy projects and days where we chuck the lesson plan and snuggle on the couch with hot chocolate and literature (or I will when winter gets here, lol). I love teaching my kids – watching them finally ‘get’ something is absolutely amazing. I love that I get to spend time with my kids – hours per day that would be lost if they were in school-school – every aspect of it, though challenging at times, is right up my alley. Combine that with my personal philosophy about child rearing, which can basically be summed up with, “When you know better, do better”. I want the best for my kids, and I do my best for them. I’m by no means perfect, but I try awfully hard.
I think there’s also a good dose of learning from my elders mixed in with my outlook, too. When my babes were little, I held them all the time. No really. ALL the time, either in-arms or worn on me in the sling. This came about, in part, because I kept hearing my grandmother and her friends talk about how much they wished they had not listened to the ones who told them to put their babies down to sleep or on the floor for ‘tummy time’… about how fleeting the baby days are. I didn’t want to miss out on any of that, so I held them. When I was in school, my mother worked a lot and talked often about how much she’d only ever wanted to be a stay at home mom. Since I am a stay at home mom, I try to enjoy it to the fullest and not take it for granted. These kids grow faster every day and since I can’t slow ‘em down, I’m savoring every single step.
So, back to the organizational stuff, if you’re still wondering why I keep and print records, and perhaps more interestingly, wondering what it is that I do with them, you’re in luck. I print them to file so that I have a back-up if my computers and/or hard/flash drives bite the dust. I use them to balance myself when I’m planning our lessons. I print the Overview and can see how many hours were devoted to which subjects. We’re almost always math and science heavy. Our Reading and LangArts/Grammar are moderate and history is actually pretty light most of the time. That makes sense to me – I know where that comes from. Math is my weakest subject, so I overcompensate to make sure I’m not short-changing my kids on math skillz. Maybe too much. I think science and technology are vital to my kids’ futures and careers, and so they play prominently in our curriculum. I’m much more comfortable with the ‘Reading’ stuff. That’s my strong suit, and so I feel pretty confident in those areas with what we’re doing so I don’t focus as much on those. They are also my boys’ weakest subjects, so I can see that maybe we need to spend more time in those areas.
In a 6-week long mod (usually 24 days of instruction), we range from 67 to 82 hours of ‘classroom’ time. That includes the lessons and field trips that are in my lesson planner and sometimes I also count schoolish things that are done on non-school days (like a field trip taken with our homeschool group on our off week). There are also a zillion ‘other’ things that could be added, but I try to keep what I record just to actual ‘lessons’, if that makes sense. Being able to quantify our time like that lets me sleep at night instead of worrying if we’re spending enough time in school or on schoolwork.
Grades are a little trickier. They have excellent grades – but we don’t just ‘gloss over’ anything that they need to know. If we’re learning a math skill, then we stay on that skill until it is mastered. They may be ‘behind’ what other kids their age are doing, but I feel that mastering a skill now is far better than squeaking by with a ‘passing grade’ now and finding that your foundation is weak later on. And they’re not behind (in case you were wondering).
So anyway… this all sounded a lot better in my head, lol. I’ll stop here, though I welcome questions if you want to know something specific. I hope that this casts a little bit of illumination into the transparent depths of my psyche for you {wink}.
Warmly,
~h
Cost Effective Eco-Consciousness
I’ve been trying to write this post about the dilemma that I, and I’m sure lots of moms on limited budgets, have. The issue is the high cost of organically and/or availability of locally grown produce, and the cost of ‘green’ or ‘natural’ cleaning, beauty and household products vs. mainstream ones. Thrown into this issue as well are the extremely high and un-covered by insurance alternative healthcare options like homeopathy, herbs and supplements, acupuncture/acupressure and other such things are. It seems that the things that are less chemically toxic, better for the environment and that promote overall health instead of merely masking symptoms are usually out of reach when you’re not in that top 10% of the financial bracket.
This post was prompted, in part, by this article over atPeaceful Parenting‘s blog. The point of the article being posted on that blog was absolutely valid – the question, “Are we really saving money on groceries today if we have a bigger health bill tomorrow?” is definitely one to ponder. The issue I have with this lies in the comments section. I was appalled and annoyed at the judgement and condemnation that I saw there. Only one person mentioned the financial straits that some parents are faced with that makes the grocery game (and learning to play it well) something that some families need to do in order to feed their families.
