Week 4 Wrap-up
So… you know all that stuff I said in my last post about ‘getting back to normal’? Yeah - you can just disregard that. We’ve been slacking for the last half of this week, though truthfully, it was a much-needed break – not because of our school schedule but because of life in general.
I was looking back at our plans for this year and I have to say that I am pretty happy with what we’ve accomplished so far this year. We’ve been working on several things cooperatively (like history and geography and literature) and the interconnectedness of such lessons makes them so much more interesting. I’d love to add art to that and plan to do so in the coming weeks. I still haven’t gotten the Artistic Pursuits book yet – also on my bossy book’s to-do list (‘bossy book’ is what SFK calls her lesson planner/appointment book – that’s a spiffy little nickname and oh-so-fitting, therefore I am adopting it with kudos to such a clever friend.)
One of our main goals for this year was to have the boys working more independently. That’s going reasonably well. We’ve been using their STARS book to keep them on-task and though we’re not yet using it to its full potential, we’re on the right track. I still haven’t gotten the file folder organizers to start our modified work-box system, but that’s also in the plans. We’ve been planning on doing some major re-modeling/decorating this spring, though how much of that we’ll get to do is in question in light of my FIL’s death and associated expenses, so some of my plans have had to be put on hold regarding school/curriculum purchases. We’ll still get there, it’ll just take a little longer.
Overall, I’m just pleased as punch about where we are right now. We’re actually off next week; the first of our scheduled breaks, and I have yet to decide if we’re going to really ‘break’ or if we’re going to keep schooling since we’ve more or less had a nice break accumulated over the last 2 weeks. I suspect it will be more of a ‘wait and see’ – we always end up with some type of school-related stuff regardless of what the bossy book says for the week.
This week has been a mix of nose-to-the-grindstone productivity and sheer laziness (or maybe mental exhaustion?). Monday and Tuesday were pretty much business as usual though with an admittedly lighter version of our normal workload. Wednesday, we had a treat – our local JASON Alliance had their yearly presentation at Lamar University. We’re pretty new to JASON, but very interested in it. I’ve looked it up several times but since it’s targeted towards older kids, I haven’t had it as a ‘for now’ in my head. This week’s presentation helped me see what it was all about. We’re fortunate to have a pretty active local alliance and several teachers who run Argonaut groups, so hopefully as the boys get older this will be something they can take part in more fully.
I do have to have a mama brag moment though – the JASON program targets kids in 4th grade and up, but my 7-year-old has engineer aspirations, so I thought that even if he didn’t ‘get’ it all, he might still find it interesting. I shouldn’t have doubted – not only was he interested, but he answered questions and grasped much more of the material than I’d thought he would. Now, whether this has anything to do with ’homeschooling’ or not, I can’t say – he may have gotten interested in all this on his own (and in fact, I suspect that he would). The ‘benefit of homeschooling’ comes in because he would not have been ‘allowed’ to participate had he been in public school – not for 2 more years. In that time, his interest in the subject may have waned or been pushed aside in favor or more accessible subject matter. Homeschooling allows me to find projects and resources that deal with things he’s interested in and cultivate his interest in a way that the public school system does not.
I think it would be so very beneficial to kids (and our future civilization) if the public educational system could be modified in such a way as to allow the children access to the subjects that they are curious about or interested in at younger ages and with an eye towards cultivating their interest and direction into future careers. It seems to me that allowing them the freedom to choose the direction of their education and having access to skilled mentors who will help direct their path would create an environment designed to help students succeed, not just academically but in life, and with fewer of the issues we see rampant today. We have that (to a small degree) in the higher-up grades, but there is nothing like that in elementary school, which is when their imagination and dreams for the future makes up such a big part of who they are – before their interest and academic self-esteem is crushed under the weight of not being able to adapt to the classroom setting or failing test scores sending the message that they’re not as smart as they thought they were.
Being back in a group classroom setting also made me see how much more beneficial having LBB out of that environment has been. Much as I might wish it differently, he just does not function well in that milieu. It’s too confining, too distracting, too static – he needs a dynamic lesson with room to move and lots of face time with the instructor. Seeing that in action again was both reassuring and reinforced my thought that kids aren’t cookie dough. Using cookie-cutter educational models is antiquated and unrealistic, not to mention the awkward position it puts kids in when they’re expected to do something that they simply cannot – not because of academic limitations, but because of physical ones – and how that impacts them when there is no one there to advocate for them.
Yes, the basics need to be addressed, but if a child has and interest in science and needs to know the periodic table because of something he’s working on, don’t you think that he’ll learn it because it pertains to something he needs? I love that idea and am working on allowing myself to trust that same principle will hold true with writing, and math and spelling. Homeschooling is definitely an adjustment process – as much for the parent/teacher as it is for the kids; one that is constantly evolving.
After Wednesday’s super science extravaganza, we’d planned on getting some basic schoolwork in yesterday, but mom slept in due to a late night gab session with her soon-to-be-relocated BFF and a bottle of wine. Each … which necessitated a White Knight rescue in the form of a drive home and a much appreciated minimum of mockery by BFF’s loverly husband of Strait Laced Scarlet fame. Not my proudest moment, but considering that this momma has ‘had’ to be driven home after over-imbibing exactly once in her life, I guess that’s not the end of the world. Considering the recent stress in my life and my BFF’s; it is clear that she and I were both due for some R & R. After a leisurely non-schooly Thursday morning, we packed up and went to SFK’s house for some art-journal/crafting goodness. The kids played inside and out, baked and watched movies… it was a lovely day well spent in good company.
Today is a lazy day as well, because who wants to pick up with a full work-load on a Friday?!? Now I’m off to make old-fashioned, on the stovetop popcorn and read a Johanna Lindsey novel clean the kitchen. Oh, if only we had a maid…
Warmly,
~h
Confessions About Art and Science
After the upset of last week’s family drama, we’ve managed to get back to a remnant of our normal glorious schedule this week. I know I’ve griped about this before, but why, oh, why must there always be those couple of days of sheer hell to re-establish our normal schedule? We can manage a weekend just fine, and we can usually go back with only a minimum of hassle after a true ‘break’, but when there is an unscheduled interruption, it just throws everything off kilter. As ever, the first day is ok, but the second day… grrrr. ‘It must be Tuesday’ has as much meaning for us as a family as it does for Buffy fans.
Now that we’re back in school, there’s a part of me that really wants us to be where we would be lesson-wise if we hadn’t taken off. In school-school, I’d have said ‘screw you and your make-up work’ and let the kids fall back into place – I’m sure they’d have adapted and glossed over whatever was missed and would probably be none the worse off for it.
However, as a homeschooling family, there is no ‘gloss over’. Ever. We focus on mastery, so when we take off, especially unscheduled breaks, the planner adapts and we pick up where we left off. But the OCD record-keeper in my brain keeps pointing to the planner and screaming, ‘LOOK!! We should be starting lesson 4 this week – not in the beginning of through lesson 3!!!” and having a panic attack. I keep trying to shut her up with coffee, but she’s a persistent little brat. I blame it on not being allowed to have a Trapper Keeper when I was younger.
In amongst all of this internal turmoil comes the dilemma of how to fit in the essential electives. I call them ‘essential electives’ because even though they’re elective (as in ‘not core’), I still think they’re very important… though not as important as the core lessons. But still very important! That said, it’s been a while since we’ve really had time for art work. I confess, I hardly ever don’t always make time for art. It seems superfluous much of the time, and as much as I know, intellectually, that spending time on art work and art lessons is time well spent in rounding our my kids’ education, it seems less important a lot of the time when we’re struggling with mastering basic math concepts or grammar. I can’t possibly be the only homeschooling mom who feels this way, nor, I am sure, am I the only homeschooling mom who constantly finds herself resolving to block out time to spend on art this week. Okay, THIS week. No really, THIS week for sure!
