Magical Monday
Monday is generally not my favorite day of the week, but as Mondays go, this one started out much better than anticipated. We got up pretty early – our plans would keep us out for most of the morning, so I wanted some time to check my email and stuff before we left. Okay, I confess, the real reason was because I created a Facebook page for my blog since all the cool kids were doing it for theirs (and if you haven’t yet, you should totally “like” it and subscribe to my blog – go ahead! There’s a box in the sidebar!!) and wanted to see who my ‘real’ friends are… {shame} yes, my vanity knows no bounds. {/shame}
Moving on…
The McFaddin Ward House is a former private residence turned museum that has really impressed me with their offerings of kid-friendly activity this summer. I don’t know if I just never saw any of their summer programs or if the inclusion of kids in the activity lineup is something new – whatever the case, they’ve had some really interesting and educational offerings that we have taken full advantage of in the past few weeks. There are still several things happening this Summer and Fall that we’re going to do, including a day-camp for kids 8-12 that explores life in the 1940′s. If you’re local to Southeast Texas, I’d recommend bookmarking their site and checking back in the Spring to see what they have planned for next Summer. I heard something about the theme being ‘behind the curtain’, dealing with seeing how the servants contributed to the household and featuring Mary Poppins… definitely something fun to plan on.
This week’s feature was a screening of Disney’s Bedknobs and Broomsticks. We’ve been reading the books by Mary Norton with the intention of finishing them before the movie, but time got away from us so our discussion on the differences between the original story and the adaptation will have to wait. I’d never been to the Visitor’s Center – in fact, had never realized that the McFaddin-Ward Complex was so big. Spanning 2 full city blocks, with at least 5 buildings, it’s quite a large estate for being in the middle of downtown. It took us a couple of tries to get to the right spot, but when we got there we were greeted warmly and ushered right into the screening room. We were a wee bit late, so the movie was already started by the time we got there. The kids settled in and I went to sign in; when I did, one of the ladies said that I could pick the kids up at 12:15…
I have a mini-rant here. I don’t see the value in drop-offs that are only an hour or two. Maybe I’m crazy, but the point of summer ‘stuff to do’ from my perspective is so that we can do them together. It bugs me that moms with little kids – oh, they weren’t babies or anything; probably around the same ages as my kids – but it bothers me that the mom can’t even take a couple of hours out of her busy schedule to stay and watch a movie with them. Not only that, but who leaves their kids with strangers?? Not that the ladies that work and volunteer with MFW are suspect or anything, but your kids don’t know them, and they don’t really know your kids. It’s such a common practice here. Almost everything is a ‘drop off’ event. I don’t usually leave my kids and am always either the only parent, or one of a couple… it’s quite odd to me. Whatever. As my mom says, “You screw your kids up your way, and I’ll screw my kids up my way.”
In any case, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen the movie, and I’d forgotten how many educational discussion opportunities are brought up in such a relatively short time span.
The kids even got to be in the “Seen” section of a local paper:
“Bedknobs and Broomsticks” at the McFaddin-Ward House Visitor Center
The children in the film were evacuated from London during the Blitz bombings during World War II. As a homeschooling parent, if you can’t find at least 3 points of discussion in that sentence, then shame on you! We talked about children being orphaned, foster families and adoption (social studies), WWII & The Blitz (history) and where London and England are (geography).
It rained again today, ruining our plans to hit the post office to send out our next Postcrossing cards, so we came back home with the intent of furthering the English flair our day had taken on (after all, Professor Brown does talk about doing things ‘with flair’ in the film) with a lunch of Bangers and Mash, Texas style. We had sliced jalapeño sausage links and loaded mashed potatoes with apples and oranges. We’re Southern, and it’s deep into Summertime here, so we replaced hot tea with sweet tea over ice, naturally.
We also had to read about why plain old sausages are called ‘bangers’…apparently, the sausages made during WWII rationing had a tendency to explode when cooked on high heat, hence ‘bangers’. ‘Mash’ was easy – they’re mashed potatoes.
After lunch, we threw in a couple of quick science experiments – ‘acid egg bath’ and ‘sparkling star dip’ from Super Science Concoctions. I know I said it before, but seriously – if you’re homeschooling, this is a ‘must have’ book! The acid egg bath is basically a hard-boiled egg in vinegar for a few hours. Fred read the directions while I washed dishes and though she swears that she did say “hard-boiled egg’, I don’t remember hearing that part – so the kids will have a different result than the one explained in the book. We’ve been working under the assertion that ‘In Science, there are no experiments that are done “wrong”. If the experiment yields data, then it was a success.” Tomorrow, before we leave, we’ll put a hard-boiled egg in vinegar to process and compare the two when we get home.
The star dip solution is just Borax dissolved into boiling water until the water is super-saturated, then you suspend a pipe cleaner shape in a jar filled with the solution. As it cools, the Borax will crystallize on the pipe cleaners. I’m excited about seeing the results of this one in the morning!
It’s really rewarding that as we’ve checked the progress of these experiments this afternoon and evening, the kids have all asked intelligent questions and made good observations. I know that it probably has nothing to do with ‘me’, per se, but having them really be mentally present as we’re doing things like makes me feel like we’re doing something ‘right’. That’s a huge boost to my confidence that, “I can do this. I AM doing this!”
After our mad scientist phase wore off, we got to play White Knight to my friend SFK’s Damsel in Distress. She found an awesome slate chalkboard that someone was getting rid of and sent out a distress call for assistance wrestling the great behemoth into the back of her truck. The size of this monstrosity was evidently misrepresented. However much of a pain it was for two delicate flowers such as we to move, it’s a total homeschooling score and if I wasn’t sporting lovely slate chalk boards of my own, I would have been completely jealous (though hers is a lovely gray that I like better than the tan/brown color of my own…).
Since we were out and about again, we did end up hitting the post office after all and got cards off to Pittsburgh, PA and China (more geography). We did get our first postcard in the mail this past week – from Miami. The card was a Disney Villains card, and it came from a teacher. Since beginning Postcrossing, I find that we are in need of a good-sized world map that we can tack up on the wall. That’s definitely in my shopping plans for next week.
All in all, I’d say that today was a fantabulous start to our week! Tomorrow’s plans include a movie with no educational value whatsoever, the library and possibly a cameo on a locally filmed television show. Stay tuned!
Warmly,
~h
Friday, Rainy Friday…
So our plans with friends to spend the afternoon in the pool got rained out… again. It stormed so hard that our lights went out for a while, so we decided to get dressed and go to the book store for a bit. Right about the time we were ready to leave, it started really pouring, and the lights came back on so we stayed home.
Changing plans that many time in such a short amount of time did not make for happy campers; in fact, PeaGreen has been downright grouchy for most of the day. As much as I sympathize, I do not control the weather and sometimes we simply must be flexible – whether we like it or not.
I did take advantage of a brief pause in the rain to weed the garden a bit – well, I say “garden” – it’s TINY, but growing! We have actual tomatoes now, which is awesome, especially if you remember what we started with in March.
Fortunately for the kids, it’s Super Science Concoctions to the rescue! If you haven’t checked this book out, you totally should. It’s SUPER cheap on Amazon – only one penny (plus shipping). Definitely adding this to our ever-growing library.
We spent half an hour making marshmalloids – tasty foam colloids, also known as marshmallows* – from gelatin, vanilla and sugar.
Just add 2 packets of unflavored gelatin to 1c. of boiling water, dissolve; then add 1c. sugar and 2tsp. vanilla and mix for about 20 minutes. Then cover and we refrigerated since it’s summertime and rather warm. After a half hour or so, they’re ready! We made some hot chocolate and topped them with homemade marshmallows.
*Do keep in mind that this is a kiddie experiment and not gourmet marshmallows. If you’re looking for that, try this recipe!
Now that it has stopped raining, I think we are going to go on out to the pool!
Warmly,
~h
PSA: Get Out There and Support Your Roller Girls!
As a woman, have you ever thought about joining a team sport? I know I certainly had not… at least until our ‘family skate night’ started getting all these chicks in black fish-nets and hot pants showing up. I knew they were my kinda girls – and lo and behold, they were derby girls! I tried it, and ultimately it’s not for me to play, but I LOVE seeing my sister play! My sister is a roller girl – she’s a jammer for the Spindletop Rollergirls and she is amazing.
There are a lot of misconceptions about roller derby – that it’s violent or dangerous, or that it’s not a kid-friendly environment or that it’s a ‘rough crowd’. While there certainly may be elements of that in some areas, it’s not a dynamic that I’ve seen – and certainly it’s less violent than other team sports! The people who love roller derby are there to support the athletes and enjoy the game – just like any other sporting event. And since many of them are completely normal in every way – some have children with them, even babies – they’re polite and friendly and kind, just as you would expect.
The women who play roller derby are not who you think they are, either. Sure, they may be tattooed or have hair that’s dyed a funky color and names that might scare you off, but once you strip away the Roller Girl Persona, you’ll find moms, lawyers, housewives, entrepreneurs, teachers – women you see at the bank or the grocery store – or your kids’ school! Watching these women on and off the track is a pleasure – you can see how hard they’ve worked to become a single unit with every interaction between team mates. That camaraderie and confidence has to carry over into other areas of their lives. How Roller Derby Can Save Your Life is an article that talks about the seldom-seen from the outside benefits of being on a team, and it’s what made me want to write this post. Women often think that sports are ‘not for them’, and derby is helping to change that. It’s a cool think to see!
Think roller derby is not for kids? Think again! Every game we’ve been to has had a ton of kids there. Roller derby isn’t such a formal game that the kids are banished to seats, sitting still for hours on end. It’s a fast-paced game with lots of people standing up and hollering and cheering. There is usually a lot of space for kids who are more active, so they can get up and play – even running around is fine. Encourage your kidlet to pick a favorite team member – make posters and yell her name. She’ll be flattered to see her name glittering in the team’s colors. And if you’re homeschooling, there’s a math lesson to be had in the counting and points system, as well as an opportunity to talk about pack behavior (tie that to wolves) and team sportsmanship.