For me, personally, our situation is not that dire but learning to coupon better and keep track of what we have on-hand and what we need to add to that for specific recipes would stretch our grocery budget. In some cases, that would mean not choosing the ‘greener’ option but choosing to buy what I had a coupon for. That’s not to say that I don’t make better nutritional/less processed choices when possible, but I’m inclined to make my dollar go as far as it can, and if playing the grocery game can help with that then I’m willing to do that. The problem is that articles like that one, and the comments that accompany it make me feel like I’m spinning my wheels – instead of getting healthier by eating better, am I un-doing whatever the good stuff has done by picking something ‘less’?
Then the conspiracy theorist in me comes out to play… the part of me that says, “Sure, you can eat better foods, but you can’t avoid the toxins in literally every other aspect of your life. The air we breathe and the soil our local produce is grown in is tainted beyond redemption thanks to the oil and paper/logging industries that keep our local economy afloat.” And let’s not forget about the insecticides that the county comes out with to keep the mosquito population from carrying us away (and the Off! that I spray my kids down with when they’re going to be outside for a long time – which we have to use because they’re allergic to the soy-based alternatives we’ve tried – and going bug-spray-less means lots of skeeter bites that itch, which means lots of lidocaine being slathered on because they’re allergic to bites, without which leads to infection and scarring - so, a little deet is the lesser of about four evils in that scenario).
It makes me wonder just how much of the organic/green buzz is pure propaganda. Does it make THAT much of a difference what you eat and what you clean your house with when so many other areas of your life are filled with toxins and chemical exposure that you cannot avoid? I just don’t know.
In the process of trying to write this post (this is the 3rd draft…), I kept getting distracted with the thought that a lot of my complaining when it comes to the cost factor sounds like excuses. Even though some of it is valid (like the probability that companies who make many of the greener products have caught on to the fact that people will simply pay more for those products and have no incentive to bring the cost down to a more comparable level), a lot of it comes down to choice. very time I start to say, “It costs too much”, I get conflicted with the fact that we spent $7 at Chick Fil A the other day. Granted, that’s the only time we’ll go to CFA until the week after next, but still… Then there’s the fact that if I worked, finances would be less of an issue (but then, not really, because at least during the summers, I’d only be working to pay for childcare; and the toll that working would take on my family would be prohibitive as well – so me working really isn’t an option).
What I’ve come to realize is that the good thing about being truly eco-conscious is that as long as you’re willing to forgo the flashy, showy, “Look how AWARE and INVOLVED in SAVING THE EARTH I am!!” stuff, keeping your home clean and eating with organic in mind is not all that hard to do. Frugality goes hand-in-hand with eco-consciousness, so thrift shopping and recycling clothing and household goods happily plays into this as well. Things like cleaning with vinegar, baking soda, borax, essential oils and castile soap – and making your own soaps and bath/beauty products. The fun thing about that is that it doubles as a hobby – so that’s more bang for your buck! Instead of buying re-usable shopping bags, make them from old sheets and clothing. Better yet, help the kids make and decorate them! Call it arts and crafts {smile}. Curtains, toys and decorating can also be liberated from old clothes and sheets. Art quilts, re-purposing old tee shirts and sweaters, even fabric scraps can be made into something awesome.
Let’s not forget about gardening and composting and vermicomposting! If you have boys, this is something they’ll dig most enthusiastically (girls, too – I’m not being sexist, lol). Growing your own little garden is (relatively) easy and requires less work than you might think. Now, I’m not talking about growing huge amounts of food or anything, esp. to start with. But you can grow a few tomatoes, onions and other fruits and veg fairly easily to supplement what you buy. We’ve been saving seeds from nearly everything lately – especially cherries! I have visions of a cherry tree-lined driveway in a few years…. We’re just getting started with the whole gardening/composting thing – but I’ll tell you what – going to visit and having your child finish up a banana and ask, “Hey Mom, where’s the compost bin?” at someone else’s house makes you smile.