Well, I can now style myself better than you because, though it took everything in me to let the other stuff go for a bit so we could focus on ART, by golly, we did it. As mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been art journaling lately, and with all of my art stuff sitting out just begging to be used, I decided to make good use it and of some older books by showing the boys how to make altered book art journals using paint and collage. And it was ever so much fun! We may not have gotten around to finishing the day’s core lessons, but since we’re 4 weeks into school and have done essentially nothing that was pure art, I’d say it was an excellent use of our time.
The boys take piano lessons almost every day with my grandmother (who lives next door), so it’s not as though their lives are devoid of The Arts. We also cover some art history (or at least the evolution of art) in our history lessons and some in our literature lessons, so they’re getting the instructional/academic part to some degree – but the actual hands-on, putting pencil or paint to paper gets lost in the shuffle of ‘real’ school work, I am sad to say. It is my newfound resolve to make time for more creative goodness with my kids over the next few weeks. I’d love to say ‘maybe a little every day’, but that might be a little unrealistic. As much as I enjoy artsy-craftsy stuff, the kids aren’t always interested. So, note to self: Balance, woman! Achieve it!
Science projects also tend to get shuffled to the back burner. Part of it is the time it takes to set up and clean up, but that’s mostly just an excuse and I know it. I have had a book called Jr. Boom Academy for years and we’ve done some of them; most are little projects that are quick and easy and can be done with little to no prep (which I like). We’re not coordinating all of our science projects to our science lessons necessarily, though I am sure at some point they will overlap; ‘getting’ to do these fun little mini-experiments is more a fun reward for a day well-managed, time-wise.
Today, after the majority of our core lessons were complete, we made pseudo-putty from white glue, food coloring and borax. The book called for things like pipettes and measuring; we winged it and it turned out fine. I guess I am going to have to invest in a couple of junior science/chemistry kits if we’re going to persist in this homeschooling business. If you have one that you love, please recommend in the comments. I’ve been looking and haven’t found one that looks ‘right’.
Our homeschool group is planning a trip to the Texas Regional Homeschool Science Fair in Houston in April, not to compete, but to get the kids excited about the process, then our group is hosting our own ‘show and tell’ science fair in June. I’m really looking forward to exploring more kid-friendly projects and working with the boys on the method so that they’ll be prepared for June, and for next year’s Science Fair.
So now that I’ve fessed up about my weaknesses publicly, hopefully that will help keep me accountable. Ask me about this post in a few weeks, lol.
Warmly,
~h
When Life Gets in the Way of Homeschooling
One of the biggest benefits to homeschooling is that you can take breaks when you need them. One of the biggest drawbacks to homeschooling is that it is, at times, very easy to let life interfere with your good intentions.
This week, our normal school schedule has naturally been derailed by the death of my father-in-law. I am grateful that we’re able to adapt our schedule to what our family’s needs are without sacrificing our academic schedule. Because we can just pause, and then pick up where we left off, there won’t be a gap like there would be if we’d pulled the kids out of school for the remainder of this past week to deal with family issues. Another bonus: No ‘make-up’ work.
It’s been an odd situation as a parent/teacher. My FIL and I didn’t have the closest relationship and though there is no love lost between he and I, my children, and certainly my husband, feel the loss keenly. I am sad for them and sympathetic, but I am not as emotionally affected – at least not in the same ways, and so as a teacher and mother I am not sure how long to leave for the grieving process. I don’t want to rush the boys and I want to be respectful of their feelings and am feeling at a bit of a loss to know the ‘correct’ action here. This isn’t exactly a situation that Hallmark of Emily Post have addressed, “How to be appropriately sympathetic towards family members who are deeply affected by the loss of someone with whom your own relationship was strained”.
Both of my grandfathers died last year – within days of each other. Those deaths were expected, but still painful. We took time off from school, but not much. It felt better to me to get back into a normal routine after a few days. The boys are taking things really well; it’s hard to know with kids sometimes. They were close to their PawPaw, but kids are so resilient that it’s hard to gauge how much to address directly. We’ve so far explained to them what happened, explained to them what would happen at the service and offered them the option of seeing or not seeing his body at the service and just kinda opened the door to questions without being pushy. I feel like that’s all that needs to be done right now.
Loverly Husband went to work today, and I’d planned on working on school today – at least getting the kids’ work from earlier this week finished and graded, but we haven’t gotten to it yet. I’m feeling quite lazy, which is the con to the ‘flexibility’ point mentioned above – it would be completely easy to put school on the back burner for a while. We still have the ‘scattering of the ashes’ to be done; maybe this weekend, maybe next. That seems like the final ‘goodbye’, and it feels odd to get back to ‘normal’ until that is done, but realistically, I don’t think we can or need to take the next 2 weeks off (I guess we could… there’s just no need to).
We’ve taken this week off and I guess we’ll start back next week. Our homeschool co-op canceled for this month, so we actually aren’t missing anything school-wise. Next week, the boys have a class and I have one on Saturday, so it really will be back to normal. For today though, I think we’re about to get dressed and head to the library – in the rush of the weekend, I forgot about books that were due. Have a great weekend!
Warmly,
~h
Lapbooks and Other Updates
It’s been a long weekend, I tell ya. I cannot believe that we’re already in the third week of January. Where does the time go? We’ve been home quite a bit lately since it’s so blasted cold outside (the pic is from Park Day last week with our homeschool group. We were FREEZING and ended up at my house instead) and hitting the books hard. We’re averaging a little more than 5 hours per day, which is a LOT of school time for us. We’ll slack off when spring and summer hits, so I think it’ll even out as we hit better weather. We’ve started our history timeline (a scroll version) and have gotten a lot of use from our History Passports – the kids think that is so much fun!
We’ve made several lapbooks over the past couple of months that (shame on me) I’ve been neglectful about adding to our lapbooks list. In a burst of productivity today, I’ve updated my Lapbooks Page and added several of our newer books to the list, including our Martin Luther King, Jr. Lapbook that we did in coordination with today’s holiday.
Most of the newer additions are mini-lapbooks (meaning only one file folder), and after making them I have to say that I am starting to think that less may be more. Some of our books are multi-flap monstrosities that require an instruction manual to get folded back into submission. Not that I don’t love the big, involved ones, but these mini ones are small and clean and easy to get in and out of. They’re ‘faster’ to go though, and I think that appeals to my bouncy boys. I also like that the boys have been able to do more of the smaller books themselves. I admit it; I’m a cut-and-paste junkie, so usually I assemble and the boys add info to the mini-books, then we paste it all together. But they actually made the 10 Things ones on their own and they both turned out really well.
Some of our newer additions are:
- Robots Lapbook
- 10 Things I Learned in 2010 Lapbook
- Martin Luther King, Jr. Lapbook
- The Bossy R Lapbook
I posted a bit about our holiday lessons for MLK Jr. Day on the lapbook page, so go check that out if you have a minute.
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been quite busy – I mentioned it before, but a woman in our playgroup thought her kids had chicken pox so I brought the boys over for exposure. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have jumped the gun. I was so excited to have a case of CP locally that I didn’t stop to ask many questions. I’ve been irritated with myself for not confirming that her kids did indeed have chicken pox. Another playgroup mom who also exposed her kids took them in to see their pedi and they were diagnosed with hand, foot and mouth disease. Whether or not the first mom’s kids had it or not is unclear since she didn’t request blood work for an accurate diagnosis and confirmation. Had it been me offering up a disease for exposure, I’d have made darn sure that was for sure what it was before advertising it, but that’s just me. I think it’s also possible that the first mom’s doctor mentioned CP in a list of other things, or that she misunderstood, or that the doctor was just guessing (which would prompt me to find another doc as mis-diagnosis could lead to problems down the line) … in any case, the fault lies squarely with yours truly for not asking more questions. Hindsight is 20/20, and as much as I’d prefer my kids actually have chicken pox, next time, I’ll do more detective work before exposing my bratty kids to someone else’s germy ones. My kids haven’t been sick though, with either HFM symptoms (which would have surfaced at 3ish days post exposure and usually only is symptomatic in younger kids – mine are too old to get it, I think) or CP (which would be about now).