Ever thought about playing roller derby? First of all, throw out your preconceived notions. Roller derby is a sport, first and foremost. These women are athletes – they train hard, they play hard. But they do it with safety in mind. That’s not to say that injuries don’t occur (just ask Ruby Ridikule, whom we wish the very speediest of recoveries…), but then you get nifty things like titanium rods inserted so you’ll never break that leg again! Just like any sport, there is an element of risk – but what’s life without a little bit of terror thrown in to keep you on your toes? Ask any roller girl why she does it and she’ll probably mention something about skating being cheaper than therapy. That was mentioned in the article and I know that’s true because I’ve actually heard other roller girls say something along those lines. Aside from getting into shape – and I’ve watched several of these women shape their bodies and get toned and fit over the last year and a half – it’s also a great way for “me time”. There are also opportunities for you to get your family involved in your sport. My sister’s husband and daughter often train with her in both team-planned and free time sessions – biking, outdoor skating, running – it’s a great way for families to get some exercise together, too.
If you’d like to give it a try, pick up your gear – you’ll need skates (you need derby skates, not roller-rink skates), knee and elbow pads, mouth guard and helmet:
and head out to Manning’s Roller Rink on College and give the Recreational League a try. They do have a couple of sets of borrow-able gear, but if you want those, come early!! The Rec League meets every Sunday at 8PM and it’s $7.00 per person (must be 18). If you’re not in this area, then check your local roller rinks and see if there’s a derby league in your area.
If playing isn’t for you, then commit to taking your kids out to see a game. Check here to find a League in your area. Be sure to check the Apprentice League section for newer and not-yet-listed leagues. You’ll have a great time, and so will the kids! Not sure how roller derby is played? Watch this beforehand so you know what’s going on: Roller Derby Explained . Learn more about Roller Derby at the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association website.
Happy Midsummer!
I wish I could say that we’ve been ultra-productive this week, but the truth is that we’ve been taking it pretty easy. Adding in a new car note (we upgraded to a minivan at the end of April) has taken some getting used to budget-wise, so even doing free stuff is taking some planning with regard to gas money. Happily though, we’re adjusting and I’m proud of myself for keeping (mostly) within the budget even in weeks where I didn’t plan very well.
Monday was the summer solstice, also called Litha. It’s a time of letting go of things that are finished, or habits you’d like to break. In celebration, the kids and I spent some time writing down some of the things we wish to let go of. I chose impatience for one. You’d think a homeschooling mother would be blessed with limitless patience to cultivate young minds – but alas, that is not the case. Sadly, I am impatient by nature and though I try not to let that spill over onto the kids, it does on occasion. I try to apologize when it does, so at the very least they are learning that being grown-up does not make you mistake-free.
The kids wrote down a few things too and once they were written, we rolled the notes and burned them up as a symbol of those things going up and away. We also said some prayers and blessings for our friends and family and watched those wishes float away in the smoke.
Tuesday is our science day (hence the previous excitement over ‘Scientific Tuesday’ You Tube videos). We had a lesson planned, but we skipped that in favor of watching two Southern House Spiders perform their mating ritual in their web(s) around one of our speakers in the living room. We weren’t sure what kind of spiders they were, and since they look so different, we weren’t sure if they were fighting or not. We found a list of Texas spiders at the TX Agricultural Extension Service website (through Texas A&M Univ.) and found the pictures of the male and female, and the found this site that tells about their webs (which are not sticky; they drag their legs across the silk strands to fray them, which traps insects’ bristly legs) and their habitat and behavior. The internet is SUCH a wonderful tool in cases like this!
Tuesday was also Library Day – we went downtown to the ‘big library’ and met some friends. The Summer Reading Club is in full swing, and I’m proud of the boys – they’re both closing in on 10 books each, and have turned in their first list for the contest drawings that happen each week. They’re not going as quickly as I’d have preferred, but I’m trying to let them move at their own pace, and appreciate the work they ARE doing instead of wishing they were ahead.
We started working on book reports this week. Well, pre-cursors to book reports, anyway. We’re identifying the title and author, ”who, where, what” and whether or not they recommend the book or not. They’re doing fairly well. Any writing assignment is typically met with resistance, but they’re doing it so I can’t complain too much.
After that, we went over to the Civic Center to see the ‘surprise event’ – which turned out to be the Pioneer Lady again. The boys were excited – they apparently enjoyed seeing her the first time more than I’d thought. They had more questions this time (though they didn’t interrupt her to ask them, thankfully – I guess those conversations about listening to a speaker and waiting until she asks for questions to raise our hand have sunk in a bit, eh?) and enjoyed showing their friends how to do the activities. She had different stuff, too, which was nice. The Pioneer Lady told a story about Native American Buffalo Hunters and how the boys of a tribe would race on all fours to see who was the fastest, and then he would get to accompany the hunters on their hunt under the guise of playing a buffalo. She held a race similar to that in the back of the room and the boys really enjoyed that.
Wednesday, we had a couple of lessons in the morning and then continued reading “Bedknob and Broomstick” by Mary Norton. We’re going to see the Disney movie on Monday, so we’re reading the books this week in preparation. This is an omnibus edition that has Norton’s two ‘witchy’ books in one in it. We looked for them at our library and found that they don’t carry these books of hers at all. Since they have the entire collection of her “Borrowers” books, I can only assume that since this is the ‘Bible Belt”, they’re opposed to them. However, they do carry the Harry Potter series, so maybe that’s not it? It seems odd to me that they choose not to carry the witchy books though. I got our copy from Amazon.com for $1.00 - a good deal, I think!
I’ve also been working on a new quilt. My grandmother gave me a ton of old fabric, and most of it is stuff that I probably wouldn’t use for anything else – weird fabrics like that old polyester leisure suit material… they make good blankets if nothing else, and we’re woefully short on them (esp when company comes to spend the night), so I decided to make some. I’m just doing simple blocked quilts – nothing fancy – and machine quilting them (which is harder than it looks!) in a round-about pattern. I think I am going to do the next one in quilted squares. It’s not finished yet, but it’s coming along nicely:
Wednesday afternoon was supposed to be a day spent in the pool with friends, but it started raining right about the time our friends got here, so the kids played games while I visited, and then they watched ‘Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’ – not terribly educational, I know, but hey – it’s summer!
Tomorrow’s plans include a trip to the splash park and grocery shopping, and Friday is a do-over of today’s afternoon gone awry.
Warmly,
~h
Instead of Vaccinations
There is a lot of info out there on ‘why you shouldn’t vaccinate’ and personal stories about ‘why we don’t vaccinate’. A little harder to find but still available is info on alternatives to vaccination, like homeopathic ‘vaccines’ and making your own. But there really isn’t much out there that is from a personal perspective that says ’this is what we do instead of vaccinating’, so I decided to share our secrets to health despite not following the recommended vaccination schedule.
To begin with, I think it must be said/reiterated that choosing not to vaccinate is in no way saying, “Now we are risk-free”. Please don’t assume that just by not vaccinating, you’re now 100% safe, health-wise. we all know that there are no guarantees in life. By not vaccinating, you’re accepting the possibility that your child may come down with whooping-cough (pertussis), or polio, or diphtheria… of course, vaccinating is not a guarantee that your child won’t come down with the same, but that’s not really what this post is about. Choosing not to vaccinate merely means that you deem the risk of an adverse reaction to a vaccine more likely than being exposed to/contracting/dying from the disease it is supposed to prevent.
One of the main things that I feel is important when choosing not to vaccinate is to familiarize yourself with the illness that the vaccine is for and get a better idea of what the real risks associated with that disease are. First, you’ll want to evaluate what your chances of even being exposed to a ‘vaccine preventable diseases’ . In many cases, it’s been decades since there was an ‘outbreak’, and in many of those cases, and outbreak consisted of less than 50 victims. Most VPDs are not instantly fatal as the propaganda would have you believe. Even dreaded polio is not the wheelchair-inevitable fate that media has made it appear. In fact, less than 1% of people who contract polio have the paralytic variety, and of those paralysis is not always permanent. Though polio is not one of them, many illnesses can be treated with simple antibiotics. If you’re choosing not to vaccinate, then be proactive – learn about treatment options for those illnesses and most importantly, learn what not to do. Though treating symptoms might be fine in some instances, in others it’s best to let nature run its course.
(1) Breastfeeding. This is a big one – possibly the single most beneficial thing that we did that helps protect our kids the most against many of the things that they might need a vaccine for.Colostrum is baby’s first vaccine. I cannot overstate how important breastfeeding is from a biological standpoint, especially when you’re talking about the immune system. There are so many components in human breast milk that scientists cannot even identify, much less figure out what their function is. So when formulas say they’re “more like breastmilk”, that only hold true in that they’re both matter in liquid form. Breastmilk is a LIVING ever-changing substance that is tailor-made to your child’s immediate and evolving needs. Formula is a (hopefully – when it’s not contaminated and recalled) sterile and inert substance that is created from a by-product of the dairy industry. If you want the down and dirty truth about the formula industry, check out Milk, Money and Madness by Naomi Baumslag.
I breastfed my kids for right at 3 years (slightly longer with LittleBoyBlue, slightly less than with PeaGreen). In total, I spent over 4 years continuously breastfeeding, which has a TON of benefits for ME, too. Breastfeeding has long-term benefits to the immune system that artificial formula feeding simply cannot replicate. Some people (doctors included) are mistaken in believing that the immunological benefits of breast milk start to decline or deteriorate after a certain point, however research does not back that claim.
(2) Don’t Panic. There is research that suggests that certain childhood diseases play a role in strengthening the immune system and lessening the likelihood of developing things like asthma and allergies as the child ages. So in light of that, we try to be realistic in dealing with illnesses and not panic just because they’re sick (which has been thankfully rare). Now, keep in mind that some things are genetic – I have severe environmental and some food allergies and asthma. Because of this, there is a strong probability that some or all of my offspring will have some type of allergy and/or respiratory issues, and they do. Both my boys have environmental allergies and PeaGreen takes a daily script in allergy season to keep the breathing treatments to a minimum. Because of MY genetics, no amount of breastfeeding, herbs or whatever is going to be proof against such things. I know that thanks to breastfeeding, my kids don’t have issues anywhere near as bad as they might have had we not breastfed. Ear infections were a non-issue until LittleBoyBlue started Kindergarten (though since they’ve been homeschooled, neither has been sick a single day – not so much as a cold; contrasted with the last 2 years and multiple sinus infections for LittleBoyBlue. Do I think homeschooling plays a role in my kids good health? ABSOLUTELY)…. which brings me to my next point:
(3) Homeschooling. After dealing with our first ear and sinus infections once my kids started school, not to mention the numerous coughs, colds and other various sniffles and ailments – I am convinced that schools are breeding grounds for infection. Not that it’s their fault, exactly. Anyone who has one will tell you that kids are nasty little creatures. Most have a near-impermeable outer shell of dirt and contagious bacteria that is next to impossible to crack. You get 20+ kids in a room all day for months on end and you’re going to have some unhealthy growths going on in there no matter how much hand-sanitizer you squirt on them. Plus, we teach our kids to share, so that’s also a big problem during flu season since they do, indeed, share… germs! It’s not necessarily the kids that are the issue (though they are carriers…). It’s that they’re all in ONE room most of the time, day in and day out. Homeschooling is obviously not going to expose your kids to a room full of pent-up and breeding germs (unless you’re the world’s worst housekeeper – but even then, they’re YOUR germ and your kids have a sort of natural immunity to germs that your family breeds… which brings me to my next point…).