I will say that some of the things that are most expensive to start with are good quality essential oils and herbs. Herbs, you can actually grow and dry yourself – and you can infuse them with intent as they’re growing, which is a nice touch, esp if you’re going to be using them for healing in your home. Oils – splurge. Buy from a reputable company and you’ll get more out of the product. Even if you just want to dabble, get the good stuff. Inferior quality oils don’t hold their fragrance and you won’t want to use the product you made. Also, if you’re using herbs and essential oils in a medicinal capacity you definitely want the best you can find. Some oils are more expensive than others. Start with more affordable oils and buy one at a time to build your collection. When you’re literally using drops at a time, they tend to last a while.
I guess what was really bugging me was the judgmental attitude from those who either aren’t faced with the same financial considerations, or just didn’t think before they wrote. It bugs me that most of those people probably have more than a couple of eco-consciousness contradictions in their lives – we all do. For some of us, diet is our main focus, for others, it may be household upgrades (like solar power, rain water collection or the like), for others it may be something else. There’s a fine line between taking advantage of modern conveniences and knowing which of those to forgo in favor of meeting whatever ideal is important at the moment. I think that every step we take with mindful intent, we’re improving the health and lives of our families, and that is what is important.
Warmly,
~h
CBC Day 5 and 6
Forgive me for not making this post more interesting. I have a couple of drafts I’m working on for ‘real’ blog posts, but I wanted to get my CBC work posted tonight. If you’re following, I’m working on Madeline Bea’s Creativity Boot Camp. She started it this past Sunday, and it’s a really interesting course. Harder than I had anticipated, but I’m enjoying being a part of it.
Day 5′s theme is GROW – nothing says “grow” more to me than a round belly full of baby.
I’ve drawn this image before, in pastels. There are some differences. My previous incarnation of this picture had long black hair that swirled around her shoulders and belly. The figure was leaner and taller – both are not ‘realistic’ (which is fine with me). I’m not adept at drawing breasts, apparently. How hard could it be – cavemen can do it, right? Well, it’s harder than it seems, I’ll tell ya. I will say that I like the pastel picture better than this one. It’s in color and that makes it seem more lifelike, or ‘lighter’ somehow. This seems really depressing to me.
Part of what makes this particular image meaningful for me now is that June marks one year since I lost my last baby. He or she would have been born in December. That was my first miscarriage – a learning experience that I so wish that I had not had the opportunity to have. It’s painful to think that right now, possibly right this minute, I should be nursing an almost 6 month old baby. Add to that the fact that we’ve been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for nearly a year now and for whatever reason have instead been ‘blessed’ with secondary infertility… it’s not a pleasant place to be. But we’re managing.
On the brighter side (not that there is really a ‘brighter side’ to that kind of hell – but you carry on, because there really isn’t another option), if I was mothering a new baby, I most likely wouldn’t be going through this boot camp course.
I am not as pleased with my work (myself?) during this course as I had hoped I would be. I’m used to being ‘teacher’s pet’ (weird since I haven’t been in class since I was, what… 16??) and having my work be really… something. Perhaps it’s the medium? I wanted to choose something that is challenging – drawing is obviously not one of my strengths. I do much better with abstract painting/drawing/imaging than trying to depict real scenes. I’m definitely challenged. I am looking forward to doing this class again with another medium – one that is perhaps easier for me. I’m thinking photography, and then again with writing. I am working on stories already, so that will have to go into my journal as well.
Moving on…
Day 6 was FLUID.
This was sitting on my desk upside down and my husband came in and said, “Volcano?” o_O Not realizing that the picture was turned in the wrong direction, I was surprised, as that was definitely not what I had in mind. I was kinda worried that my skills were even less than I had imagined – then he turned the paper rightways and said, “Oh. Water droplet. Gotcha.” Thank goodness. Then I looked at it upside down and realized that since it looks nothing like a volcano, even upside down, maybe my husband’s perception is off.
Back to the picture… this didn’t turn out like I wanted. I really should have used pastels – in fact, I could have, since the assignment was to do something ‘different’. I may do it over again later on with pastels. I can see a lot of blue and white and black in this piece that just doesn’t come through in black and white.