We had a bit of a shock this weekend; my Loverly Husband’s father passed away in his sleep sometime Friday night. He was an alcoholic, and has been off-and-on ill with complications resulting from alcoholism for the past 5 or so years, so it wasn’t a surprise, exactly, but he’d been doing better over the past few months and his death was sudden and unexpected. He and I had our differences, and I have a lot of anger towards him regarding his actions and words over the past few years, but I also recognize that he was sick and broken. I’m incredibly sad for my husband and his family that my father-in-law’s death has so many mixed emotions. I can say one thing, as much as we were at odds, he did love my kids and never treated them badly. He gets a gold star for that. Seeing my husband grieve makes me glad that our kids have each other. He’s an only child and I can’t imagine how that must feel – to lose your parent and not have anyone ‘else’.
In other news, circumcision has been a buzz word in my social circle lately. One of our playgroup moms started an ‘intactivist’ group for locals to discuss genital integrity, but so far it’s more of a choir group – all the moms are already educated on the issue and in agreement that it’s a bad thing worth fighting to abolish. That has its own joys, but I really would love to have a local place to send moms for information on the topic.
It’s always interesting to me to be on this side of the ‘mothering crusades’. I did my time as a staunch lactivist (Militant Breastfeeding Cult – huzzah!) and baby-wearing, co-sleeping, non-vaxer, and I stand by those decisions. They were best for our family and I think that they are the best approach to child-rearing, period. To this day, I haven’t seen any credible research that makes me think that those practices are anything but optimal for child-development. That’s not to say that everyone can do them, or that I am tooting my own horn in saying that I did – more that we all do the best we can with the information we have at the time. Now that my kids are older, I have other issues that I soapbox about – no less passionately – but it’s somewhat odd to me to see people stressing out over things that I am totally comfortable with now.
Back to the circ thing – my boys are both circumcised. It’s a decision that I didn’t know to question when LBB was born, and I really had only just started looking into it when PeaGreen was born. Knowing even half of what I know now, there’s no way I’d make that mistake again. As a mom, it sucks to be wrong. It makes me physically ill to dwell on the thought that I made a decision that has been harmful to my child. But that doesn’t mean that I get to bury my head in the sand and pretend that the decision is right because it’s the one I made. My job as a mother is to do the best I can do for my kids, even if it means admitting that something I did that I thought was good was, in fact, bad. I have seen several moms lately say that they’d make a different decision if they had it to do over again, and I think that hearing a mom say, ‘Yes, I did that and I wish I hadn’t. Here’s the information that helped me change my thinking.’ without being negative or judgmental is SUCH a powerful thing. It goes back to ‘sharing information’ rather than ‘giving advice’. No one wants advice, because advice implies that what you’re doing is wrong. But sharing information… sharing information is vital to supporting mothers, and I think I’ll always want to be part of that community no matter how old my kids get.
Leaving you with this quote from Dr. King:
”In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.”
Now I am off to put homemade yogurt on to set, and get ready for tomorrow’s field trip to the Forbidden Gardens. Wishing you a peaceful evening and a lovely night’s sleep,
Warmly,
~h
Long Live KICORRCCGHHJ!
(alternatively titled, “Why We Don’t Scout – A Personal Commentary That is in No Way Condemnatory of Those Who Do“)
Kate Miller at GeekMom wrote an article called Cub Scouts: Wonderful or Whack?
This is an interesting article for me because I have considered this aspect of scouting myself, and came to a somewhat similar conclusion. The comments on the article naturally bring a lot of extra commentary to the table, which made for interesting reading.
I don’t have a problem with the Boy Scouts or their Laws, necessarily. I think that open discussion about each point in the BSL is valuable; teaching the kids to think critically about the meaning of each of them and how they each relates to your own beliefs is a good thing. The Boy Scout Law states:
“A scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.”
I think the main ‘problem’ I have with the idea of a ‘law’ that a scout must follow is that, in my opinion, these are traits that PEOPLE should have, scout or not. Taking them one by one, I have no trouble with each individual trait as I would define it; but the official meaning of most of them does present the need a ‘qualifier’ to make them fit into my personal ideals.
Naturally, a well-brought-up young man will be courteous and kind and helpful. Meet a child’s physical and emotional needs, value him and what he says and thinks and he will grow up with that dynamic as ‘normal’ and will emulate that behavior in his interactions with others. I belive that this is a key step in developing traits such as loyalty, trustworthiness and bravery and to some extent covers reverence (defining that as ‘deeply respectful’ and directing that towards other people).
But I run into trouble when I read that, according to BSoA’s definition of ‘reverent’, I would be agreeing that ‘A Scout is reverent toward God’. As a secular parent, this would obviously present a problem for me. As a secular parent, I believe in respect for others deeply held beliefs, and teach my children to be also, but that’s all that I think can be reasonably requested. Even opening that statement up to ‘all Gods’ would be problematic; few enough people understand all the facets of their own religions much less the ins-and-outs of others. I do think that it is implied that the Christian God is the target of that reverence. One can’t personally hold deep reverence for something one does not believe in, and religious preference/choice/indoctrination would have a lot to do with which god or gods one believes in. As an organization that is ‘open to all’, I feel that such a statement and requirement makes for a lot of exclusions.
Moving on to ‘bravery; in our part of the world it’s quite common to come across people who hold bigoted world-views. It takes strength of character and bravery to challenge them, and I want my children to grow up knowing how to stand up for the things they believe in; to the fortitude and stamina to oppose discrimination and injustice. I tend to see the BSL version of ‘bravery’ more along that line than the ‘jump off a cliff’ variety (which smacks more of bowing to peer pressure and not being brave at all).
I can also agree to obedience – with a proviso… obedience when the directive has been weighed and deemed appropriate to follow. I’ve never been an advocate of blind obedience (and had many a hot seat to try to convince me otherwise), and really don’t expect it of my kids, either. Yes, of course there are some days when ‘explaining why’ is just beyond my limit of tolerance and I resort to, ‘Because I’m the Mom and I said so, that’s why!”, but really, my JOB as a parent is to help them become productive members of society. I can’t do that and expect them to comply if all I ever ask is blind obedience. At some point, that’ll backfire – as a member of a pretty strict religious upbringing – and though my parents didn’t expect blind obedience for the most part – I saw it again and again and again. The minute the kids were out from under the ruling thumb, they went wild. I don’t want my kids’ world to be filled with ‘no’ and demands for action without reason. I want them to think critically and have the wherewithal to weigh a request or demand and respond with the best course of action. Sometimes that will mean compliance. Sometimes, it may mean rebellion. I want them to know the difference and have the fortitude to act accordingly.
Clean, I actually do have a problem with. There seemed to be a lot of talk in the comments about ‘clean’ referring only to physical cleanliness, and yes, I can agree that BSoA does concern itself with the physical cleanliness of a growing boy and that’s fine. I actually have a couple of Boy Scout handbooks (they make great additions to our field trip box), and there are some sections that do deal with bodily cleanliness and care. But I have a hard time believing that BSoA is only using that definition when they talk about ‘clean’. I wholeheartedly believe that their ‘clean’ also infers ‘moral cleanliness’ as defined by the generally Christian point of view that homosexuals are ‘unclean’. This is not something that I pulled out of my hat; BSoA released a youth leadership statement in 2004 that echoes this line of reasoning:
- “Boy Scouts of America believes that homosexual conduct is inconsistent with the obligations in the Scout Oath and Scout Law to be morally straight and clean in thought, word, and deed. The conduct of youth members must be in compliance with the Scout Oath and Law, and membership in Boy Scouts of America is contingent upon the willingness to accept Scouting’s values and beliefs. Most boys join Scouting when they are 10 or 11 years old. As they continue in the program, all Scouts are expected to take leadership positions. In the unlikely event that an older boy were to hold himself out as homosexual, he would not be able to continue in a youth leadership position.”