(4) Home Birth. Now, I must point out that I did not have either of my kids at home, but if I were to have another, that would definitely be the plan. I had my first in the hospital with a midwife (a compromise with my husband, who was adamantly against home birth at the time) and we spent 3 days in the hospital (only 2 after he was born). We limited visitors, but there were always a ton of hospital personnel in and out, carrying various hospital germs with them. With my second, we looked more in-depth into planing a home birth but ultimately decided against it because our choice of attendant was severely limited. I had PeaGreen in a Houston hospital, again with a midwife, and we were home 24 hours after his birth. That was awesome! We had way less personnel in our room, and since it was farther away we had virtually no visitors, which was nice. The point of all that is that even with limited exposure, hospitals are truly for those who are injured, ill or dying. They’re breeding grounds for drug-resistant bacteria and super-microbes that your average bug only wishes to be. That’s one reason why they want to limit hospital stays for new moms and babes (the other being that insurance companies don’t want to continue footing the bill once you’ve popped that kid out). The germs that are in your home are yours. Your body and immune system, and hence, your baby’s, are already exposed to and used to the germs that belong to you and your family.
(5) See a Chiropractor. Chiropractic care can have positive benefits to the immune system. I really wish that I had learned about the benefits of chiropractic care during pregnancy and for babies. I’ve taken my kids both to the chiro, and after some initial apprehension, they both love going (in fact, we need to go again soon!). I am also an advocate of chiro care – after my births, I had some issues with my bones that didn’t move back into their proper positions, which caused some pain that I just dealt with for years. Once I started seeing a chiro and had a six-week therapy program, the pain was mostly gone. Now I am supposed to go in for maintenance every 6 weeks or so.
(6) Probiotics, herbs, nutrition and dietary supplements also play a big part in keeping my family healthy. There are tons of homeopathic blends that are designed to target specific areas of health. We take a cold and sinus blend during flu season, and an allergy blend during times when our allergies are not flaring up (when we use prescription meds – because breathing is always beneficial to your health). We also use various vitamin and probiotic supplements to keep healthy flora growing to offset the nasty stuff, especially when we’re done with a prescription. This kind of thing is super easy to add to smoothies or into plain water (the homeopathic liquids) since they have no taste. When my kiddos were babes, we delayed solid foods and I made their baby food – well, with LittleBoyBlue, I did. With PeaGreen, we didn’t do baby food at all; we went straight to table food. Naturally, that much attention to what they were eating carried over into our food, and I can happily say that we are much more conscious of what goes into our mouths since we’ve had children. Not that we don’t eat out, or eat fast food – because we do. We just try to limit it, and make sure that most of what we buy and prepare at home is truly good for us.
(7) Get Dirty. We also make sure that our kids get lots of time outside in the dirt. I mentioned before the outer coating of dirt and bacteria – since they get bathed fairly regularly (not daily – we’re not ultra-kleen-freeks here), it’s important to replace that grit and grime so that they stay healthy. We also try to limit our exposure to toxic chemicals in our home. We mostly use natural cleaning products (though I occasionally must bleach…) and vent well if we’re using something that has fumes.
So that’s about it. And thought I’m no scientist, I can say that based on preliminary results, this method is safe and effective. My kids have yet to come down with a single VPD, and are both quite healthy overall. They’re growing well and seem to be thriving in spite of the dire predictions from vaccine supporters.
What do you do?
Warmly,
~h
We Must Speak Out.
I’ve been aware of and vocal in other internet arenas about the horror of the writings, teaching and actions by followers of Michael and Debi Pearl for years. Between them and Gary Ezzo’s Babywise series, I’ve had many conversations about these books and philosophy, both with moms online and in real life, and once even with Anne Marie Ezzo herself, and I have yet to find any value in what reads like a ‘how to’ manual for child abuse. In fact, many of the methods purported to help you raise perfect children are so completely contrary to the notion of biblical ‘grace’ that it makes me wonder how people who profess to imitate Jesus could be so blind. It literally makes me ill to hear people defend these books and even more so the people who wrote them.
I will say that I don’t think that parents intentionally pick these books up with the intent of harming their children. I do think that they love their kids, and in most cases were looking to ‘do things right’. I wholeheartedly believe that these parents are misguided and blinded by the continued assertion within those materials that these flat-out abusive practices are ‘godly’ or ‘Christian’. While numerous religious authorities have condemned these books and methods, I think that Helen E. Aardsma said it best in her article that reaches out to mothers to listen to their hearts rather than men when it comes to nurturing children.
It’s actually been a while since I’ve crossed paths with rabid Pearl/Ezzo supporters, but in reading and scanning more mommy-blogs (and special thanks to MuseMama for her post and picture that inspired this), it’s come to my attention that I’ve been remiss in letting these books and philosophies go uncondemned here, so consider this my PSA for today:
BOYCOTT Michael and Debi Pearl
and their books, including ‘To Train Up A Child’ and ‘No Greater Joy’ ministry.
THIS is ‘The Rod” that was recommended as the ideal tool for hitting children. It is no longer being sold. For a while, this, ‘The Wee Whacker‘, was an alternative or replacement. Thankfully, these companies have both discontinued making their appalling products, but parents are still using things that the Pearls recommend, like plumbing supply line, to ‘train’ their children. And then to call it ‘Biblical’?! This is insanity. This is abuse. And it MUST STOP.
BOYCOTT Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo
and the ‘Babywise’ series of books, Growing Families International (GFI) and ‘Growing Families God’s Way’ seminars and other materials.
In 2000, Christianity Today declared Gary Ezzo unfit to teach anyone anything about Christian parenting. That says a lot right there! In Parenting Book Challenges Standard Medical Practice, Eric Patterson discusses why Ezzo’s ‘parent directed feeding’ method is actually damaging, especially to breastfed babies. You can find more links at Fresno Family, including one to one of many churches that has discontinued using Ezzo’s materials. Interesting reading, that. Again, parents responded to the claims that using his methods will garner you perfect children, and instead, you have children with broken spirits … just broken.
As Kittie Franz says, a child is not an inconvenience that must be managed.
From birth, a child is a whole human being and human beings are born with basic, inherent rights. It is my sincere belief that the Pearls’/TTUAC and the Ezzo/Babywise methods violate those rights and in doing so, do irreparable damage to children. I hope that you feel similarly and will take this opportunity to speak out against them as well.
Because I hatehatehate reading those kinds of sites, both the venomous hatred towards children that they spew and the inevitable victims’ stories that come with them, I’m balancing it out with some good ones – advice and blogs – that inspire me to be a better mom. There are also several in my Blogroll in the sidebar – check those out, too.
The Meanest Mom Raising Olives Mamapundit (warning – newer posts deal with drug addiction, child loss and the journey that results from such)
And this gem from ‘Big Bang Theory‘
Now I need to go hug my kids (well, smooch them while they’re sleeping since bedtime was a few hours ago).
Warmly,
~h
Thursday’s Child
Well, we were going to do the Elephant Toothpaste thing today, but I found that we were lacking peroxide. Of all things – I would have thought the yeast would be the most problematic. However, with my bread-making phase a couple of months ago, we have plenty of that still (which reminds me that I need to put a starter on in a few minutes…)
So, lacking the proper ingredients for that, we went with pine cone bird feeders. We collected a fair number of longleaf pine cones from Village Creek State Park a few weeks ago for this exact activity. We tied a string around them, then slathered them in peanut butter and rolled them in birdseed, then hung them in the yard.
I also got out the sewing machine and made some (long overdue) curtains for the living room window. We have a window unit AC that has to be dealt with that has made keeping the sun out and the room cool a challenge. So I tacked up a long piece of the deco fabric in the window and added a strip of the same fabric, turned the other direction to the curtains themselves. The effect is nice, I think.
The kids are getting restless, so I think we’re headed out to the pool for some fun in the sun… again {smile}
Warmly,
~h
Scientific Tuesdays & Wednesday Crafting
How fortuitous that I should stumble across Scientific Tuesdays on YouTube since Tuesday is our science day! There are quite a few nifty little projects that are super easy – and can be done with stuff you probably have on hand at home, which makes it all the more accessible.
The Milk Trick:
Tuesday was a really nice day. We went to pick up my niece, Fred, this morning and headed off to the theater for a Summer Movie Club that some of our local theaters do every summer. Even though we’ve seen it several times, you can’t beat $1 per ticket to see Kung-Fu Panda! After that, we went to the downtown brand of our library system to turn in reading club stuff and collect a couple more books. Then headed out to Riverfront Park. It’s one of the prettiest parks in our area, I think. It borders the Neches River and it very peaceful.
We had a minor debate over whether or not this was a caboose or an engine… the kids voted caboose since it’s red (“All cabooses are red, Mom”, I was informed by my 6-year-old) but I say it’s an engine since… well, it’s got a big honkin’ ENGINE. {wink} What do you think?
We went walking down the boardwalk (in the sunshine, mind you) to the play area. we weren’t there for ten minutes when it started to sprinkle a bit. Before we could get packed up again, it started to rain. We were so far away from our car that hurrying would be pointless, so we decided to enjoy being caught in it and posed for a couple of pictures.