So there you have it – my contributions for the last 2 days to the continued development of my inner artiste. We have a crazy-busy day planned for tomorrow (which you’ll get to read all about when I blog it with pictures) so I am hoping that our lovely Boot Camp instructor posts tomorrow’s assignment at midnight so I can start contemplating how to put that concept on paper.
Goodnight all!
Warmly,
~h
The Return of Imagination
Television robs children of imagination and creative thinking. That’s not just a theory, I know this. I have seen it in action. That doesn’t mean that I am going to ban or that I support an all-out ban (or war) on TV. But that also doesn’t mean that I am blind to the differences in my children based on less or more TV-viewing.
When the kids were little, we severely limited their television time. As LittleBoyBlue hit a year or so, he watched A Bug’s Life and fell in lurve. He had to watch it at least once a day. And in the morning. And at nap time. And in the afternoon. And at bedtime. So, we started letting him. Bad move? Maybe. But he didn’t ‘sit in front of the TV and stare at it’ watch it, it was just on in the background while he went about his daily routine. I was sort of fine with that. Then I was pregnant and sicksicksick and so I let him watch more and more, interacted with him less and less (because in all honesty all I wanted to do was sleep) and finally PeaGreen was born. For a long time, we didn’t watch much TV. I am not a homebody by nature (or wasn’t until recently) and so we were gone every day – park, bookstore, library, visiting – anything we could do that was not at home.
As they grew though, we got more and more lax about allowing them to chill in front of the boob-tube when we were home, especially during the Dec-early March when the weather here is cold and wet and gray all the time. Then summertime would hit and I would banish TV, kick the kids outside and open up the house to let the sun in.
When I started paying attention, I noticed a correlation between their behavior and in the tones of their interaction with each other and the amount of TV they were watching. The more TV they watched, the whinier and crabbier they were. I noticed more fights, more picking on each other. When they weren’t allowed to waste the day away in front of the TV, I watched I creativity bloom. They worked together, were more of a team than adversaries. They collaborated on projects – even if the entire project was completely invisible. Heck, they had projects that were invisible!
My theory? Television robs children of the ability to think outside the box – literally. If they spent a lot of time watching TV, then even when they were away from the TV, their mind was on what was on TV. Constantly, I was fielding the question, “Mom, can we watch TV?”. If it wasn’t that, exactly, then it was some variation of it, and always related to getting done with whatever we were doing so that they could get back to watching TV. Even if they were playing without watching TV, their topic was usually related to a show or movie. If I sent them outside, they couldn’t think of anything to do. There was a lot of sitting on the porch, moping and ticking the minutes by until they could get back in front of the television, and if they missed a show? Pouting, tears, attitude… ugh.
When we banished TV (or severely limited it), then after maybe a week of de-tox, they miraculously were able to think of things to do outside or in their room that had nothing to do with television shows. They wake up and PLAY, and everything doesn’t revolve around what’s coming on next. They get engaged in physical activities that require planning and forethought and teamwork, and even if they miss out on a show, it’s not that big of a deal because they were having fun. I like that.
I am seeing this lovely shift into creativity again. I have been a lazy mama, I can admit that. During school (“school” school, not our new and improved homeschool) it took all my energy to get through homework when we got home from school. By the time we were done with that, I needed to get dinner on, make sure laundry was done for the next day, take care of whatever work I still needed to finish for the day – and we all needed to relax. Sometimes, that was accomplished in a “whole family” kind of way, but more often, it was either “Daddy Time” (which usually means video games) or we would all watch a show. Granted, it wasn’t always mind-numbing ‘crap TV’ – we’re big fans of Discovery Channel, Science Channel, NGC, and the History Channel, so we often watch intellectually stimulating programs by choice.
But weekends, weekends were a problem. My husband and I are night owls by nature, so if we don’t have to get up early in the morning, we’re prone to stay up super late and sleep in the next morning. Once the boys got old enough to let mom & dad sleep in, they’d get up and turn on the TV, grab some grub and their morning was set… which translated into a few hours of TV all in one stretch.