What I can agree with is that BSoA does have the right to set whatever exclusionary rules that they like, as long as they remain a private organization. However, my problem is that they market themselves as ‘open to all’ when that’s not really the case. But that’s really another post. Moving on…
For ‘Friendly, Courteous and Cheerful’, I can agree with Ms. Miller’s – ‘Get out of my personality!” I’m not always friendly, courteous and cheerful, indeed, some days I am surly, rude and full of negativity. I try to stay home on those days, and certainly teach my kids to recognize those days when they strike and attempt to stay out of the limelight. It just seems manipulative to try to ‘make’ kids agree to uphold those traits all the time. I can totally see some well-meaning parent giving her kid a guilt trip on a bad day, “Remember hun! The BSL says that Scouts are cheerful and kind!”… asinine.
Trustworthy, I can agree with, but again this is something that PEOPLE should strive to be – not something that one must be a Scout to exemplify. I really don’t see how Boy Scouts could possibly instill ‘trustworthiness’ into a child. That seems to be a parental role. Loverly Husband and I underscore trustworthiness with our kids all the time. We want a good foundation built now so that when they’re 16 and asking to borrow the car, we can trust that they’ll go where they say they’re going, with whom they say they’ll be with and be back when they agreed to be back. Talking about trust and granting small freedoms now as their level of maturity and responsibility indicates lays that foundation far better than any Boy Scout activity ever could.
“So, enough with tearing down TLHFCKOCTBCR. I want to prepare for the day when BSA calls and begs me to rewrite the Boy Scout Law for them. Here’s my official redraft:
“A scout is kind, inquisitive, creative, open-minded, resilient, resourceful, confident, collaborative, globally aware, honest, helpful, and just.”
I guess that would be KICORRCCGHHJ. These are the qualities I think a boy should aspire to as he grows into a man. Or a girl into a woman for that matter. Or a transgendered child into a… oh, you get the point.”
I guess we’ll just have to work on instilling those traits into our kids without the Boy Scouts.
Huzzah!
~h
An Update on Latin
We’ve been using Anthony Gibbins’ (TuTubusLatinus) ‘Learning Latin with Virgil‘ series on YouTube as our main curriculum (of sorts) as an introduction to Latin. I love the videos, because they’re interesting (he uses South Park people to illustrate conversations – you can’t help but love that) and they’re flash-card-like, which makes it easy to actually make flash cards for them (which I have done – see here under ‘Latin’), which is a learning tool that is extremely effective for my kids. In short, I think the series is fantastic.
LLV is based on The Aeneid, Virgil’s is a classic epic poem about Aeneas. We found an ‘English for kids’ version of The Aeneid at the library yesterday and will be reading for ourselves this week so we’ll be more familiar with the story. The videos are quite simple and short, they’re easily followed and make a really nice introduction to Latin. We’re currently still working on lessons 1-3 and I imagine we’ll be there for a while still, reviewing and strengthening our foundation. I say ‘our’ because I am learning, too. We tried learning Spanish but the lessons, though perhaps more useful as we live so near Mexico, were boring. Latin is ever so much more interesting.
In browsing TuTubusLatinus’ YouTube channel, I came across another series that he did called Latin Lessons using Cambridge Latin I, which you can find online here, along with a host of other resources and activities to supplement the main video entry. This series is a little more complete as a curriculum in that it follows an actual text-book rather than literature, but it does still use stories to teach vocabulary and grammar. There are also several additional videos that go along with this set of lessons, like the Canis picture book, the Familia picture book (which uses the Griffin family of Family Guy fame), the Labor picture book, the Cibus picture book and the Gilbo series, which uses different characters (helpful for kids who memorize visual word patterns and then cheat), but mirrors the Cambridge lessons pretty closely (at least through the third video!).
I like both approaches, and we’ll continue using both, along with our flash cards and the picture book videos. Even early on in the lessons, the boys have picked up quite a bit of vocabulary, so the grammar is coming in handy. Another thing I like about learning this way is that I am not relying on my own pronunciation. There have been several words that I would have said incorrectly, so short of a formal ‘Latin class’, this is as good as having a tutor come into our home.
At some point, we’ll start the Ecce Romani series of books, but I imagine that is some time off yet. The LLV series has 20 or so videos, and the Cambridge lessons have quite a few as well. I don’t know how much the series covers that the ER books, so we may not need ER by the time we get done with the video series but we’ll probably go over it anyway just to reinforce what we’ve already learned.
If you’re interested, here’s some other fun stuff I’ve found:
Latin Alive – a short film that illustrates many of the words we use in English with Latin roots
Latin Monkey Match flashcard game
If you’re a LOST fan, then this becomes much more interesting: The Others speak Latin part I and part II.
And just because I find this extremely interesting and can foresee a time when it graces my personal library shelves, Harrius Potter et Philosophi Lapis, aka, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (or Sorcerer’s Stone in American English).
If you’ve ever thought about starting a Latin course in your homeschool, then I can definitely recommend Mr. Gibbins’ videos. They’ve been fun and engaging, and offer plenty of ‘pause and review’ opportunities that make it an interactive lesson.
Vale!
~h
Disclosure: I have not been paid or otherwise compensated to review these videos. This is my own personal opinion based on my experiences with them. I’ve found them to be educational and my kids LOVE them, so I wanted to let others know about them as a possible resource or supplemental resource for their own Latin curriculum.
Art Journaling
In putting together the ‘extras’ lesson planning posts, I was browsing YouTube for ideas and inspiration and I came across several nifty art bloggers. Suzi Blu on YouTube: I am Sacred, Overwhelmed with arttxcentrix and Art Journal Backgrounds by milliande struck me as inspirational and so I started working on my own art journal(s – now plural. I started with one, but the library’s book sale upped my materials-on-hand list by no small bit {wink}).
For my first attempt at creating an art journal, I re-purposed an old journal that has had pages ripped out and a really cheesy ‘piano, ballet slippers, rose’ motif from when I was a teenager. I’m sure it used to contain horrible teenaged-angst-y poetry and entries about how unfair everything was {rolls eyes}, but now I can confidently say that it’s being put to much better use. I covered it in brown paper, then inked a tree design into the front of it and added gesso (or white tempera paint, which works just as well – I’m sure there are good, solid artistic reasons to use gesso, but I had tempera on-hand so that’s what I used first, with near-identical results) to the inside pages, then a variety of techniques for the backgrounds, and added some images and words inside. I’ve glued and watercolored and painted and stamped and doodled; I have several really neat looking foundations to build on now for collage work. I really like Leslie Herger’s technique videos for background ideas, too.
I picked up a bunch of little books from the book sale last weekend at the library to alter for art journals – I found several with really interesting cloth covers and several that were embossed that will make excellent altered book journals and a bag full of books and magazines to tear up for pasting into more interesting configurations. Gesso covers a multitude of sins, it seems, and can be used to highlight or conceal bits in the original book as the artist wills. That’s taking liberties, calling myself an ‘artist’; my goal is to one day use that term confidently.
I picked up a couple of blank watercolor notebooks for the boys to start their own journals in as well as a couple of books to use. PeaGreen is something of a naturally skilled artist; he’d been drawing anime figures in his book while LBB prefers shockingly detailed stick-figure renditions of video game artwork in his. He’s always had incredibly expressive stick figures, and now they even have dialogue sometimes. It’s really interesting to me to see the boys bloom as creative entities. I hope that they retain that quality as they get older.