We made the long trek back through the park and up the stairs, at which point it stopped raining, leaving the air humid and damp and just sapping the energy out of all of us. We made it back to the car and had a drink and went over to the art museum to pass the time until our 2PM class. This collage has long been one of my favorite pieces at the museum, and the kids got to see it again at the Art to Go class we did last week. The presenter had a slide show with different types of art, and this was one of the examples. So the kids really enjoyed getting to see a piece they were familiar with in another context and have the chance to examine it more fully. They found tons of little things - skeletons, pencils, rulers, gum wrappers, beads, plastic animals; it’s really an amazing piece.
Then finally, it was time to head out to the Civic Center for “Skins and Skulls” with Ranger Keith! I have to say that I was SO impressed by Ranger Keith. It’s rare that people who do stuff like this seem to truly enjoy children. He went out of his way to learn all the kids names – probably 30 kids all together – and call them by name during the course of the hour-long presentation. He gets a big Gold Star for that and probably a letter thanking him for coming.
After all this running around, I was TIRED so we came home, had some lovely tomatoes (fresh from the farmer’s market!) and mozzarella for a snack and then I went to read (Infinity by Sherrilyn Kenyon. It was good {thumbs up}) for a bit and ended up taking a much-needed nap.
Wednesday was just as busy. I got up early to go have coffee with my BFF and my sister came to drop Fred off, so we all got to sit around and visit for a bit. After that, we headed out to SFK’s house for Summer Solstice crafting. We made Sun Crowns from jasmine vines and decorated them with silk flowers, glitter, ribbon and gold wire. They turned out spectacular.
After that, the Summer Reading Club strikes again with a visit from Houston Zoo’s mobile unit. The kids got to check out all kinds of animal skulls, skins, feathers and even pet a couple of live ones – a lizard, a gecko and a ferret. They were stoked about it since they had just seen similar stuff the day before – this was more exotic though. Elephant skin, a toucan’s beak, and owl’s skull, a python’s HUGE skin… my kids asked a question for every single thing Ms. Elizabeth brought out. She was extremely patient!
After that, we headed back home – well, we’d planned to. We made an impromptu visit to Tyrell Park to try to find the Secret Garden that is rumoured to exist. We didn’t find that, but we did get to feed some goldfish, turtles and koi, and I got to snap a couple of good pix of the troika (as they’re frequently called when all together) that I love so much.
After walking around the park for an hour, we decided that a before-dinner dip in the pool was in order, so we grabbed a quick snack and changed into swim wear and hit the pool.
At this moment, all three are sound asleep – Fred elected to spend the night with us; and I’m anticipating a very quiet evening since Loverly Husband has likewise fallen asleep on the couch while I am blogging. {smile}
Next week’s (or maybe Thursday’s) science experiment: Elephant Toothpaste Trick This looks like so much fun! I also have been browsing mommy-blogs over the last few days and found some interesting stuff that you might like, too, so I thought I’d share.
A Magical Childhood – I LOVELOVELOVE her “Ten Ways to Make Today Magical’ posts – love them! My favorite (so far)? “Go to another town and on the way make up totally different identities for yourselves. All day, call yourselves by your fake names and play along with your alternate life. Encourage the kids to really get creative for eavesdroppers.”
I also like her love-note pillows, land art and the idea to write and mail letters to each other.
Art Projects for Kids and The Art Cart
And Sneaky Hate Spiral is one of my favorites… you’ll be able to relate, I’m sure! Happy Reading!
Warmly,
~h
Cost Effective Eco-Consciousness
I’ve been trying to write this post about the dilemma that I, and I’m sure lots of moms on limited budgets, have. The issue is the high cost of organically and/or availability of locally grown produce, and the cost of ‘green’ or ‘natural’ cleaning, beauty and household products vs. mainstream ones. Thrown into this issue as well are the extremely high and un-covered by insurance alternative healthcare options like homeopathy, herbs and supplements, acupuncture/acupressure and other such things are. It seems that the things that are less chemically toxic, better for the environment and that promote overall health instead of merely masking symptoms are usually out of reach when you’re not in that top 10% of the financial bracket.
This post was prompted, in part, by this article over atPeaceful Parenting‘s blog. The point of the article being posted on that blog was absolutely valid – the question, “Are we really saving money on groceries today if we have a bigger health bill tomorrow?” is definitely one to ponder. The issue I have with this lies in the comments section. I was appalled and annoyed at the judgement and condemnation that I saw there. Only one person mentioned the financial straits that some parents are faced with that makes the grocery game (and learning to play it well) something that some families need to do in order to feed their families.
For me, personally, our situation is not that dire but learning to coupon better and keep track of what we have on-hand and what we need to add to that for specific recipes would stretch our grocery budget. In some cases, that would mean not choosing the ‘greener’ option but choosing to buy what I had a coupon for. That’s not to say that I don’t make better nutritional/less processed choices when possible, but I’m inclined to make my dollar go as far as it can, and if playing the grocery game can help with that then I’m willing to do that. The problem is that articles like that one, and the comments that accompany it make me feel like I’m spinning my wheels – instead of getting healthier by eating better, am I un-doing whatever the good stuff has done by picking something ‘less’?
Then the conspiracy theorist in me comes out to play… the part of me that says, “Sure, you can eat better foods, but you can’t avoid the toxins in literally every other aspect of your life. The air we breathe and the soil our local produce is grown in is tainted beyond redemption thanks to the oil and paper/logging industries that keep our local economy afloat.” And let’s not forget about the insecticides that the county comes out with to keep the mosquito population from carrying us away (and the Off! that I spray my kids down with when they’re going to be outside for a long time – which we have to use because they’re allergic to the soy-based alternatives we’ve tried – and going bug-spray-less means lots of skeeter bites that itch, which means lots of lidocaine being slathered on because they’re allergic to bites, without which leads to infection and scarring - so, a little deet is the lesser of about four evils in that scenario).
It makes me wonder just how much of the organic/green buzz is pure propaganda. Does it make THAT much of a difference what you eat and what you clean your house with when so many other areas of your life are filled with toxins and chemical exposure that you cannot avoid? I just don’t know.
In the process of trying to write this post (this is the 3rd draft…), I kept getting distracted with the thought that a lot of my complaining when it comes to the cost factor sounds like excuses. Even though some of it is valid (like the probability that companies who make many of the greener products have caught on to the fact that people will simply pay more for those products and have no incentive to bring the cost down to a more comparable level), a lot of it comes down to choice. very time I start to say, “It costs too much”, I get conflicted with the fact that we spent $7 at Chick Fil A the other day. Granted, that’s the only time we’ll go to CFA until the week after next, but still… Then there’s the fact that if I worked, finances would be less of an issue (but then, not really, because at least during the summers, I’d only be working to pay for childcare; and the toll that working would take on my family would be prohibitive as well – so me working really isn’t an option).
What I’ve come to realize is that the good thing about being truly eco-conscious is that as long as you’re willing to forgo the flashy, showy, “Look how AWARE and INVOLVED in SAVING THE EARTH I am!!” stuff, keeping your home clean and eating with organic in mind is not all that hard to do. Frugality goes hand-in-hand with eco-consciousness, so thrift shopping and recycling clothing and household goods happily plays into this as well. Things like cleaning with vinegar, baking soda, borax, essential oils and castile soap – and making your own soaps and bath/beauty products. The fun thing about that is that it doubles as a hobby – so that’s more bang for your buck! Instead of buying re-usable shopping bags, make them from old sheets and clothing. Better yet, help the kids make and decorate them! Call it arts and crafts {smile}. Curtains, toys and decorating can also be liberated from old clothes and sheets. Art quilts, re-purposing old tee shirts and sweaters, even fabric scraps can be made into something awesome.
Let’s not forget about gardening and composting and vermicomposting! If you have boys, this is something they’ll dig most enthusiastically (girls, too – I’m not being sexist, lol). Growing your own little garden is (relatively) easy and requires less work than you might think. Now, I’m not talking about growing huge amounts of food or anything, esp. to start with. But you can grow a few tomatoes, onions and other fruits and veg fairly easily to supplement what you buy. We’ve been saving seeds from nearly everything lately – especially cherries! I have visions of a cherry tree-lined driveway in a few years…. We’re just getting started with the whole gardening/composting thing – but I’ll tell you what – going to visit and having your child finish up a banana and ask, “Hey Mom, where’s the compost bin?” at someone else’s house makes you smile.
I will say that some of the things that are most expensive to start with are good quality essential oils and herbs. Herbs, you can actually grow and dry yourself – and you can infuse them with intent as they’re growing, which is a nice touch, esp if you’re going to be using them for healing in your home. Oils – splurge. Buy from a reputable company and you’ll get more out of the product. Even if you just want to dabble, get the good stuff. Inferior quality oils don’t hold their fragrance and you won’t want to use the product you made. Also, if you’re using herbs and essential oils in a medicinal capacity you definitely want the best you can find. Some oils are more expensive than others. Start with more affordable oils and buy one at a time to build your collection. When you’re literally using drops at a time, they tend to last a while.
I guess what was really bugging me was the judgmental attitude from those who either aren’t faced with the same financial considerations, or just didn’t think before they wrote. It bugs me that most of those people probably have more than a couple of eco-consciousness contradictions in their lives – we all do. For some of us, diet is our main focus, for others, it may be household upgrades (like solar power, rain water collection or the like), for others it may be something else. There’s a fine line between taking advantage of modern conveniences and knowing which of those to forgo in favor of meeting whatever ideal is important at the moment. I think that every step we take with mindful intent, we’re improving the health and lives of our families, and that is what is important.
Warmly,
~h
Get Outdoors!
Apparently, today is National Get Outdoors Day. I only found out about it by accident, when I stumbled across A Magical Childhood’s blog, linked to from Peaceful Parenting,which I was reading for another post that will go up in the next few days on eco-consciousness – so look for that!
Anyhoo… we had a full day outdoors planned already, so I’m glad that we got to participate in the national event, even if it was only consciously for the afternoon. As I’ve mentioned before, our Farmer’s Market is on Saturdays, and we’re trying to go every other week (which is when we grocery shop). This was the second time we’ve gotten to go, and the first time we’ve actually bought something. I found some absolutely gorgeous tomatoes, huge blackberries (big as my thumb!), lovely little blueberries, honey from local bees, bell peppers and onions. The kids were hot and hungry and whiney, as evidenced by their expressions:
so we were only there for about 45 minutes – I woke the kids up, dressed them and we were out the door sans breakfast, so we went through McDonalds (I know, I know – but it’s a rare indulgence) for McGriddles for the boys and to Chick Fil A for chickin-minis and coffee (that lovely, delicious, life-sustaining elixir of life – COFFEE!!) for me.