Since we started homeschooling, it really hit just how much TV they’d been watching. I was talking to another homeschooling mom in the park last week and she was talking about how her kids argued way more when they were in public school. It kinda hit me then how much my boys were arguing and made me remember how much nicer it was when we had more strict TV time limits in our house.
Last week was kind of our de-tox week. There was a lot of grumping about not being allowed to watch TV, and a lot of me snapping and making unreasonable threats, “If you ask me again, you may never watch TV again!” – that kind of thing.
But this week, it’s almost magical, how the shift from more TV to less TV just gives them back their imagination. They’ve been mining in our yard. It looks more like “digging a knee-deep kid-sized hole”, but they’re calling it mining and I’m encouraging it. They’ve discovered layers in the soil – clay, fine sand, fertile topsoil. They’ve found roots from a tree halfway across our yard. They’ve found grubs and earthworms, made squishy mud pies (did I mention that they’ve found that adding water to the hole makes it easier to dig?) – there’s a part of me that knows that this is unschooling at work, and I am reveling in it. But they still had a spelling test and a math test this morning. The part that I love is that yesterday, they didn’t get to go dig; we had a playdate and library day which they enjoyed as much but in a different way. This morning, that’s all they have asked to do – to go dig. So I cut short lessons – only math, spelling, reading, art appreciation (Raphael’s “St. George and the Dragon” – it’s a freakin’ dragon!) and the geography that they asked to do (Paddle to the Sea), which led to online explorations and discussions about canals and shipping lane locks. That, in addition to their digging discoveries, covers science.
This is the part I am loving about homeschooling. Yes, we still have lessons we need to work through, but there is an opportunity to learn that is self-directed. They can experiment and make discoveries for themselves, on a subject that they are motivated to explore and we can skip the pre-packaged lesson on science in favor of what they want to learn about. We have yet to crack open the science textbook (not that Charlotte Mason advocates textbooks, but I have several and figure we may as well get some use from them, when it suits us) and yet they’re learning just fine.
Warmly,
~h
We begin Week 2
…with a Mommy that doesn’t feel all that great and kids who are somewhat less cooperative than they were last week. Dare I say that the “new” is wearing off of the idea of learning at home?
There is still the dilemma of wanting to unschool and not wanting to unschool. I LOVE the concept – but practically speaking, I am not sure that.. well, in all honestly, I think I might be too lazy to be an unschooling mom. Maybe unschooling is something that you have to “come” to after a while – that seems to be the case in some families from what I have read. I do know that right now, the time it is taking me to read things myself, make sure that we’re hitting all our bases, and still work in fun things to do – it’s EXHAUSTING. And from what I have read, unschooling requires at least that much effort, maybe more if you’re doing it “right”.
The other part to the unschooling equation is faith – faith in the process of natural learning, faith that my children WILL in fact be motivated to learn the things they need to learn before they get into college – or maybe that’s part of the problem? I see my children as COLLEGE BOUND. That’s non-negotiable. Not necessarily a 4 year degree college, but at least some sort of secondary education will be strongly encouraged for our kids. This is due, in part ot the fact that neither my husband nor I have a college education, and though we’re happy, we can both see where at least some secondary education would have helped our family. So, the result is that we want every door that can be open to our children to be there for them. That means that on some level, our kids need to be prepared to function in that environment if and when they step through that door. It also means that they’ll need to have the knowledge and skills at hand to access when it comes time for things like SAT testing. I know that theoretically, if we unschool completely and our kids decide to go to college, that THEN will be the motivation to learn the skills needed to score well on the test, however, I also think that there are some things that come easier if you learn them when you’re young (and “should” have learned them, according to traditional schooling) such as multiplication tables and telling time on a face-clock. Sure, you CAN learn it later on, but there’s always a part of you that has to think about it before you get it, whereas learning by rote and repetition instills it into your psyche and you pretty much have it to call on when you need it. That’s a gross oversimplification, I realize, but the point is valid, I think.
This leads to my concerns with unschooling and why more structured “homeschooling” methods appeal to me more. Maybe I have the wrong impression or attitude about it – I am sure that some unschooling pro will come across this at some point and think, “Oh, you poor dear…”, and I hope that’s the case. I am willing to learn, and like I said, maybe unschooling is something that you have to “come” to. I know that I have learned a LOT in the last week, so if this is any indication of the trend, then I have a great big future filled with discovery in front of me.