We’re planning on getting the Artistic Pursuits curriculum at some point, but it’s not been in the budget yet, so this is our current ‘art curriculum’, supplemented with concepts presented in the Core Knowledge books. I talked to Brenda with AP, and she said that the art curriculum is not structured so that book 1 – grade one, and that since they align the techniques with history, any age group will find something useful in each book (though the 1-3 books are more aimed at elementary students). We’re going to start with book 1 since we’re re-covering ancients in our history lessons, and align art with history for a well-rounded lesson. I’ve always like inter-disciplinary lesson plans; they seem to be more engaging and the kids always get more from them.
This afternoon, we’re picking up my niece from school and hitting the library for a few art-related books, then coming back home to introduce our new project to her. Hope your afternoon is filled with art and fun!
Warmly,
~h
Homeschool Teacher’s Retreat Weekend
This weekend, our homeschool group offered a ‘teacher’s retreat weekend’. This is the first one we’ve planned, and though there were just a couple of us that got to go, I’d say it was a rousing success. We had a ‘planned but flexible’ schedule that was originally envisioned as a camping retreat, but due to the weekend weather forecast, we ended up changing the location to a local hotel. That worked out splendidly since that meant we were still in town and thus able to hit a couple of stores over the course of the weekend.
We started the weekend off with a trip to a new scrapbooking store and take-out pizza and spiced rum. Our local library lost one of their storage buildings and so had a sale Friday and Saturday – thousands of books and magazines for 10 cents each. I took the kids out there Friday morning and collected a bunch of picture books and vintage magazines to cut up for art journaling. SFK & PB&JMom went browsing before they came to pick me up, and we all brought crafting supplies for the weekend. We went back to the hotel and spent most of Friday evening painting gesso onto book pages cutting out pictures and words to paste into altered book art journals.
We stayed up until about 3AM, and were up by 6:30AM Saturday morning due to the extremely uncomfortable beds and construction going on. Two words: Tile. Saw. Holy cow… they neglected to mention the construction that was going on over the entire third floor (which is where we were) of the hotel when we checked in, so when the saw started up, we got dressed and went back out to the book sale to see if there were any magazines left. When we got back to the hotel, we asked to switch rooms, which was a pain since we all had bags full of books and art supplies in addition to clothing, but the downstairs room was better – slightly more space and less tile dust to deal with. There was the ‘clink, clink, clink’ of a hammer removing tile on the floor above us for a couple of hours, but they comp’d one of the nights for us, so I guess we can’t complain too much…
Our retreat agenda included various meditation exercises, and we got to most of them. We did a nesting meditation that was slightly different from this one, also a guided exercise that had us coloring mandalas, then cutting them up and sharing them with each other. We tried for yoga, but the rooms were too small for us to stretch out effectively, so we skipped that part. Coffee and silence played a big role throughout the weekend. I was kind of surprised at that; usually we talk a lot but this weekend was full of quiet. I think that we’re all ‘on’ so much of the time that it was nice to take advantage of companionable silence and not have to be mentally engaged with someone the whole day.
We had a lovely Italian dinner Saturday night, then more crafting and wrapped up Sunday afternoon with a check-out in the freezing, windy rain, a shopping excursion (where I picked up a spiffy new blue handbag) and lunch at a Chinese Bistro. After being gone all weekend, I was expecting to return home refreshed, but the truth is that I ended up smooching my oblivious kids (‘Oh, you were gone all weekend, Mom? Weird.’) and napping for an hour on the couch, then letting my Loverly Husband make dinner and going to bed early.
Today was spent sleeping in a bit, then cracking the whip in my own general direction to get back on-task with school. We were all kind of out of sorts today; it was hard to stay focused on school work. We usually have a tough time getting back into the normal routine when there’s a disruption in the schedule, but we usually adapt pretty quick so I am expecting tomorrow to be better. Hope your week is off to a good start!
Warmly,
~h
History Passport
Since we’re starting our main history unit anew with ancients again, I decided to make a history passport for the boys. I’m pretty happy with how they turned out! I’ll tell you how I did it if you want to make your own, or feel free to use my template.
Like I mentioned in the Lesson Planning posts of late, we are using Mosaic with the Story of the World. We’re also doing a tour of the 50 states in geography, so we’ll get to use it for more than just history. I’ve found several images with travel stamps and country postage stamps that I’ll probably put into a document, print and then put through a sticker-maker so they can go into the books.
I made the boys’ passports in Microsoft Word. I made the margins narrow on a new document, then added a shape (rectangle), then copied it and placed another one next to it to make the cover and back of the passport. Then I added the text and background color, then a picture of the United States Seal (since we’re in the US. If you’re international, you could use your country’s symbol or flag or seal, or your homeschool’s symbol or crest – the options are limitless!).
For the inside pages, I created a new document and placed the same sized rectangles to make the page borders, then added a map for the background (edited to be ‘washed out’ looking) and added the lines to make the interior boxes. If I’d thought about it, I would have added text inside for ‘entry’ and ‘departure’, but I didn’t. I’ll write them in later. Once I was done with the shapes, I printed (which took some finagling to get them printed just right) and cut out, folded and stapled. Then I let the kids sign them inside. I may take the finished passports to be laminated next time I go. Leaving them closed and running them through will laminate the outsides and I can cut the opening again. We’ll see if that’s necessary.
I found some ready-made templates here:
and I have mine uploaded if you’d like to use it.
HistoryPassportTemplate_cover_ThisAdventureLife
HistoryPassportTemplate_inside_ThisAdventureLife
The boys are keeping theirs tucked into the corner of their desk calendar for easy access. So far, I hear good things about them; they’re anxious to start using them! If you’re using a pretend passport with your kids, please tell me about it in the comments. I’m interested in other things to use them for.
Warmly,
~h
Year 2, Day 1 is Complete
Instead of editing the last post to contain an update of today’s events, I decided to go ahead and post again. We started off the day a little later and a little slower than I’d planned, but overall, we had a very promising and gentle first day back. I ended up waking the boys up at about 9, and we made apple scones for breakfast. After we ate, we brought our coffee into the school room to check out their new stuff.
I stacked almost everything that they would be using this year on their desks last night (barring a few as-yet un-purchased books… budgeting constraints, you know). We went through all the books and talked about how they’ll be used, what our schedule will be like for this year and what our expectations are for this year – mine and theirs. They asked questions and had the chance to really flip through and examine the lessons and materials. I like that they were interested in what they’ll be doing. Of course, they can do this any time (the books live on their desks in the red baskets), but I enjoyed going through them with the boys and planting seeds of interest, and seeing them find things that they’re excited about getting to.
We also talked about goals and things we’d like to accomplish this year, and the boys wrote them down in their planners along with a positive affirmation for the day and a look at their STARS planners and how they’ll be used this year. By the time we were done, it was lunchtime, so they ate, then had time to look through all of my books that we’ll be using this year as well as the rest of their workbooks and other materials, and ask more questions. After that, they took off for some outside time, building a medieval hut/trading post out of the remnants of a big wooden puppet show theater that we had when they were itty bitty.
Then they came inside for storytime (we’re reading D’Aulaire’s Greek Myths for fun and Norse Myths for history) and science, then we went off to a chicken pox party. Super-suspicious LBB was less than enthused about having a sucker that a poxed 4 year old had previously sucked on, but did eventually cooperate and a lengthy discussion about Mom’s motives and why having chicken pox is infinitely preferable to vaccinating against them ensued in the car on the way to the library.
After checking out several of the books we’ll be using this week, we came back home, worked on some science vocabulary, had dinner and sent the children off to bed with an early morning of schoolwork followed by a late-morning field trip planned for tomorrow. Speaking of bed, I’m headed there myself. Hope your first day back was lovely and filled with potential!