The market was just teeming with activity this morning. It was nice to be out and about so early. I’m typically not a morning person, but lately, I’ve come to respect (if not full-on ‘enjoy’) the early morning. I’ve been getting up when my husband leaves for work, so I’ve had some time – usually no more than half an hour or so - before the kids get up and it’s really nice to have the time to myself.
We had to wait a while between breakfast and the kids’ workshop at Lowe’s, so while the kids played, I revised our calendar for the next couple of months. Our Library’s Summer Reading Program has a ton of events and I didn’t realize that it would be the same presentation at multiple locations, so we double-booked on a couple. Then we headed over to the post office to mail off our first 5 PostCrossing postcards – to Greece, Austria, the Czech Republic, Germany and Brazil. It’s a really neat site – you register and send out postcards to people all over the world, and then your name goes into the post and you get postcards from all over. You have the opportunity to contact each other after the postcard is received, so I would imagine that you could pick up an international pen-pal if you were so inclined. One of our postcard recipients has a daughter that is 8, so we’re going to send her a postcard as well. The optimist-homeschool-mom in me totally sees that playing out in a pen-pal sort of way, lol. Whether the boys will be interested in writing to her or not is probably a different matter! In any case, whatever postcards we get are going to be going up on a wall in our school room, and we’ll add a push-pin to a wall map to track the ones we send out in one color and the ones we get back in another color. I’m excited about it!
Once we got to Lowe’s, some friends of ours, LittleBoyBlue’s best friend from school and his mom and some of our homeschooling friends, came and met us to do the craft. The kids made a picture frame. This was by far the most complicated build we’ve had so far. Granted, this is only our third class, but still. They did a great job building them though, and had fun visiting with their friends. It’s been hard coordinating busy schedules to get the kids together lately; I’m really glad we had a chance to do that today.
After working with man-tools, we went over to Michael’s craft store for a more artsy Father’s Day themed craft – a hand-painted camouflage picture frame. I doubt that our dad will actually get the frame – he’s not really a picture frame kinda guy; but he will appreciate the craftsmanship and artistic allure of their work, I am sure. Michael’s also had a ceramic mug with markers that is actually the craft for tomorrow – we might just go back since they’ll be on sale for $1.50 – plus you get to keep the markers, which are permanent on anything ceramic. I can just see all kinds of uses for ceramic markers. It’s amazing how blank and plain all our white dishes are now in my mind {wink}.
Factor in a trip to the grocery store to re-stock the pantry for the next 2 weeks, and then we headed back home for a lunch of fresh fruit and veggies, sandwiches and I think the kids had ramen noodles. Not my favorite, but they do enjoy cooking “worms”, as they call them. It’s one of the few things that they can cook mostly by themselves. Now that I think about it, they probably could cook more. Maybe we’ll work on that in home-ec this coming week.
After catching up on this week’s Merlin, we changed clothes and headed out to the pool (after checking on our tomatoes, which are GROWING!!), where we spent the rest of the afternoon. My mom and my grandmother came out to swim with us, so we had a nice little visit with them – one of the perks of living next door to two sets of relatives, I think.
All in all, I’d say that today was well-spent. I hope your family was able to Get outdoors and enjoy some family-togetherness fun today!
Warmly,
~h
CBC Day 5 and 6
Forgive me for not making this post more interesting. I have a couple of drafts I’m working on for ‘real’ blog posts, but I wanted to get my CBC work posted tonight. If you’re following, I’m working on Madeline Bea’s Creativity Boot Camp. She started it this past Sunday, and it’s a really interesting course. Harder than I had anticipated, but I’m enjoying being a part of it.
Day 5′s theme is GROW – nothing says “grow” more to me than a round belly full of baby.
I’ve drawn this image before, in pastels. There are some differences. My previous incarnation of this picture had long black hair that swirled around her shoulders and belly. The figure was leaner and taller – both are not ‘realistic’ (which is fine with me). I’m not adept at drawing breasts, apparently. How hard could it be – cavemen can do it, right? Well, it’s harder than it seems, I’ll tell ya. I will say that I like the pastel picture better than this one. It’s in color and that makes it seem more lifelike, or ‘lighter’ somehow. This seems really depressing to me.
Part of what makes this particular image meaningful for me now is that June marks one year since I lost my last baby. He or she would have been born in December. That was my first miscarriage – a learning experience that I so wish that I had not had the opportunity to have. It’s painful to think that right now, possibly right this minute, I should be nursing an almost 6 month old baby. Add to that the fact that we’ve been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for nearly a year now and for whatever reason have instead been ‘blessed’ with secondary infertility… it’s not a pleasant place to be. But we’re managing.
On the brighter side (not that there is really a ‘brighter side’ to that kind of hell – but you carry on, because there really isn’t another option), if I was mothering a new baby, I most likely wouldn’t be going through this boot camp course.
I am not as pleased with my work (myself?) during this course as I had hoped I would be. I’m used to being ‘teacher’s pet’ (weird since I haven’t been in class since I was, what… 16??) and having my work be really… something. Perhaps it’s the medium? I wanted to choose something that is challenging – drawing is obviously not one of my strengths. I do much better with abstract painting/drawing/imaging than trying to depict real scenes. I’m definitely challenged. I am looking forward to doing this class again with another medium – one that is perhaps easier for me. I’m thinking photography, and then again with writing. I am working on stories already, so that will have to go into my journal as well.
Moving on…
Day 6 was FLUID.
This was sitting on my desk upside down and my husband came in and said, “Volcano?” o_O Not realizing that the picture was turned in the wrong direction, I was surprised, as that was definitely not what I had in mind. I was kinda worried that my skills were even less than I had imagined – then he turned the paper rightways and said, “Oh. Water droplet. Gotcha.” Thank goodness. Then I looked at it upside down and realized that since it looks nothing like a volcano, even upside down, maybe my husband’s perception is off.
Back to the picture… this didn’t turn out like I wanted. I really should have used pastels – in fact, I could have, since the assignment was to do something ‘different’. I may do it over again later on with pastels. I can see a lot of blue and white and black in this piece that just doesn’t come through in black and white.
So there you have it – my contributions for the last 2 days to the continued development of my inner artiste. We have a crazy-busy day planned for tomorrow (which you’ll get to read all about when I blog it with pictures) so I am hoping that our lovely Boot Camp instructor posts tomorrow’s assignment at midnight so I can start contemplating how to put that concept on paper.
Goodnight all!
Warmly,
~h
Lesson Planing for M4 (June-July 2010)
Welcome back!
If you’re just joining me, then be warned – this post might get a tad overwhelming. Every 6 weeks, my kids and I take a break from school and relax… well, they relax; I plan our next 6 weeks! This is the time when I go back through all the websites and homeschool materials I have to refresh my memory on all the cool things I wanted to try and lessons I wanted to do with the kids. I usually post a lot of links and reference a lot of materials, so if you’re starting out this might be a good place to look to get ideas or to find spiffy little homeschooling gems that you might not have come across yet.
If you’re joining me again as I plan this next module, then I’d love to hear if my posts have helped you. I’d also love to hear from you about how you plan or what some of your favorite materials and resources are.
In scanning some of my earlier posts, I just realized that my previous “lesson planning” post had a huge mistake in it – the title is “LPing for M2″ and it was actually M3 that was being planned – so if you noticed that, then you get a gold star for having a keen eye.
So – we’re going into M4 – that’s our 4th six-weeks grading period. Our school schedule is year-round. We do 6 weeks on and a one-week break throughout the year, then take all of December off and start our new school year in January. We end up with a total to 7 grading periods, which comes out to about 165-ish days (we school M-Th). We’re going into our 6th month of homeschooling – I can’t believe how FAST the months have passed! It seems like we have just gotten started. Looking back at how much we’ve accomplished, I’m simply amazed. I didn’t really suffer with self-doubt about homeschooling (overly much, anyway), but it’s really nice to be able to look back and see just how much we really have covered. Last week, for example, we were discussing a friend who recently moved back to Michigan and how far away that is. We haven’t done a whole lot of geography on the map, but we have discussed in great detail the Great Lakes area in one of our lesson series. I was trying to tell the kids how far away Michigan was in relation to Texas, and I brought up the Lakes… and they totally got it! They had a whole discussion that reviewed much of the material we discussed months ago – on their own! That was such a gratifying “homeschool mommy moment”.
With summer coming up, we’ll have a unique addition to our family’s school days. My niece, Fred, will be joining us several days a week. She’s a “school-a-holic” – she loves school, and has requested to be allowed to participate. So I’m going to be planning some things for her to do as well. Since she and my oldest, LittleBoyBlue, are in the same grade (going into 3rd), it won’t really be any problem to add in lessons for her. PeaGreen is going into 2nd now (wow – my baby is in second grade!).
So, without further adieu… planning! {fanfare}
Okay, so… one of the main things we’re going to work into our summer is letterboxing. If you’ve read previous posts, you’ve probably seen it mentioned before. Basically, letterboxing is a treasure hunt. You have a notebook and a stamp (hand-carved or bought, your choice. It’s your personal stamp – your mark), and ink pad and the list of clues to find the box (and there are literally thousands of them, all over the world). Then you go out and find the box. In it, you’ll find a notebook and a stamp. You stamp your book with the box’s stamp, and mark your stamp into the box’s book and then hide the box back exactly where you found it so it can be found again. And that’s it! Unless you want to start making and hiding boxes (in which case you have a whole new level of fun to enjoy). Learn all you want about it at Letterboxing North America’s website.
The other thing that will be taking up a lot of the next 2 mods is the Texas Nature Challenge. It’s a 12 week, 24 state park “how many can you visit” challenge with a mission for you (the kids?) to complete. We snagged a nifty poster from the Big Thicket Visitor’s Center a couple of weeks ago. We stopped in by chance and learned about it by accident. It’s such a cool concept though that we’re really looking forward to sinking our teeth into it. The neat thing about these two projects is that they can be done in conjunction with each other. We’ve already completed 2.5 missions and are really looking forward to doing more of them!