Warmly,
~h
Attachment Parenting and Independence
I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but we follow an ‘attachment parenting‘ style philosophy with our kids. The basic idea behind this style of parenting is that by meeting a child’s need for a close attachment to their parents (through parenting practices such as extended breastfeeding, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, no ‘cry-it-out’, limited mother/child separation, etc.), you’re allowing them a firm foundation of parental trust that allows them to venture further into the world as they’re ready rather than pushing them to be too independent, too fast. The ideal throughout childhood is interdependence, not co-dependence or independence. This, in my opinion, is a healthy balance between ‘free-range parenting‘ and ‘helicopter parenting‘.
Though I believe wholeheartedly in the AP approach, I do sometimes flirt with the idea of a more free-range style in the scheme of helping your child develop independence in a ‘real world’ way, especially as the kids get older. While I do firmly believe that children are capable of doing more than parents often give them credit for, pushing them to be independent for the sake of being independent isn’t good either, which is the crux of my issues with ‘free range’ parenting. It seems like too much, too soon, and unnecessary – independence for independence sake – in virtually all of the examples I have read about.
In looking at this list, I am also torn between my perceptions of being a ‘good mother’ as my grandmother would define it (think June Cleaver) and more feminist ideals. Not that there isn’t anything good to be taken from that video; good manners are, after all, good manners; though there are some things seriously wrong with the perceptions and ideas perpetuated in it (Mom and Daughter OWE it to the men to look nice?? Don’t make Mom and Dad uncomfortable by talking about your feelings – wouldn’t want honest communication or anything…). I want my kids to know how to function in the real world – cook, clean properly, do laundry, be able to repair things in their home or on their car, and other basic skills. But I also don’t want to be the kind of parent who sees their kids as mini-servants, there to fetch and carry, thinly veneered as ‘fostering independence’.
So how does one find balance?
I would imagine that has to do with knowledge vs. expectation. Yes, I expect my kids to clean up after themselves and contribute to the running of the household (especially when the majority of the ‘mess; is theirs to begin with). But I don’t expect them to do things just because there is an arbitrary age at which to begin them. I think that child-rearing and (I don’t know what the specific term might be… I’m going to say ‘adult training’ despite the potential negative connotations… just go with it until I think of something better) are not incompatible. Adult training is part of child rearing – an integral part. I’d say that the goal of child rearing is adult training, even – preparing your children to be productive members of their family and society as adults.
But some of these things on this list make me wonder who would really expect their X-year-old to do XYZ. Taken as a general guideline or goal, and recognizing that yes, a 5-year-old can be expected to empty the trash, and fostering such skills, but that knowing how to do something does not make it his responsibility to do so, then this list is fine. I certainly helped my children to use the toaster and microwave at young ages (though admittedly, this was more so I could sleep in on weekends than it was to make them prepared to be adults), and they do have regular chores to attend to on a daily basis. But they aren’t solely responsible for fulfilling these responsibilities in the same way that you might expect an adult to fill them (i.e.: completely independently). There are still age-appropriate reminders and a parent to go behind them to make sure that whatever task was carried out completely. This is part of adult training, in my opinion. I do send my kids into the grocery store with either cash or a debit card to pick up a small list, alone. As their mother, with an eye towards their future, I present them with opportunities to explore on their own (today, we went hiking in a familiar area – they have the skill and are responsible enough to run ahead, and I allowed them to do so) and make their own decisions. But they are also given guidance and structure, especially with money (savings/contributions to charity and the like) and what our expectations of them are as members of our family. I think these are age-appropriate independences, and having my supervision (not molly-coddling) is the ‘inter-dependent’ part. They know that I will be here for them if they need me.
I’m curious to see what others think about this list, and how you prepare your children for the ‘real world’.
Warmly,
~h
May 8, 2013 | Categories: Advocacy, Attachment Parenting, Parenting, Rambling Thoughts, She said WHAT?, Socialization | Tags: attachment parenting, commentary, common sense, family, life-lessons, Parenting, raising responsible adults, random thoughts, unrealistic expectations | Leave A Comment »