Warmly,
~h
Welcome Back!
Monday, January 3, 2011: Year 2, Day 1 of homeschooling at T.H.E. Academy. If you’re new to ThisAdventureLife, I bid you welcome. If you’re back on the blogging wagon with the beginning of the new year and just rolling through to see what we’re up to, welcome back.
Let me start with an intro. Our cast of characters includes me, your hostess with the mostest, recently crowned ‘Queen of Homeschooling’ by an admirer, the Divine Miss ~h. {beauty pageant wave} My kids are 9-year-old LittleBoyBlue and 7.5-year-old PeaGreen. They’re somewhere between 2nd and 4th grade, depending on what subject you’re asking about, and between 3rd and 5th grades if you’re talking reading-level. For sanity’s sake, we’re calling it ‘Year 2′ and leaving it at that. The daddy-shaped figure in our home is Loverly Husband, gamer geek and techno-wizard-extraordinnaire. But enough about us…
I’ve taken the last month or so off from frequent blogging because we’ve been out of school. Our school year runs from January through the beginning of December, then we’re off for the month. Like most people, we have birthdays and holidays and family obligations that keep us busy during that time, so we plan our school year with a break in mind. After reading some blogs from families who don’t take off, I’m thinking that was a good plan! With all that vacation and relaxation, it’s given us plenty of time to rest up and start anticipating being back ‘in school’. I’ve also missed you people in blog-land! Now that our year is starting up again, I’ll be blogging pretty often again.
I wanted to take this opportunity to open the floor to questions. If you’re curious about something that I’ve written about or done, please feel free to ask in the comments. I’m not an expert (crown notwithstanding), but I’ll definitely have an opinion or two for you to contemplate. {wink}
I’m scheduling this post, so it will go up while we’re doing lessons. I’ll probably update it in the evening with a re-cap of our day, so check back if you’re interested in how our ‘first day’ went. If you’re starting back today too, then comment with a link to your blog and tell us how your first day back went, too!
Warmly,
~h
Homeschool Resolutions
I was reading Alicia Bayer’s Better Homeschool Resolutions this morning and thinking about mine. Since we started homeschooling well after the first of the year in 2010, I didn’t get the chance to make resolutions for school last year. I always make personal resolutions, and I didn’t want to mix-n-match, so I am creating a set just for homeschool.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, there’s not a lot that we’re going to ‘change’ this year. I only say that because I didn’t go into it with a ton of preconceived notions about how things were going to go, and so was able to be flexible and make changes almost every month so that my goals were better met. Not that there’s not room for improvement {wink}. There are some areas that we could stand to improve:
1: Make better/more use of JOURNALS. We have a ‘nature journal’ and a ‘science journal’ and a ‘math journal’… but their use could be much improved upon. I love the idea of an art journal as well, so we’re going to work on making better use of journals this year, both as creative outlets and as ways to showcase what they’ve learned over the year. We’re going to start fresh this year, with new journals in each subject – just regular journal sized notebooks. They’re on sale everywhere right now, but even a regular composition notebook will work for most things.
**if you’re interested in math journaling, here are a series of videos about math doodles that would make excellent additions to yours.**
2: Kids in the Kitchen! This one kinda overlaps with my personal NYRs; I keep thinking that the boys are not old enough to be able to cook unsupervised, but my friend was telling me that her girls (a little older and a little younger than mine) routinely make meals, and so I think that I am underestimating my kids’ abilities. I have a cookbook called Whole Foods for Kids to Cook that is published by La Leche League. I’ve had it since LBB was a baby (I got that and Whole Foods for Babies and Toddlers when I was making baby food – both excellent books!!) but haven’t every used it… so we’re using that as a curriculum of sorts this year.
3: Patience, patience, patience… this is an on-going effort for me, and proof positive that homeschooling does not = patient moms. I have a tendency to be quick and sharp in criticism, especially when my expectations aren’t being met, so my goal this year is to chill the frak out. I am working hard to remind myself that there is plenty of time, and that when they’re having fun, they’re learning more. I have an am re-reading How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen so Your Kids Will Talk by Faber & Mazlish. They also have one called How to Talk so Your Kids Will Learn at Home and in School that I am ordering. It’s probably an overlap of techniques, but sometimes I need my hand held in a, ‘say THIS, not that’, ‘do THIS, not that’ kind of way. (Siblings Without Rivalry is a great book, too!)
4: Stay Strong all the way through each mod! One of the things noticed this past year is that I had a tendency to start slacking around the end of week 5 of each mod. Things would be fine up until that point and then I’d fizzle out. I’ve adjusted out schedule this year – each mod is 2 four-week sessions with a break in the middle instead of a long 6 weeks. I am hoping that schedule will fit better into what has become our ‘natural’ rhythm.
5: Word-A-Day. I really have a thing for archaic words, so websites like www.savethewords.org are quite popular in my browser history. One of my English teachers used to assign a word every week from The Superior Person’s Book of Words, which I always looked forward to. The kids have started attempting to make snide comments to each other, and as a sibling myself, I know that trying to stop that altogether is nigh impossible. If I have to hear it, then I think they can at least learn something from it and make their insults worth listening to. We’re going to start doing that with an eye towards increasing and improving vocabulary.
That’s only 5, but I think that’s a reasonable, reachable number. I think that these will be fun and interesting challenges to meet this year, and I am looking forward to getting started. Tomorrow is our first day ‘back to school’, and we’re ready!
Warmly,
~h
NYR: The 2011 Version
For the past few years, I’ve blogged my NYR’s on my MySpace blog. But since no one uses MySpace anymore, I’ve decided to import my resolutions here. My usual format is to post this year’s resolutions, and then do a re-cap of previous year’s with progress reports as needed. It’s a long post (so feel free to skip most of it. I’m blogging this more for my own accountability and record-keeping than for public consumption), but I find it entertaining and see no reason to alter that format, so without further adieu, here are 2011′s New Year’s Resolutions (completed on 12/31 and scheduled to be posted on 1/1 – FINALLY, a resolutions post made on the first day of the New Year!):
1: Home Blessing – this has been on the books for a while, and will finally see real progress this year. This resolution encompasses all the de-cluttering/cleaning goals from years past and includes anything related to making our home a nicer place to live in. We’re planning a major re-decorating/face-lift to our house in the spring, including painting inside and out, switching our bedroom into the master bedroom (which is currently doing time as a storage/library/craft room) and putting the boys in their own bedrooms. We’ll also do some appliance upgrades and redecorate. I’m excited!!
2: Teach the boys to cook. SFK was bragging about her 9-year-old dd making a four-course meal; I’m jealous and so shall attempt to teach the boys more about the culinary arts this year. The goal is to have them make at least one full meal each by… December 1st. That should give me plenty of time.
3: Attend a Writer’s Conference/Workshop (or a homeschooling one). Both would be ideal, but attendance at one or the other will fulfill this one. This is a re-hash of a previous resolution; before it was ‘attend monthly group meetings’. I think that the monthly group would be good to do, too, but I really want to try for a conference or workshop that is more in my field (so romance or sci-fi/fantasy or para-normal romance. And no, you can’t read them…yet).
4: Try veganism on for a week. I’ve tried vegetarianism on (it doesn’t fit), but never veganism. It’ll be a challenge.
5: Personal Growth. This is the one that I am lumping the rest of my writing goals and all of my health/weight loss goals into, as well as parenting goals (such as putting into practice/deeper study of NVC). I always have a couple of these listed, and I think it’s kinda cheating to have 4 of the same, on-going goals… so. I’m also putting things like: continue meeting meditation and spiritual goals, making time for ‘me’, blogging/writing something daily, etc. Some friends and I are re-committing to SparkPeople.com for this year (so if you wanna join me, come on!). I have many goals in that particular department, but I blog there too, so that’s where most of that goes.