Now, as for what subjects those things fall into, I’m filing them under science, geography, critical thinking, history, art… pretty much all of them! Different missions and different clues and locations for letterbox hunting contain different aspects of “school”. Sometimes we’re drawing, following a map, learning about the history of an area or object – the list is endless and i LOVE being able to have school be a living, breathing thing.
Of course, we’ll still be doing ‘real’ schoolwork as well. I still haven’t had time to delve into Lesson Pathways site yet, so that’s high on my list for planning this mod. I’m planning on using their Year 3 Math for LittleBoyBlue and Year 2 Math for PeaGreen starting at some point this mod. I have Saxon 3, but not all of the consumables, so I will be supplementing LP’s stuff with that. We were supposed to get into multiplication tables this past mod with LBB, but haven’t really sunk into them yet, so we’re going to start off next week (week 3 of M4 – already!!) hitting them hard and heavy.
Something else we’re starting is mock-scouting. I love the concept of scouting, but the dogma of organized scouting programs just don’t work for our family. So, we’re doing an ‘adventure kids’ type thing that mimics scouting in some ways. I started buying patches from the State Parks we’ve visited and am going to make a sash for them to showcase their achievements. I also found a bunch of merit badges (demerit badges, in some cases) that are fun and amusing that we’ll use as well – I want this to be fun and interesting – not plain ole’ Boy Scouts stuff. So I’m going to choose the badges that I like and come up with a worksheet/accomplishment/task/skill set for the boys to complete to earn them. I’m still working on this, so when I get it together better in my head, I’ll do a new post about it with links and such so you can see.
Another really cool thing that is going on this summer is our library’s Summer Reading Club. Their theme this summer is ‘The Reading Express”. In addition to encouraging the kids to read (20 books), they can log their time and compete for prizes from the mayor’s office and get an award for reading. There are also a TON of nifty classes, presentations and projects that they’re offering in connection with the club – and the best part about it is that it’s all FREE! If you’re not local, then check your library – they may have something similar that you can take advantage of. Our library also has a room (or shelf, depending on the branch we’re at that day) with books for sale – either donated or withdrawn. Usually, they’re super cheap. If you’re book hunting, you can usually pick up a text-book or two, and almost always find a handful of kids books to supplement your personal library for very little dough. Other places, like Barnes & Noble and Scholastic also offer Summer Reading Programs that might be worth checking out.
Language Arts: Mad Libs! Or, if you’re interested in playing online, you can use Wacky Web Tales, which is similar – and still fun! Of course, we’re still going to be doing more traditional LA work – I’ve been using EnglishGrammar101 for LittleBoyBlue, but I am thinking that it’s a bit too far ahead of where he is at. We’re into Unit 1, Lesson 14-ish, and he’s having trouble with a lot of it. Whether that’s due to inattention or inability, I am just not sure. I’m thinking of starting with Lesson Pathways Language Arts (which starts with Boxcar Children lessons, which I like) and trying some of the ProTeacher resources.
For History and Geography, we’re still using ‘A Short History of the World’ by Alex Woolf, and also using worksheets from SuperTeacherWorksheets – I use that site quite a bit, especially when we’re going to be schooling on-the-go. It’s easy to snag and print a couple of worksheets that coordinate with something we’re doing “in-class”. The library’s summer reading club has some history-based activities (like the Pioneer Lady’ mentioned in my previous post).
Science is going to be spent outdoors a lot this summer. In addition to the above-mentioned Texas Nature Challenge, we’re planning a trip to the Houston Museum of Natural Science and to several additional state parks. We’re also doing the Houston Wilderness Passport, which focuses on specific ecosystems in our area.
Other than that, we’re kinds going lite this mod. We’ve scaled back history and science to only 1 day per week each, and art and music are each 1 day. Handwriting is M, T, W and journal is at least 2 days per week. Math, spelling, reading, phonics - those are everyday. We’re trying to fit lessons at home with lessons out-and-about; since we have such a busy summer planned, it will be a challenge to get all our lessons in. So far, so good though. Tomorrow marks the last day of week 2 – Only 4 more weeks left in this mod!
I hope you found something useful in this post! As always, I’d love to hear what you think, or what you’re using.
Warmly,
~h
CBC 3-4 and Summer Reading Club
Day 3 of the CBC was all about ‘creative buzz kills’ and de-motivators – those things, both internal and external that stifle or immobilize your creativity. As I said in my journal, for me, the buzz kill is not so much a lack of creativity (as in ‘coming up with the idea’), but a true lack of talent. It’s the inability to bring what I see in my head to life on the page. I would LOVE to have the innate talent to be able to draw what I picture exactly as I see it, but without years of hard work under me, that’s probably not going to happen. If I was dead-set on being and ‘artist-e’, then that would really bum me out. As it is, I’m content to piddle with drawing and create in other ways.
The prompt for Day 3 was MULTILAYERED. The first thing that came to mind was a group shot of my two boys with my niece (who is staying with us during the week while my sister is at works this summer) all scrunched up together with smiles and hugs… similar to this, only standing and with better editing, lol:
When I do my ‘phase II’ of the CBC, I’ll try to set that shot up. For Phase I though, here’s what ultimately came out:
Yeah, ‘The Princess and the Pea’. All those mattresses. It’s more ‘cartoon-y’ than realistic, but I’m pleased with it. I’m more pleased with the floor and the window than I am with the hand – I just can NOT draw lifelike people-features for anything. Oh, well – the theme wasn’t about realism, so giant-cartoon-hand notwithstanding, I don’t think it’s all that bad – never going to hang in a museum – but not horrible.
Day 4 was about ‘inspiration’ for creative works and the theme was HEAVY METAL. Now, the first thing that came to mind for heavy metal was some punk-rock headbanger kid. Alas, I know no one who fits that bill, so I was left to ponder that topic while we went about our day.
With the arrival of summer break comes the “Reading Express” – our library system’s Summer Reading Club. They feature activities and classes all summer at the local library branches, so today we ventured out to a library across town for an art class sponsored by our local Art Museum. The kids were instructed to make a collage depicting the “Reading Express”.
Since the topic for today’s lesson was ‘heavy metal’, I thought that the train went well with it. While they were crafting, I was really itching to get my hands on some paper to draw this:
Okay, well not ‘exactly’ that – it looks much better and more realistic in my head. And more menacing, I should point out. This is quite childish in my opinion and not really what I had in mind, overall. The thing that stood out most in my mind was the big iron cattle pusher, so that’s what I wanted the piece to focus on, and I think I did that, therefore I am pleased with it. When I do Phase II, I want to try to find someone who looks the part (or dress a kid up) for this one.
We also got to have a history lesson ‘on the go’ today – again with the library’s summer program. A woman who calls herself ‘The Pioneer Lady’ came and talked to the kids about her grandmother, who came to Texas in a covered wagon. She brought all kinds of nifty things for the kids to experiment with and told quite a few stories that her grandmother told her as a girl. She’s a good story-teller and the kids had a really good time listening and participating in the things she brought for them to try.
The kids are well on their way to completing the 20 books assigned as part of the program. They can also log their time over the summer and turn it in to the Mayor’s office to get a certificate and if they’re among the ones who’ve read the most, they may win a prize.
I have been so looking forward to the time when my kids were old enough to participate in this kind of thing. Once they stared school, they were old enough (mostly), but by the time summer arrived, I was so tired of schedules and having to be somewhere with a deadline that we didn’t really feel up to participating. Now, it seems like I’m more able to put energy into this kind of thing. I’m so looking forward to our busy summer!
Warmly,
~h
Creativity Boot Camp Begins!
So, as I mentioned, I’m doing the Creativity Boot Camp with Madeline Bea over at Blogspot. She’s doing a 2 week course to help boost creativity and I was thinking, ‘I could use some of that’ and jumped on the bandwagon (which is more now like a bus; there are so many people doing it).
There’s a flicker pool that some of the participants are sharing their work that you can check out. There are some seriously creative and talented people there! It’s such a neat concept and I’m so glad I found it!
Day 1′s theme was IVORY. Originally, my thought was to draw (did I mention that I decided to work with pencil/charcoal and paper? Well, that’s what I’m using) an arm and hand, zombie-fied with the lovely ivory bones showing through. Unfortunately, I am so not anywhere near talented enough to bring flesh to life on paper and so my vision on that goes unrealized. I had to do something though, so I just doodled. It’s not great, but it is (sorta) what I had in mind when I started.
The first thing that came to mind was bones, which led to tusks and elephants. Then fangs and teeth, fingernails (which aren’t ivory, but in that same family in my mind) and piano keys. I did manage to get a zombie reaching from his grave, which is probably my favorite part of the picture, lol. I really wish I could draw more realistic images though.
My mom has an old upright grand piano with actual ivory keys (she didn’t buy it that way; it’s been in our family for generations and is old and decrepit now). I am considering doing a ‘Phase II’ of this program with photography and going to take some pictures of it for that. If I do, I’ll add them.
Today was Day 2, and the theme was PICNIC. Ants was absolutely the first thing that popped into my head; when I was little, my nightmare monster was a giant (bed-sized) black ant. It lived under my bed and would come out when my parents turned off the kitchen light, when it would climb out from under my bed, walk on the walls and then onto my bed. I swear I could feel the bed move when it stepped on it, and the covers would pull a bit where it’s feet were at. I remember screaming my head off because of that damn insect! So I drew it.
Again, I am planning a Phase II of this, and I have yet to decide if I want to use a picture I have already or take new ones. We picnic frequently so if I do need new pics, then they shouldn’t be that hard to come by.
So… that’s my contribution to the continued development of the creativity that I believe I possess (in small quantities). I may be wrong, lol, but I’m trying. I will say that I am being quite literal. I think I need to think outside the box more and take more time to fully realize the concept being presented.
We’ll see what tomorrow, and Day 3, brings.
Warmly,
~h
P.S. Hey – if you’re doing the CBC, comment and lmk where you’re posting your work so I can see!
Local Flair and Culture
Even though we don’t stop school for summer break like most schools, I still tend to think of June as the start of summer. It seems like our summer (i.e.: June) has been busy thus far, and that’s saying something since today is only the 6th!
Earlier this week, the kids and I went to the Green Thumb class at the McFaddin-Ward House, which is a local museum made from a home of one of our area’s prominent families from the 1900-1950′s. They have a lot of conservation and gardening minded events throughout the summer. unfortunately, we found out about the class right before the last of the series, so we’ll have to make a not for next summer and try to catch them all.