6: Date Night with Loverly Husband at least 1x per month. We used to do this at least that often, but this year, it seems like that’s taken a backseat. Between homeschooling and him working more, it’s been harder to find time to go out. It’s not a ‘problem’, but I’d rather focus on this now, before it becomes a problem. One the plus side, we did get a mini-break in 2010, with plans for another in a couple of months. Yay!!
7: Dye my hair. Note to self: For the love of all that is salon, please visit the beauty supply shop and DO SOMETHING about your hair!!!! It’s been months – MONTHS – since you’ve put color in it. You have 6 inches of natural hair color. WTF?? That’s simply unacceptable. One cannot remain worthy of the moniker ‘Rainbow Brite’ with one’s natural hair color slapping people in the face. Before the month of January is out, you must fix this! And keep it fixed. All year.
8: Plan for lunch out better. When the kids were little, I had food for them on me all. the. time. I breastfed them for 3 years each, and I believe that had an effect on how they eat now. They’ve always eaten frequent small meals throughout the day; with no big meals and no set times, that meant that as an in-tune mama I needed to keep food in the bag so that I could meet their needs. When they started school, they had to adjust to a more common eating schedule and I got out of the habit of keeping food with us. Since we started homeschooling, they’ve fallen back into their normal eating patterns but I have not. So my goal for this year is to plan for food better – packing a cooler with appropriate small meals and snacks when we go out. This will help me with #5 as well.
9: Do something about my wardrobe. I am putting this one separate from the ‘home blessing’ because it’s not really about making space or de-cluttering (though that does play a part). I have a bunch of clothes that don’t fit (both too small and too large) and that are out-dated that I’ve held on to. It’s time to let go! I don’t necessarily need new clothes (though if certain portions of #5 are carried out, I may), but I would like for the clothes that are taking up my space to be ones that I like and wear.
I would do 10 because it’s such a nice, round number, but it’s become somewhat of a tradition to only make 9. So that’s my list for this year. I don’t usually post progress reports during the year, so don’t feel bad if you forget all about them until the end of December, lol. This officially concludes the ‘current resolutions’ portion of this post. If you’re interested to see how previous resolutions have held up over the years, feel free to read on!
2010′s Resolutions and Progress Report: Written on Jan. 2, 2010: Doing better… last year, I didn’t write resolutions till the 4th. That’s progress, baby!
I bought, like 4 new hats and have worn them all. And they look awesome, if I do say so myself. Go me! That makes me happy. My hat collection is ever-growing and still awesome.
That last bit still makes me smile. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone else’s resolutions and to seeing how you fared from last year. Good luck reaching them and Happy New Year!!
The CRC vs. Parental Rights
While looking for picture for the ‘parents as experts‘ post, I came across this blog debating the CRC vs. Parental Rights. Now, keep in mind that the Parental Rights site/group seems to be made up primarily of right-wing Christian organizations and while I am decidedly not in agreement with everything that group espouses, I am interested in the debate.
My intent in writing the ‘parents as experts’ post was originally to promote parental confidence and empowerment in the face of friends/family/pediatricians/behavioral therapists who disagree or criticize your parenting style or methods (particularly if the naysayer is authoritarian or strong disciplinarian and you’ve chosen a route that is… not), but the issues raised by the CRC and the Opposition are interesting, and I believe that they deserve my attention (and resulting lengthy commentary).
Although there are many, many points that I’d like to address, the ones that stand out glaringly in such a way as to create the beginnings of a headache right behind my left eye are points number 1 & 3, which read:
My question is, how do you know that children calling for reviews of their parents’ decisions will be rare? I’m also curious if this blogger has any idea how introducing such a standard into practice could impact families. Even little decisions could be called into question – sure, that’s unlikely on a large-scale, but suppose someone makes a complaint about you to CPS. Upon investigation, it comes to light that your child ‘disagrees’ with many things that you, as a parent, have deemed to be right and good and in their best interests. That possibility is by no means uncommon, but with the weight of the CRC behind them, this could easily lead to long-term interference in your family’s dynamic.
‘Why is this wrong’, we’re asked? First of all, just because you, the parent, have research and professional opinions on your side does NOT mean that you’re going to be proven right or allowed to continue as you were when under investigation by ‘the authorities’. Remember that they always have their own professionals who have opinions which may very well conflict with yours. Child protective organizations nationwide have cases where normal parents – GOOD parents who simply do things differently than the mainstream – have had their decisions called into question, been put under investigation and had their children removed and traumatized because some overzealous social worker or opinionated old-school judge disagreed with the parent’s decisions.
As a parent, there are decisions to make every single day. Sometimes you’re going to do the best/right thing, sometimes you’re going to make a mistake – but few parents deliberately make bad decisions out of malice. On virtually every issue there are two sides to consider. Then you have to weigh the information against incoming advice from well-meaning friends and family, and take into consideration your own biases before coming to a decision. In many cases, even having clear-cut medical reasoning and sound scientific grounding on your side is not always enough to combat mainstream corporate America with its death grip on dictating what is normal and acceptable and therefore ‘best’. If you doubt that, start doing some research on any controversial parenting topic and you’ll see what I mean.
Giving a child the power to question a parent’s right to decide and make decisions for themselves is ludicrous. Children do not have the knowledge or life experience to make the kinds of decisions that parents have to make every day. Parents are responsible for shaping the whole person of their child – nurturing and molding an essentially self-centered being into a productive and functional member of society. Children do not possess the forethought to see how today’s actions impact tomorrow’s results and cannot possibly be expected to weigh the required information needed to make those kinds of decisions for themselves. That’s more than many parents are capable of, which is why policies like the CRC sound like a good idea to some - to save children from incompetent or under-educated parents. Why not address the actual ‘problem’ rather than tear down the structure of the family in an attempt to fix it?
Um, actually… NO. And here’s why:
While I agree that in some cases it might be appropriate for a government or other authority to interfere for the benefit of the child, giving any ole government worker the authority to intervene simply because they don’t agree with the parent’s decision is playing with FIRE. In fact, there are already safeguards in place within the existing agencies to protect the safety of the child – pediatricians, hospital employees, teachers, school nurses all are obligated to report suspicion of abuse or neglect to the authorities who then investigate – and even the limited powers that those agencies can be and have been exploited because of a mere difference of opinion. The system is by no means perfect, and children do fall through the cracks, but as tragic as that is, the answer to this problem is not punishing or discriminating against parents as a class of society.
You have heard the adage about opinions, right? Even the most pedestrian governmental worker can have an opinion. They may think that they know best when in reality they have little or no experience with children or child-rearing and they certainly cannot style themselves as authorities on your particular child. Giving them the power to usurp parental authority without clear, documented and proven danger or harm to the child’s physical, emotional or educational being is wrong, wrong, wrong.
For example, take the decision not to vaccinate. That’s a touchy and highly controversial topic that most educated parents labor over. Even the experts are divided on the topic. The bottom line is that as the parent, that is MY decision to make. If my decision conflicts with the opinions of others – of doctors and scientists even, is it the wrong decision? There is ample evidence on either side of that equation, so who gets the final say on whether or not I am neglecting or harming my children by not vaccinating? I feel that vaccinations are toxic and that the risks associated with getting them overshadow the as yet unproven potential benefits of getting them. I have one child whom I believe to be negatively affected by the few vaccinations he did have, and I will FIGHT to ensure that his body is not further used as a guinea pig by the entities in government who are supposed to put his needs and best interests first but don’t.
I take issue with the statement, “As flawed as governments are, as stupid and biased as politicians can be, then tend to be somewhat influenced by experts in the area of child development when it comes to this stuff.” In a world where we’re constantly bombarded with news coverage about how studies on this medical topic or that public health issue are funded by big pharma, or how policies are enacted to prevent lawsuits, or how mothers are arrested for refusing to submit to invasive medical procedures because a judge disagrees with her decision… I think it is patently obvious that governments and their agents are more influenced by money and kickbacks than they are by The Facts(tm).