The one we went to was helping the kids make appetizers and recipes from some of the things they harvested from their gardens (previously planted). Cucumbers, dill, rosemary & red bell peppers, and dips of ranch dressing and hummus, along with goldfish crackers and capri-suns.
Then, we switched tables and they got to paint with food dyes – as in dye made from food. They crushed up beets and raspberries for a couple of shades of red/pink, coffee in various strengths for everything from yellow to brown, charcoal for black, and some kind of common mineral that I can’t remember the name of to make a lovely blue color. They said green was really hard to come by from plants, so I’m tempted to try to repeat this experiment at home and see what we can come up with from some of the plants and things in our yard.
Skip to this weekend and we hit the Home Depot’s Kids’ Build Learn Create Workshop (which is their version of Lowe’s Build and Grow Kids’ Clinic) – they got to make a nifty miniature foosball game. Then we went over to Michael’s craft store for another kid-craft; this time they got to make a little Klutz journal. Michael’s has a ton of stuff planned for Father’s Day in the week leading up to it – some in the evenings and some over the weekend. Most is either free of there’s a nominal fee – we’re planning on going to some of those classes too.
Which brings us to today… in an effort to help my kids avoid being weirdly anti-social and small-minded, we went out to the Buu Mon Buddhist Temple‘s annual Lotus & Bamboo Festival this afternoon.
They had a guided tour of the Lotus Garden and several things we missed – it’s a 2 day festival and we only got to go to the last half of the last day. we did get to see Sonny Carlin’s Bird Show – the kids enjoyed that a great deal. Then we took our own tour of the gardens and grounds and listened in on the Tea Lecture, which showcased and prepared several amazing teas. The we went into the temple for the closing ceremonies, which featured the Lotus Dancers and the Dragon Dance.
In all, this was a pretty productive weekend! Now, I’m posting this and going to enjoy the lovely garlic chicken pizza that my Loverly Husband made for dinner. Then I’m headed over to the Creativity Boot Camp blog to see what we’re starting with. Ciao!
Warmly,
~h
Cultivating Creative Genius
You know, I used to be a really talented and creative person… before I had kids. With their birth came a sort of hyper-focus on being the best mom I could be, and in that (like lots of women) I seem to have lost some of the inherent sparkle that made me me.
I am and always have been quite undisciplined when it comes to crafting. I dabble; I’m a dabbler. I have yet to perfect any crafty-type hobby that I’ve taken an interest in, and I’ve taken an interest in a lot of hobbies. Over the years, I’ve learned to crochet and knit, embroider, work a sewing machine, quilt, scrapbook, journal, paint (watercolor, oils and acrylics) draw, screen print fabrics, batik fabrics (with wax and with other cheating-type resists), decoupage, burn wood, attempt writing (non fiction and fiction), make jewelery and… you get the idea. And I have supplies packed away for all of those hobbies, though admittedly, some have been used more recently than others.
Unfortunately, many of those supplies have gone unused for far too long. I’ve been meaning to get myself more involved in things I used to enjoy, and I have to a degree. Since the boys are home and we’re doing crafts for school, I’ve had more time that I can dedicate to crafting (though more often than not, the craft is kid-centered more than me-centered). Plus, in checking out That Artist Woman’s Blog for kid crafts, I’ve been inspired to work on my own crafts more. I’ve actually started already – I got out my pastels and came up with a couple of pictures (none of which I am confident enough to share) that I ended up liking (and several that were absolutely horrid).
So… all this is a long preamble just to say that I am going to participate in this:
I am not sure what medium I’m going to use. I have a couple of short stories that I need to work on, but I am really itching to work with paints again… then again, pastels and pencils always appeal. I think you’re supposed to stick with one medium for the entire exercise, but I know me and I am not sure I can commit to that, so I may just do the exercise with whatever medium appeals at the time. It starts tomorrow, so I supposed I’d better pick something, huh?
I also came across Terrance Zdunich’s Lesson Plans at The Molting Comic Blog. If you’ve seen REPO! The Genetic Opera (not to be confused with the less operatic and more cookie-cutter Hollywood bore-fest that is Repo Men), then you’ll recognize the incomparable Mr. Zdunich as the Graverobber and part of the (possibly evil) genius behind the concept of a dystopian future in which your designer and/or medically necessary replacement internal organs may be repossessed for lack of payment by scary men with big bloody saws. Chilling, no? Check it out – you’ll not be disappointed. And if you’re a parent, then you’ll also recognize Alexa Vega from Spy Kids fame all grown up as Shilo. It’s almost as disturbing as realizing that Jacob from Twilight (coughvampiresdontsparklecough) is Shark Boy. o_O
Anyway – while I likely won’t be submitting my compliant videos for judgement and evaluation, I am nonetheless interested to see where that little project goes over the next few weeks. If I decide to participate in that experiment, I’ll just take pictures and log my progress here.
I do like that both projects are going on simultaneously. I have several ideas that I have yet to out to paper, but I’m inspired, and I think that’s the point of both endeavors, yes? So if you’re feeling less than vibrantly colored, or feeling that your creative genius is underdeveloped, then you should try is, too.
Warmly,
~h
SuperMom
So I’ve been trying to write this post about “SuperMom” for a couple of weeks now. I keep opening it and writing and editing it and then loosing my train of thought and saving the draft, never finishing it out. My (as ever, long-winded) point is that someone called me a “SuperMom” the other day (and though I’ll not pretend like it didn’t make me feel good to have a near-stranger acknowledge the total awesomeness that is me), it got me thinking about how that comment, though meant in most instances as a compliment, seems more like self-depreciating commentary on her own mothering by the person saying it; that somehow she’s not measuring up to the invisible yardstick that we all carry.
Mothers are competitive. Oh yes, we are – don’t try to deny it! For many of us, becoming a mother is the single most life-altering experience that we go through and it leaves us forever and profoundly changed. Not only in and of yourself, but also with the title of “Mom” comes the immense responsibility of creating a complete and functional person. We’ve all seen how our own parents have screwed up, and most of us are determined not to make the same mistakes. On some level, I think we all go into being a mom (at least mentally) just knowing that we’re going to be perfect parents. Then your babe is born, reality sets in and we all kinda realize that we are in NO WAY qualified to do this job. In the first few weeks, your life changes so much – you had no idea how different things would be. On the one hand, you’re thrilled with this opportunity. On the other, you’re second guessing yourself, wondering if you haven’t just bitten off significantly more than you can chew.
But somehow you get through. You wake up one day and realize that you’ve worked through the initial issues getting started and that you’re actually breastfeeding and it’s going well. You discover that cloth diapers are not as horrible as you always thought they’d be (in fact, you’re kinda enjoying them). The prospect of making your baby’s food instead of buying jarred sounds intriguing rather than crazy. You discover that you actually love having your baby in your bed. Your baby is happy and healthy and content and you start to fall into a routine – and the routine becomes your life. You gain confidence – after that first sleepless night where the baby cried ALL NIGHT LONG and you made it through; stick a feather in your cap. Then you’re hitting milestones and baby is starting to respond to you – smiling, reaching for toys, rolling over… and the competition starts. You start seeking other moms with babies that are close in age to yours and talking. You’re mentally comparing your baby to theirs – is she doing this? Is he doing that? It’s not intentional – but it happens. You even tell yourself that ‘every baby is different and they all develop at their own pace’ – but you still start to feel happy if your baby is a bit ahead, or worry if your babe is lagging behind. Still, you reassure yourself that you’re a good mom and that’s all that matters, right?
Then there are the different ways that parents have with their babes. Depending on which books they’ve read, or which ones you’ve read (or what websites, or what their friends do, or what their family has told them to do or not to do…), they might feed by breast or bottle, baby might sleep with them or in a crib, they might diaper in cloth or in disposables, they might vaccinate or not – there are so many options and so much information to process and such a short time frame in which to process it – how do you go about deciding what’s best?
Most of us make our choices and then in some form or another, pass judgement on parents who follow different paths. It’s normal and natural – not that I endorse doing so; I’m saying that it’s just how it is. Most of us try to overcome that tendency and keep an open mind when it comes to differences – but the truth is that we all do what we do with our kids because we believe that THIS is the RIGHT way to do it. Of course it is; otherwise, why would we do that? So deep down, we all individually believe that we’re a better parent than any other – for our own kids, at least. And we have to believe that or we would be paralyzed by indecision and constantly second guessing ourselves. Kids need a stable environment, and being a wishy-washy parent is not conducive to stability.
The problem comes in when we find moms who we observe doing things that we like that are in conflict with what we do or with a belief about child rearing that we have committed ourselves to – or worse, somehow, is when you get more information and realize that you’ve done something that you really wish you hadn’t (or didn’t do something you really wish you had). I think one of the single hardest things to do as a parent is to admit that we were wrong about something. When it comes to something ‘big’ like discovering that what we thought we knew is wrong, it’s even harder. And somehow, when we start talking to other moms and they’re doing (or not doing) something we wish we had (or hadn’t), we feel guilty and some of us go on the defensive.
There’s a saying, ‘When you know better, do better.” I first heard it when I was contemplating not having any more vaccines for my oldest. The statement was meant, I believe, to alleviate guilt that a mom feels when she makes a decision that was based on too little information, education or research. This is a hard thing for me – not for the decisions I made in ignorance (like circumcision – I wishwishwish I’d had more info on that ‘routine procedure’ before my kids were born), but in the crusade to help other moms avoid the same mistakes I made. I know how it feels to field unwanted advice, but I also know how it feels to wish someone had told me that what I was doing had an alternative. So where do you find the balance? Is there a balance?
I do think that teaching by example is a viable way to educate. The drawback there is that as my kids get older, I have less and less opportunity to talk about topics that relate to babies, which is when I think new moms need access to information and alternatives. There is so much that happens in that first year or two that can be irreparable (circ, vax, CIO) and can do such lasting damage, and there just isn’t that much information out there on the alteratives in the mainstream that isn’t negatively biased. Unless you stumble across Mothering magazine or a La Leche League meeting, or are lucky enough to have an API group or other ‘crunchy moms‘ group in your area, you’re probably not going to hear a lot about alternatives to the mainstream (which is c-section, bottle-feeding, crib-sleeping, sleep-training, cry-it-out, stroller pushing, fully vaxed on schedule, disposable diapering, starting Gerber at 6 months, etc.)
It doesn’t end there. As your babe gets older, it’s not just the babies that you’re watching – you start taking in what other moms are doing too and comparing yourself. But does that really do any good? Well, sure. You can always pick up tips and ideas from watching what other moms do. I learned about baby-wearing and slings (and how and why they’re different and better than baby carriers*) and about all kinds of stuff from watching and talking to other moms. I even have the few moms that I look up to – moms that I call “SuperMom” in my head – and yes, in comparing myself to them, I feel inferior. That’s what got me started on this thread… I know when I say “SuperMom”, it’s in a wishful way – I wish I had XYZ traits that I see in that mom.
I have my strengths. I’m an organized mom. I always have extra clothes, a first aid kit, snacks and something for my kids to do – and usually a book or handicraft for myself – in my bag. If it’s not in my bag, then it’s in the car. That’s just how I roll. The upside to this is that we can take on practically any task at any time. I am also a very schedule/routine-oriented person, internally. I try not to let that interfere with my kids, but I have an incredibly high need for order. It may not look like it from the outside, but it’s there. (Okay, I know it’s plainly visible from the outside – I’m not fooling anyone, lol). When I plan my day, I need to do the things I planned on doing at the right time in the right order. The downside to this (and yes, there is a downside) is that when my schedule is thrown off or I am caught unawares, it is almost catastrophic to my state of being. Not that I am not flexible on my own – I can make changes, either to accommodate the kids or due to a better plan presenting itself, and that’s fine. But for someone else to throw off my schedule is extremely vexing.
I have some mama-friends who are, like me, organized and prepared for practically anything. I also have several mama-friends who wouldn’t know how to deal with a schedule if it jumped up and smacked them in the face. I envy these women their sense of spontaneity. I envy them their ability to deal with hungry kids on the go, or not freaking out when the child gets muddy and has to ride home half-nakee and their creative solutions for things that happen in the course of the day. I envy them their calm and ‘just roll with the punches” attitude and their patience when things don’t go according to schedule. I’m sure that my rigid adherence to the plan, and pique at being thrown off of it is just as annoying to them as the fact that we’re late is to me… but somehow, we have overcome this major difference in personality and style and have forged amazingly strong and supportive friendships, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have these women in my life to lean on and learn from. In our own ways, we’re providing the optimal environment for our children to thrive in. We’re meeting their needs – as many of them as we can. That’s our job, and we’re all damn good at it in our own ways.
Innate as being ‘judgy-judgy’ is to moms, we need to make the effort to move past that when we feel it creeping up inside. We also need to move past going on the defensive when someone talks about doing things differently than we do. We each need to be secure in our beliefs and philosophy and parenting style that what we’re doing for our children is right for them, and to be open to making changes when we find a better path. We need to be able to listen to another’s explanation or thoughts and weigh whether or not they have any merit for us or can be adapted for use in our own family.
Back to the “SuperMom” comment… it seems to me that there are plenty of criticisms coming in from many different angles once you become a parent; why add to that with self-depreciating comments of your own? I think the main thing we need to ask when we start second guessing ourselves is, “What does my heart tell me to do?” The instincts of a mother are pre-programmed into her brain. Without them, our species would not have survived this long, so there must be some value in them. We need to help each other, as mothers, to rediscover and trust the inherent wisdom that comes with motherhood. As a mom, YOU are the authority on your children – you’re with them more than anyone else (ideally) and you have a unique biological connection to your child that no one else can replicate. No one is better qualified to be your child’s mother than YOU. So no matter what your style or philosophy or failings, the only one who really needs to think that you’re a SuperMom is your kiddo – and chances are, s/he already does.
Warmly,
~h
*not a carrier – a SLING – and not a crappy Infantino one that got recalled – any babywearing mama would have told you that those are really inferior slings – buy from a WAHM off etsy.com!
Sex Education in School
I woke up to this today, reposted on Facebook: Massachusetts School District Under Fire For Condom Policy. In stark contrast, Texas maintains an ‘abstinence only education’ policy despite the rising number of teen pregnancies in our schools, which obviously shows that ‘abstinence only’ education really works! [/sarcasm] – well, after the picture…
Isn’t that an awesome picture? I think it illustrates exactly the atmosphere that abstinence only education breeds. All the while, parents are sticking their heads in the sand and hoping that their kids aren’t doing it too. And they’re wrong.
Sex Education in schools is a topic that is woefully under addressed. I really don’t see why this is not a more openly debated topic in Southeast Texas. Well, I know why it’s not, really. We have a disproportionately large number of churches to other buildings here. The religious right has their finger firmly in that pie, and who knows what it will take to release the masses from their death-grip on the idea that ‘sex=sin’. I just don’t understand why so many people go merrily along with it instead of openly advocating for their kids to have access to the education and information they need to make better choices.
Here’s the rub: if abstinence only education (AOE) actually worked, then teaching it would be fine. I was even fine with a trial period to test the theory. But it does not work. A cursory glimpse of any research on the topic will tell you that. It didn’t work for us; why on earth would we start thinking that it will work for our kids? AOE leaves our kids vulnerable. Not informing and arming our kids through education leaves them wide open for exposure to disease, pregnancy (and the subsequent very grown-up decisions one must face with an unplanned pregnancy), being talking into having sex before they’re ready (which can lead to depression and self-esteem issues) and a host of other complications as well. Even if a child is coerced into having sex before he or she is ready, at least a condom will lessen the risk of having a permanently life-altering physical consequence from the encounter.
Some parents don’t even want their kids to have access to basic biological information and terminology. Many go so far as to deny their kids information about how their bodies work and the changes that take place in them as puberty begins. ‘Carrie‘, anyone? I’ve seen this attitude first-hand here in Southeast Texas. One of the programs that my BFF/business partner and I tired to implement a couple of years ago with our organization was a ‘body awareness’ class targeting mothers and daughters. The target age range was for mothers and girls about to enter puberty. The class was designed with two goals in mind – to provide a basic education of how the female body works and to increase communication between mother (or female guardian/trusted female relative or friend) and daughter by addressing and opening the floor to topics that may be uncomfortable to bring up. We were met with outright opposition to the very idea of talking to girls as young as 9 or 10 about their monthly cycle and the development of breasts – as if frank discussion about such topics was somehow obscene. Some moms were profoundly offended, despite the fact that we clearly were not addressing sexual topics other that just a very, very basic mention of the mechanics. We also sought to encourage moms to open a dialogue about the other issues surrounding sex and ‘sexual activity within the context of their own individual belief systems’ with their children. We were not pushing anything onto these people, other than the idea that ‘girls need education’.
Boys do, too – don’t for one second think I am leaving them out. I have two of them on the precipice of puberty and that is a mind-blowing thought. But I can tell you that the discussions have already begun. At 8 and 7, my boys know where babies come from and we’ve talked about physical intimacy in roundabout ways. But the time is fast approaching where they’ll need more information and just because I’m squicked out by the idea of my sons thinking about having sex does not give me the right to withhold information they need in order to do so safely. Recognizing that gives me the opportunity and responsibility to continue talking with them about when it is right to have sex within the context of our belief system. Those types of discussions contribute to their ability to make the decision that is right for them.
The argument that sex education encourages kids to have sex is ludicrous. Sure, you might (I kinda doubt it, but the possibility exists) have a handful kids who would not otherwise have had sex until someone told them about it, but I would assert that those few kids have deeper issues in their lives that have impacted that decision than having access to condoms. I would further assert that for those children, having access to birth control would go along way towards preventing additional complications in their lives.
My opinion is that proper sex education gives children the knowledge and confidence in their bodies and beliefs to say no until the time is right for them, and when it is right, to engage in sexual activity with their own futures and safety, and the futures and safety of their partners, in mind.
Loverly Husband and I have recently begun watching the series Mad Men, and in one of the first episodes a young woman is at the gynecologists office and asks for birth control pills. He gives them to her, but threatens to take her off of them if she abuses them. He says that just because she is safe now doesn’t mean that she has to be the town bike (or some such nonsense). As if it is his right to monitor the sexual activity of a grown woman! The thought that ‘we’, being parents, the church, the school – anyone who is not the person (‘underage person’ though they may be) in question – can dictate to anyone else when the time is right for them to engage in sexual activity is asinine. Who told you when the time was right for you to have your first sexual experience? Did you get permission? Did you use protection? I didn’t! And I was damn lucky that there were not lifelong consequences resulting from that decision. Do I ever want my kids in that position?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
I think that open dialogue with our kids is the only way to help them understand that sex is not something that should be taken lightly. That the possibility of pregnancy always exists, even with protection. That ‘sex’ is not always ‘intercourse’. That prophylactics can fail, leaving you open to exposure to disease. That you may feel differently after you’ve had sex. That other kids may see you differently after you’ve had sex. That it will probably feel good. That No means NO. That sometimes, sex is just sex. That intimacy and sex are not the same thing. That waiting doesn’t make you a loser, or immature, or a prude. That you have absolute autonomy when it comes to your own body.
There are so many issues surrounding sex that should be addressed, and I think that many parents put those intense and uncomfortable discussions off because they either think they have more time (forgetting that our babies grow up so lightening-quick that if you blink you might miss it…) or they are so uncomfortable with the topic that they avoid it.
Sex is NOT going to go away – and if YOU don’t talk to your kids about it, someone else will. In fact, if you’re not talking to your kids about sex, they probably are talking to someone else about it. Someone who may not share your views on sex. Someone who might be younger or less experienced than you. Someone who might be misinformed. Someone who might give your child bad information.
If you’re having a hard time getting sex ed into your child’s education, here are some books to help get the discussion started:
I have some of them, but I haven’t read all of those. I am buying a couple of them to ensure that we have plenty of material to work with. I consider myself a pretty open-minded mom, and progressive parent. While I don’t want my kids sexually active at a young age, I do want my children to have a healthy understanding of sex as both a biological function and as an expression of love with their partner. As much as I’d love to believe that I’ll know when my kids have their first sexual experience, realistically, I doubt that I will. In any case, I’d rather have my kids getting condoms from somewhere or someone than having this be our new life:
Warmly,
~h
June 27, 2010 | Categories: Advocacy, Rambling Thoughts, Sex, She said WHAT? | Tags: commentary, Parenting, raising responsible adults, sex ed | 2 Comments »