My decision not to vaccinate was not one that was made lightly, or on a whim. It was a carefully and painstakingly researched decision made after long hours of contemplation, studiously examining the material available and consulting with professionals who are able to debate rationally on the subject. Because this is such a highly controversial subject, my decision is one that I have had to defend to ‘authorities’ who disagree with me. At the end of the day, my base argument is that THIS IS MY CHILD. I GET TO MAKE THE DECISIONS REGARDING HIS CARE. PERIOD. That’s my ace in the hole when dealing with people in authority positions who have a differing opinion from mine. My point in this illustration is that even when you have experts on your side, that may not be enough. I daresay that I know more about the dangers and risks associated with vaccination than your average WIC or Medicaid employee. Yet as governmental authorities, would they have the power to override my decisions, despite my superior knowledge on the subject in general and personal history of my child? The CRC certainly puts that out there as a possibility.
I think one of my main objections to the CRC is that it sets the stage, even invites the government into the family. I don’t think that’s a place the gov’t has any right to be. Personal freedom is something that American treasure – it’s a basic right that we all believe we possess and are conditioned to fight for. The CRC seems to give the child ‘rights’ above and beyond basic HUMAN rights. I think human rights cover them plenty. The US has the largest scale abuse of the legal system in the world – the CRC puts avenues in place for children to legally question every move that their parents make – which ties up already overworked caseworkers and brings them into a situation where they have no business being. Children could be removed from homes when there is nothing more than a disagreement and the CRC only gives more weight to those kids of cases. We’ll end up spending millions in taxpayer money to handle these cases (because no child I know can afford a lawyer – yet one must be provided to see to the child’s interests in the debate). There are also the costs of foster care and the wages of the additional employees to oversee each and every complaint.
I see the CRC as setting the stage for pitting parents against children. We’re supposed to be promoting family unity, not declaring all out war on parents. It seems to me that a better use for all that money would be in founding public education programs and parenting support groups, and ensuring that the places that parents already go to seek information and support (like their doctors) are giving evidence/research-based and non-biased information. Take steps to ensure access to information and protection from advertising, like starting with comprehensive sex-education in schools and banning the distribution of formula samples on maternity wards at hospitals and kickbacks to doctors for medication promotions that pharmaceutical companies are using to taint the information pool.
As for the religious components… it is a parent’s responsibility to share their beliefs with their child – to direct and guide. Yes, some take that to the extreme, but again – unless there is abuse and the child can be moved to a safe environment, then the child WILL eventually grow up and have the opportunity to make different choices. You can’t dictate every aspect of the population’s life and as a country that was essentially founded on Christian piers, most of our citizens are deeply rooted in their faith and want to share that with their kids. Some religions go so far as to teach that their way is the only way to salvation. Some faiths DO teach – as tenets of their faith – that people of other religions will not share the same glorious future; some teach that people who do not share their faith will be destroyed in a holy war. That’s not hate, exactly, but that type of mindset doesn’t breed tolerance, acceptance or help one set of people peaceably coexist with another – and that can be counted under the CRC’s anti-hate policy… which comes very close to if not treading all over freedom of religion… which is one of the cornerstones of the United States. While I personally disagree with that kind of mindset and dogmatic religious thinking, I do respect the RIGHT of any American to believe as they choose. I don’t ally myself with any organized religion, but I do believe that parents should have the right to freedom of religion and belief, and to enforce that in their own households.
I will say that I vehemently disagree with the notion that opposing the CRC has anything to do with belief in ‘owning’ our children. I think that is a rather simplistic viewpoint that does not take into consideration the many, many ways in which the CRC’s points can be mishandled or used against parents. My opposition comes into play because of my deeply held sense of responsibility to do what is best for my children, especially when my decisions are questioned by authority figures. I think that the majority of parents feel duty and responsibility towards their children – obligation to them and in that, my fellow bloggers and I are in agreement – having children is a monumental responsibility that should not be undertaken lightly.
I don’t know any parents who had children to get something out of it. There is also a sense of interdependency in virtually all of the families I know – I have yet to sense a need for liberation of the child from the tyranny of parental authority among most families. The CRC seems to me to set parents up for attack and to foster the idea that parents exist only by the grace of authority and a warning to overstep those bounds at your own risk.
I think that very few people see children as chattel – comparing the state of children to women or black people or Chinese people in the past is inaccurate because grown women and African-Americans and the Chinese are fully functioning beings. Children would not survive without caregivers – without parents to set limits that children do not have the mental skills or life experience to see the benefit of. Women, slaves and oppressed peoples have never been less intelligent or less capable than their ‘keepers’, and though children may be intelligent, few would argue that children have the same level of common sense, experience and forethought/benefit of hindsight that adults have. The same holds true for such things as medical treatment – not elective procedures that can be put off until the child is an adult, but for life-saving treatment - you betcha that is both my right and responsibility to determine the best course of action for my child’s treatment. Neither ‘right’ nor ‘responsibility’ of that statement can be over-emphasized - they are equally important and both should be minded with the utmost care.
Regarding DaMomma’s post, her ‘Parent’s Bill of No-Rights’ was posted in regard to a TN proposal that would give virtually all divorced parents 50/50 custody of (and therefore ‘rights’ to) their child. I think that using that list in defense of the CRC is misleading – when parents divorce, there are many, many issues at play and often the competency of one parent or both is called into question. In that situation, you’re already inviting gov’t into your family. The CRC intrudes where no invitation was issued and interference is unwelcome.
That said, and thought I agree with many, I also disagree with some of DaMomma’s points; I absolutely believe that I am entitled to respect – both as a parent and as a PERSON. I would be a poor parent indeed if I did not teach my children to respect others – starting with the members of their own family. It goes hand-in-hand with the idea that respect is earned, not freely given; I teach best by modeling. I respect myself, I respect my husband, and I respect my kids. In turn, I expect – and rightfully so – respect from all of those people in return. Additionally, I absolutely have the right to see my own children. Unless I have done something to them that is in such disregard for their well-being so as to require the removal of my parental rights – I absolutely have the right to see and care for my own child. Divorcing parents may need to defend that right in the light of unjust attacks on their character by a vindictive ex-spouse, but most parents aren’t, and should not be, subject to that process. Setting up government in place to superseded that right is madness.
Again, I go back to thinking that money would be well-spent in social educational and support programs that are designed to provide unbiased information – all of the information, from all sides to review and implement according to their own philosophy. Parents who perpetuate the mistakes that previous generations have made do so not because they don’t love their children, but because they HONESTLY BELIEVE that it is the best or only way to properly raise their children. I am here to tell you that I have personally seen the difference that education and support can make in a mother’s mindset and world-view. Seeing a mother who had an elective c-section, circ’d her baby boy in the hospital and formula fed make completely opposite choices after being regularly exposed to mothers with different ways of doing things reinforces my belief that access to information and support is the key – not mandating laws which seem good on the surface but open doors to the destruction of the family as we know it. I don’t think that opposition to the CRC has anything to do with ‘child ownership’. I think opposing the CRC has everything to do with the autonomy of the family and living up to the many, heavy responsibilities that come along with those rights.
Warmly,
~h
Additional Resources:
http://childrightscampaign.org/documents/OppositiontotheCRC.pdf
http://homeschooling.suite101.com/article.cfm/legitimate-homeschool-socialization-concerns
January 23, 2011 | Categories: Advocacy, Circumcision, Parenting, Rambling Thoughts, Religion, She said WHAT?, Vaccination | Tags: commentary, family, Parenting, raising responsible adults | 13 Comments »